and it's a little bit funny

[xfailures_artx]

life's weird. you pray about getting into colleges and that everything will fall into place as you want it to and that you won't have to make a big decisions--lord knows i hate big decisions. and then things start to not work out like you had planned. i obviously was not meant for nyc just yet...and although that's hard to take, i'm happy with the ways it's turning out. today i sent off my check to chapel hill which is an amazing school (shhh if i make it sound really good to myself i'll get uberexcited and i've almost reached that point) and things are working themselves out. i'll just move to nyc as soon as i'm out of college. yes that's it. sometimes god has different plans for you than you have for yourself and you just have to dance where you're directed. i feel relieved aboot costs for attendance and i'm excited because sophie will still be able to visit me... i think i get a new car...a private single apt thingy...close to my sister and fam...unfortunately that means i'll be away from the city and sarah and troian...the pace and the excitement of nyc that i thrive upon...the place i was sure i would be spending the next four years of my life. okay hah positive thoughts lauren, positive thoughts. ohhh okay--adam and i are gonna have a band in college--he told me we could if i played a weird instrument. umm i'm thinking the kazoo (ughh spelling). yeah that would be hot!! hha speaking of bands--going to Big Orange Lovely concert May 1st for FREE!!! cause i'm hot and i'm with the band...hehe no i'm just taking pics for them. yay



My tears dissolve on the pillow below my head
drenching it with rings of despair and painting
a picture so vivid that you can almost taste its bitterness
The wind dances outside the window and the moon laughs mockingly
at me as if to say
"stupid girl...what made this time different?"