(no subject)

[xface__downx]

Oh what the fuck anyways, I'm sitting in the kitchen at quarter of 1, in the dark, with my head on the table thinking about how out of sync I've been with the rotation of earth lately and when I'm talking about the vast stretch of earth I guess I'm really talking about my life. Lying on my bed, I tried explaining myself to Alex- using weird metaphors about getting out of the shower that I'm sure made me sound like more of a mental dumbass then a sane person. But the point is I know why I've been feeling unlike myself, and its because I'm OUT OF MY SECURITY ZONE. It's like there's this sphere, or orb for example, and I've been spinning comfortably on its axis. All of the sudden the routine changes, out of bordom and discontentment with the level of happiness and trust in my life. So I'm shot out of the axis into a new one that lies a great distance from the other. I've left my security zone. And that's why I don't feel right and its not necessarily that this change is bad, it's just that its NEW. Now I'm going to stop with the run on sentences and half ass attempt to be deep. About the current reality...

Friday night-spent with musically cool and talented friends + strobe light + seizure christmas lights + High Fidelity + Dane Cook-was beautiful. Saturday night was even more beautiful. Alex Kenney is the most amazing person. He even puts up with me being a loser. I wish I had the guts to say half the things I feel-good and bad, but its like I get scared and nervous. I guess high levels of seriousness make me shy away. I'm fucked up and I need to take a walk or something.

ILOVEHIMILOVEHIMILOVEHIMILOVEHIMILOVEHIMILOVEHIMILOVEHIMILOVEHIMILOVEHIMILOVEHIMILOVEHIMILOVEHIMILOVEHIMILOVEHIMILOVEHIMILOVEHIMILOVEHIMILOVEHIM.