"I see your face and it keeps me going. If I get lost, your light's gonna guide me."
Raaawr! :) *giggle*
Haha okay. That was random. Anywayssss.
Eh it's been a rough week, honestly. Mixed emotions about things, getting yelled at a lot by mom, just shit building up. It got so bad i cut again - guess it's not such a good thing I found that switchblade, eh Holly? *little chuckle* I won't have a new scar, I reopened an old cut. But. Yeah. Fucker kept bleeding for fucking ever >.> And Holly gave me a stern talking-to after I told her I had again.I'm tryin' for you now, babe. You're helping a lot, I hope you know :) I'm gonna start wearing a rubber band on my wrist again or something. Thanks for always listening to me bitch so often X'D
I think I mentioned in the last post that I went to a CWS game with Max on Tuesday; it was pretty fun. We were making fun of a lot of the players' names x'D It was almost like me and her reconnected in a way. It was nice. Haven't talked to her since lol but still, it was fun to hang out with her again.
She still hasn't started learning guitar >.> But it's fine. I'm okay just having Holly. It's probably almost better that way. I'm really more comfortable with Holly, actually. I can tell her, quite literally, EVERYTHING. And never feel weird or awkward about it. I feel like I'm bitching too much sometimes, yeah. But it's never like it's weird to tell her something, or like I think she'll hate me or think I'm gross for it. We both know a lot of each others' turn ons, from all our times when we're looking at pictures of David and Pierre and we're trying to make each other all frustrated x'D - well, at least SHE knows a lot of MINE. And I don't know if she's lying or not, but she said she was taking notes >.>
Ugh speaking of sexual frustration. David. Just. I cannooooot handle that boy. That lovely, lesbian, bassist of a boy x'D Between his lip ring and him thrusting at his bass and his gay little hat shit and his smile and his EVERYTHING. I'm just gonna explode XD Here, have some pictures of the darling man who is absolutely the love of my motherfucking LIFE. :D
Ain't he just the cutest, most precious little thing you ever saw? I can't get over how dang adorable and perfect he is. The last gif thing with the "Pouahh!", that's apparently how he laughs. He types it out on Twitter and errything. His typing is so fucking CUYHOOOOOT, dude! He uses a bunch of exclamation points and no spaces between the ex. points and the next sentence X'D I just want to cuddle him forever and be his best friend! And um *cough* OTHER things...if ya know what I mean ;D
All I've wanted today is a gig, man. I just want to play for an audience. I only know...like 8 songs completely, plus snippets of other songs that I've been working on. But hey, I could just play all 8 of those songs and be fine. I just. WANT to play for people. An audience. Sure I don't have a guitarist within distance now - I wish I lived near her or she lived here - but I'd still sub in a band or something. IIIII do not caaaare man. Just. Gig meh NOW, bruh.
Just gave a long pep talk to my guitarist since she was feeling blah and stuff. I made her cry D: I feel bad. But she seems to be a little more confident, maybe :3
OH. And she wrote this darling and lovely letter to me in her last journal entry:
"Dear Christie,
I love you and keep staying strong. I know we hit a little riff this week, but I feel like it only made us understand one another more. We're so attached for only talking seriously for a month or two, and that's fine with me. This band means the world, and I need you to have your level head on your shoulders like always. Your song writing and bass playing is only going to get better. We can do this, even if we think we can't. We're going to be perfect, you and I. And everyone else can suck it. I have all the belief and faith in the world in you.
Love Holly."
Now, lemme return this little gesture :)
Dear Holly,
I love you too, and you better be doing the same. We did, and I guess you could say we did tonight too - hence the pep talk. But we're learning how each other works and what gets to us and everything. Hell, I'm learning more about myself. In this last month or however long it's been, I've been a little happier for the most part and I've grown more confident. And it's thanks to you and all the faith you've put in me. I'm so glad I can give you this. There's nobody I'd rather have a band with at this point. You're it - it feels so right to talk about a band with you and all the shit we're gonna accomplish. Your guitar skills are only gonna improve more and more as time goes on. I know you can do it. We ARE gonna be perfect. We're gonna rock the industry and it won't know what the fuck hit it. I love you and care about you more than anybody else in the entire fucking world and I'll do absolutely anything to make sure you're happy in the future, babe.
Love, Christie.
MY MOTHERFUCKING NEIGHBOR. Ugh. She was setting off a shitload of fireworks right outside my house - which is her house too since it's a townhome y'know. I JUMPED LIKE FUCKING 5 FEET IN THE AIR AT SOME OF THEM, I SWEEEEAR. I was ready to go out there and chop her hot little mohawk shit off her head >.> Haha just kidding, I love my neighbor too much to do that! XD
AND FYI, HOLLY, FIREWORKS ARE O N L Y FOR CELEBRATING IMPORTANT SHIT. NOT SOMETHING STUPID LIKE..UH..."I JUST WIPED MY ASS WITH THE NON-DOMINANT HAND FOR THE FIRST TIME" OR SOME SHIT. OKAY? OKAY GOOD. I swear if I wake up to the sound of fireworks ON OUR TOUR BUS I will have to punch you. That is, IF WE'RE STILL FUCKING ALIIIIVE.
Haha I love my guitarist, can't you tell? :D<3
xoxoxo
~Christie
P.S. Oh and also, I'm starting a Simple Plan 30 Day Challenge, which I stole from my guitarist! XD Here's day unooo!
Day 1
- First Simple Plan Song You Ever Heard
I don't remember the very first one I heard - though it was probably I'd Do Anything. Only I didn't know it was them at the time, lol. But the first one I heard completely knowing it was Simple Plan was probably Jet Lag, thanks to Holly :3
Haha okay. That was random. Anywayssss.
