::sigh::
sidenote: i'm making this entry public with the hopes that the people i want to read it, will actually read it.
for once in my life, i've discovered what it is to feel cared about.
lets just say that this boy i know ::wink:: does the dumbest, littlest things to make me feel OK. he leaves money for me to take the bus to school so i don't have to walk in the rain, he gets my beers, he kisses me in front of other people [hint-hint] and best of all: he cuddles after sex! amazing, i know.
i'm beginning to understand that my trivial little nuances against people that are total assholes are completely and totally useless. granted, i do let a significant amount of people walk all over me, and i do give a lot of people waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too many god damn chances, however, the people that really don't deserve grudges aren't going to get them anymore. i mean, for example, tim was a douchebag, he thinks i'm annoying, so fucking what. i'm not going to make things uncomfortable for everyone just because he thinks i'm annoying. i have absolutely no problem being civil if he doesn't. it doesn't take a lot of work to make things ok for everyone... and dan .. i've hated him this whole time because he hated me for whatever reason i still don't know. i'll be civil if he will. adam, kate, micah, niq, these people are all the same way. little things [ok, with kate and micah, it's a big thing, but whatever] OR big things, regardless ... i have my faults, i can sure as hell admit that in no problem. hell, i can even agree with tim that at times i can be a fucking terror. i don't mean to, and that's generally the problem. i don't mean to be obnoxious, it just kind of happens that way.
i've discovered that i know that i'm happy right now. i'm in a good place. i'm starting to appreciate myself and the people around me that really do love me, and care about me, some of which may not be alive anymore, but still mean the world and still watch me.
in other news, i had my iconophiles meeting today, and it was off the hook. free bialys. and for those of you that don't know what a bialy is, it's a really soft, awesomely delicious square bagel. YES! a square bagel. who would have thought.
and contrary to popular belief, i am not going to make an anti-bush post. i've said enough already, done enough already, taken care of enough already.
i started work yesterday. it's easy. but very hot there.
i have to work tomorrow night at the gay bar. good times will be had by all.
i also have a shitload of meetings and more work to attend to, so if i get bitchy or snappy at anyone, don't think it's intentional. it's just me being stressed over all the damn midterm work and meetings and work to do. i apologize in advance.
comment. ♥
for once in my life, i've discovered what it is to feel cared about.
lets just say that this boy i know ::wink:: does the dumbest, littlest things to make me feel OK. he leaves money for me to take the bus to school so i don't have to walk in the rain, he gets my beers, he kisses me in front of other people [hint-hint] and best of all: he cuddles after sex! amazing, i know.
i'm beginning to understand that my trivial little nuances against people that are total assholes are completely and totally useless. granted, i do let a significant amount of people walk all over me, and i do give a lot of people waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too many god damn chances, however, the people that really don't deserve grudges aren't going to get them anymore. i mean, for example, tim was a douchebag, he thinks i'm annoying, so fucking what. i'm not going to make things uncomfortable for everyone just because he thinks i'm annoying. i have absolutely no problem being civil if he doesn't. it doesn't take a lot of work to make things ok for everyone... and dan .. i've hated him this whole time because he hated me for whatever reason i still don't know. i'll be civil if he will. adam, kate, micah, niq, these people are all the same way. little things [ok, with kate and micah, it's a big thing, but whatever] OR big things, regardless ... i have my faults, i can sure as hell admit that in no problem. hell, i can even agree with tim that at times i can be a fucking terror. i don't mean to, and that's generally the problem. i don't mean to be obnoxious, it just kind of happens that way.
i've discovered that i know that i'm happy right now. i'm in a good place. i'm starting to appreciate myself and the people around me that really do love me, and care about me, some of which may not be alive anymore, but still mean the world and still watch me.
in other news, i had my iconophiles meeting today, and it was off the hook. free bialys. and for those of you that don't know what a bialy is, it's a really soft, awesomely delicious square bagel. YES! a square bagel. who would have thought.
and contrary to popular belief, i am not going to make an anti-bush post. i've said enough already, done enough already, taken care of enough already.
i started work yesterday. it's easy. but very hot there.
i have to work tomorrow night at the gay bar. good times will be had by all.
i also have a shitload of meetings and more work to attend to, so if i get bitchy or snappy at anyone, don't think it's intentional. it's just me being stressed over all the damn midterm work and meetings and work to do. i apologize in advance.
comment. ♥