This week, we're doing a rerun, while I'm waiting on a friend to finish editing her podfic of "Ingenue" or for so-kiss-me-goodbye to complete "The Lambs," whichever comes first
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Did somebody say overthinking? Sounds like my jam!
I really enjoyed reading your comment, and I can't resist adding to it, or at least replying to it (whichever ends up being more accurate by the time I finish typing this). The boss stepped out for lunch and so I've a few minutes with which to, well, "waste time" (though literary merit discussions are never a waste IMO).
I felt that this piece was pretty well in character, or at least as IC as it could be considering the material with which the author had to work. Loss of memory and therefore a huge part of a person's identity makes for a difficult piece to write. I find it interesting, though, that you felt this was one of this author's more IC works.
Anyway, I enjoyed memory-returned Mulder being as you described: a wreck, paranoid, arrogant, self-centered, despairing, but also with a spark of hopefulness and a big fat tablespoon of ignorance. I got the impression throughout the series that he was pretty ignorant of his effect on other people to a certain degree, and by that I mean...he never did seem to understand how his choices affected others. In this story, for example, he's so excited about his own memories and remembering himself that he unwittingly leaves her in the dust; I don't think he was able to understand how much this hurt her. Or really even in what ways. This is definitely an instance where his psychology degree doesn't quite feel as if it fits...but again, the series never did let him break of out of his perpetual existence as a self-centered man, so in that way I guess it's quite IC/fitting.
[but RivkaT's alternate version, in which Scully gets her memories but Mulder doesn't, indicates some pretty deep trauma for the one regaining themselves completely as well]
Yes, I think this was very important. Seeing the flip side makes it easier to understand Mulder in the initial piece, I think, though Mulder existed before Scully in his work on the X-Files, and Scully comes in after the X-Files have become a thing. Because of this, it's not an equal experience, but it's not altogether different, either. Remembering all of that trauma--and having to remember it alone--would be hard. Mulder wants Scully back, Dana wants Bill back, and I think they both, deep down, want something solid and real again, having felt they had it twice (two different "lives", as themselves and their alter-egos) and lost it. The person who remembers, for example, Mulder, wants his former relationship to Scully back, and he wants Scully back, but I think having always (assuming a romantic attachment) wanted a relationship with Scully also, wants the best of both worlds: he wants his relationship to Scully and Dana to be one and the same.
But that's not something they'll ever have. He can only ever have Scully-as-Dana, and even then it's the past tense.
Anyway, I commented a bit more about their relationship and what this kind of situation does to it in my own comment, so I won't clutter this up further with that babbling. :P I want to add, however, that you made a good point with Mulder-as-Bill, and wanting in a sense to return to that persona. It was safe, he was probably, for the most part, happy...and now that he remembers he can't have anything he wants. Neither of them can. They're both left wanting things they can't have.
I really enjoyed reading your comment, and I can't resist adding to it, or at least replying to it (whichever ends up being more accurate by the time I finish typing this). The boss stepped out for lunch and so I've a few minutes with which to, well, "waste time" (though literary merit discussions are never a waste IMO).
I felt that this piece was pretty well in character, or at least as IC as it could be considering the material with which the author had to work. Loss of memory and therefore a huge part of a person's identity makes for a difficult piece to write. I find it interesting, though, that you felt this was one of this author's more IC works.
Anyway, I enjoyed memory-returned Mulder being as you described: a wreck, paranoid, arrogant, self-centered, despairing, but also with a spark of hopefulness and a big fat tablespoon of ignorance. I got the impression throughout the series that he was pretty ignorant of his effect on other people to a certain degree, and by that I mean...he never did seem to understand how his choices affected others. In this story, for example, he's so excited about his own memories and remembering himself that he unwittingly leaves her in the dust; I don't think he was able to understand how much this hurt her. Or really even in what ways. This is definitely an instance where his psychology degree doesn't quite feel as if it fits...but again, the series never did let him break of out of his perpetual existence as a self-centered man, so in that way I guess it's quite IC/fitting.
[but RivkaT's alternate version, in which Scully gets her memories but Mulder doesn't, indicates some pretty deep trauma for the one regaining themselves completely as well]
Yes, I think this was very important. Seeing the flip side makes it easier to understand Mulder in the initial piece, I think, though Mulder existed before Scully in his work on the X-Files, and Scully comes in after the X-Files have become a thing. Because of this, it's not an equal experience, but it's not altogether different, either. Remembering all of that trauma--and having to remember it alone--would be hard. Mulder wants Scully back, Dana wants Bill back, and I think they both, deep down, want something solid and real again, having felt they had it twice (two different "lives", as themselves and their alter-egos) and lost it. The person who remembers, for example, Mulder, wants his former relationship to Scully back, and he wants Scully back, but I think having always (assuming a romantic attachment) wanted a relationship with Scully also, wants the best of both worlds: he wants his relationship to Scully and Dana to be one and the same.
But that's not something they'll ever have. He can only ever have Scully-as-Dana, and even then it's the past tense.
Anyway, I commented a bit more about their relationship and what this kind of situation does to it in my own comment, so I won't clutter this up further with that babbling. :P I want to add, however, that you made a good point with Mulder-as-Bill, and wanting in a sense to return to that persona. It was safe, he was probably, for the most part, happy...and now that he remembers he can't have anything he wants. Neither of them can. They're both left wanting things they can't have.
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