Eh it's been a rough week, honestly. Mixed emotions about things, getting yelled at a lot by mom, just shit building up. It got so bad i cut again - guess it's not such a good thing I found that switchblade, eh Holly? *little chuckle* I won't have a new scar, I reopened an old cut. But. Yeah. Fucker kept bleeding for fucking ever >.> And Holly gave me a stern talking-to after I told her I had again.I'm tryin' for you now, babe. You're helping a lot, I hope you know :) I'm gonna start wearing a rubber band on my wrist again or something. Thanks for always listening to me bitch so often X'D
I think I mentioned in the last post that I went to a CWS game with Max on Tuesday; it was pretty fun. We were making fun of a lot of the players' names x'D It was almost like me and her reconnected in a way. It was nice. Haven't talked to her since lol but still, it was fun to hang out with her again.
She still hasn't started learning guitar >.> But it's fine. I'm okay just having Holly. It's probably almost better that way. I'm really more comfortable with Holly, actually. I can tell her, quite literally, EVERYTHING. And never feel weird or awkward about it. I feel like I'm bitching too much sometimes, yeah. But it's never like it's weird to tell her something, or like I think she'll hate me or think I'm gross for it. We both know a lot of each others' turn ons, from all our times when we're looking at pictures of David and Pierre and we're trying to make each other all frustrated x'D - well, at least SHE knows a lot of MINE. And I don't know if she's lying or not, but she said she was taking notes >.>
Ugh speaking of sexual frustration. David. Just. I cannooooot handle that boy. That lovely, lesbian, bassist of a boy x'D Between his lip ring and him thrusting at his bass and his gay little hat shit and his smile and his EVERYTHING. I'm just gonna explode XD Here, have some pictures of the darling man who is absolutely the love of my motherfucking LIFE. :D
Ain't he just the cutest, most precious little thing you ever saw? I can't get over how dang adorable and perfect he is. The last gif thing with the "Pouahh!", that's apparently how he laughs. He types it out on Twitter and errything. His typing is so fucking CUYHOOOOOT, dude! He uses a bunch of exclamation points and no spaces between the ex. points and the next sentence X'D I just want to cuddle him forever and be his best friend! And um *cough* OTHER things...if ya know what I mean ;D
All I've wanted today is a gig, man. I just want to play for an audience. I only know...like 8 songs completely, plus snippets of other songs that I've been working on. But hey, I could just play all 8 of those songs and be fine. I just. WANT to play for people. An audience. Sure I don't have a guitarist within distance now - I wish I lived near her or she lived here - but I'd still sub in a band or something. IIIII do not caaaare man. Just. Gig meh NOW, bruh.
Just gave a long pep talk to my guitarist since she was feeling blah and stuff. I made her cry D: I feel bad. But she seems to be a little more confident, maybe :3
OH. And she wrote this darling and lovely letter to me in her last journal entry:
"Dear Christie,
I love you and keep staying strong. I know we hit a little riff this week, but I feel like it only made us understand one another more. We're so attached for only talking seriously for a month or two, and that's fine with me. This band means the world, and I need you to have your level head on your shoulders like always. Your song writing and bass playing is only going to get better. We can do this, even if we think we can't. We're going to be perfect, you and I. And everyone else can suck it. I have all the belief and faith in the world in you.
Love Holly."
Now, lemme return this little gesture :)
Dear Holly,
I love you too, and you better be doing the same. We did, and I guess you could say we did tonight too - hence the pep talk. But we're learning how each other works and what gets to us and everything. Hell, I'm learning more about myself. In this last month or however long it's been, I've been a little happier for the most part and I've grown more confident. And it's thanks to you and all the faith you've put in me. I'm so glad I can give you this. There's nobody I'd rather have a band with at this point. You're it - it feels so right to talk about a band with you and all the shit we're gonna accomplish. Your guitar skills are only gonna improve more and more as time goes on. I know you can do it. We ARE gonna be perfect. We're gonna rock the industry and it won't know what the fuck hit it. I love you and care about you more than anybody else in the entire fucking world and I'll do absolutely anything to make sure you're happy in the future, babe.
Love, Christie.
MY MOTHERFUCKING NEIGHBOR. Ugh. She was setting off a shitload of fireworks right outside my house - which is her house too since it's a townhome y'know. I JUMPED LIKE FUCKING 5 FEET IN THE AIR AT SOME OF THEM, I SWEEEEAR. I was ready to go out there and chop her hot little mohawk shit off her head >.> Haha just kidding, I love my neighbor too much to do that! XD
AND FYI, HOLLY, FIREWORKS ARE O N L Y FOR CELEBRATING IMPORTANT SHIT. NOT SOMETHING STUPID LIKE..UH..."I JUST WIPED MY ASS WITH THE NON-DOMINANT HAND FOR THE FIRST TIME" OR SOME SHIT. OKAY? OKAY GOOD. I swear if I wake up to the sound of fireworks ON OUR TOUR BUS I will have to punch you. That is, IF WE'RE STILL FUCKING ALIIIIVE.
Haha I love my guitarist, can't you tell? :D<3
xoxoxo
~Christie
P.S. Oh and also, I'm starting a Simple Plan 30 Day Challenge, which I stole from my guitarist! XD Here's day unooo!
Day 1
- First Simple Plan Song You Ever Heard
I don't remember the very first one I heard - though it was probably I'd Do Anything. Only I didn't know it was them at the time, lol. But the first one I heard completely knowing it was Simple Plan was probably Jet Lag, thanks to Holly :3