I'm tired of telling you something that you already know
Well... Its wednesday morning. Bored out of my mind. Got a huge ass assignment to do. That I don't want to do. But I have to because my grades have to be good this time around. I gotta get out of this school eventually. Well yesterday wasn't too much of anything. I came to school. Blow me it sucks. And Angel came home with me. We haven't ever hung out outside of school. I'm glad we got to hang out although she seemed kinda bored. But I don't want to place judgement on how she felt. Then Amp came over. So did Mitchum and Justin. Its weird like I told Amp this last night. I said I didn't like sitting in the basement that much anymore. Like I have better things to do. He agreed with me. I don't its just weird. Like what was once so amazing to me, this bond I had with people who I believed to be amazing. Aren't so amazing anymore. So standard and unexpected. It's like I don't want to be around anybody. And fuck, who cares if anyone takes offense, I don't. I can't spend my days looking out for people who either don't want it, don't respect it, or don't need it. I'm very overprotective over the people that I'm close to. And I apologize that for that at least once a fucking day. That shows I care. If I didn't I wouldn't want to kick everyones ass who fucks with my friends. And Jeannie gets pissed at me. But I can't help it. I've been like it all my life. I thought Evelyn was the one I was to look out for, which I do, but I can stop Jeannie from going through so much heartbreak and agony. She won't let me. I hate being defenseless. I hate it so fucking bad. Me, Jeannie, and my mom got into good discussion. Jeannie didn't think it was so good. But I did, it was good for her. She looked as though she was receiving some huge ass lecture and she wasn't. I just care. and was looking out for whats best for her. She's changing and I honestly, don't like what I'm seeing because shes started to fucking lie to me and deny shit and it's really erking me. So from now on I'm gonna subtract myself from what she does. If she wants to talk to me. Thats fucking great. I'll always be there to listen to her. But if not I'm not gonna pry it out of her like I'd be dying to do. But she'll need my ears and my shoulder sooner than she thinks. My mom just is so annoying she told me she was going to bed. Then after I start talking to Jeannie on my own time. My mom comes down the fucking stairs telling me what she thinks I should do. And she kept bringing Amp into it and I was like it's not even about that. Because it wasn't. And then right before she goes back up there she's like just keep talking to your boyfriend. Okay bitch, number 1 me and Jeannies conversation is none of your fucking business. Number 2. Stay the fuck in bed a prove a point. A number 3, my boyfriend is none of your fucking business either so leave us alone. Okay so onto explaining why the fuck I have a Richie Sambora picture on my journal today. Well it has to to do with the dream I had last night. It was so weird. I was at a Bon Jovi concert. And I was crying like I always do when I go to their shows. Pathetic? Yeah I know. But anyways, we had a lawn seating and there was this family and they like had brought patio furniture with them. And were sitting at a table on the lawn of the venue! Anywho... I feel this guy staring at me and making fun of me because I'm bawling my eyes out. And I walked up there and looked at him and I was like whats your problem with me. And hes like its so standard girls your age crying at a Bon jovi show and I was like I'm different I've been in love with them for 16 years. And He was just pissing me off. And I don't know why this was but Richie Sambora comes running off the stage with the double necked guitar (the picture just describes it to a tee) and smashes it over that dudes head. And then I woke up. It was fucking weird. But I'm out for accounting questions for individual study. haha.
SKATE OR DIE BITCHES
" I lost all faith in my god and his religion too. I told the angels they could sing their songs to someone new. I lost all trust in my friends, I watched my heart turn to stone. I thought that I was left to walk this wicked world alone" -Bon Jovi (Something to Believe in)