(no subject)
I wish i believed in fate. I've always completely believed that everything that happens is a result of decisions and actions. Nothing is bound to happen, and nothing happens specifically for a reason. I am writing this because I'm not doing my homework. I am studying engineering at binghamton university because I chose to. I'm single because that's where I've put myself. The problem with thinking this way is that whenever something happens it's your fault. Whenever someone breaks your heart. you do bad on a test, you're having a rough time: it's your fault. Coupled with the fact that I have trouble letting go, this leads to me having a lot more regrets and things I can't get over. If I could only accept that maybe somethings were bound to happen, or that somethings weren't all my doing, I think I could sleep at night. You all have an influence on my life. And even though I may always be able to come up with an excuse to pin it on myself, some things are just going to happen and I need to stop burying myself. I need to accept the fact that I am not completely in control. You have your say in other people's lives, just as they do in yours. I'm perpetually tearing myself apart and I'm tired of it. Unless the fucking delorean pulls up next to you with an open door you better stop living in the past and just fucking exonerate yourself.
When you realize something you've been doing wrong, don't harp on that you did it, but revel in that you will try not to anymore.
I am perpetually fighting against a current of indifference and naiveness.
When you realize something you've been doing wrong, don't harp on that you did it, but revel in that you will try not to anymore.
I am perpetually fighting against a current of indifference and naiveness.