I Never Told You What I Do For a Living
Title: I Never Told You What I Do For a Living (part 4/?)
Pairing: AI-Era!Billie/Revenge-Era!Gerard
Rating; PG13?
Author: Christie
Disclaimer: Don't own either of them, don't own Pirates of the Caribbean, don't own anythin' but the plot and words behind the cut.
I guess I was more drained than I’d originally thought, because next thing I know I’m waking up to a dark room. The only light comes from the small window on the far wall, and it’s not really making much of a difference anyway.
I’m on my side, and the blanket is over me. I don’t remember doing this for myself, so I assume Gerard did. He’s behind me, and I hear his soft breathing. I sense that he’s watching me.
Then I notice something else…he’s brushing his hands through my hair slowly. It’s…it’s really soothing. I feel so calm, but I’m freaking out at the same time. Great combination, right?
Without really meaning to, I let out a contented sigh and snuggle deeper into the covers. I think I manage to move about an inch closer to Gerard, and now his knee is pressed warmly against my back.
He smiles. I don’t see it, obviously. But I can just tell that he is. He pats my head and then moves his hand to my shoulder, rubbing his thumb along my arm slowly.
I keep my breathing steady to make him believe I’m still asleep. I…I like this feeling. The feeling of his knee against me, his fingers stroking my arm or twirling my messy hair…it’s relaxing.
I don’t know why he’s being so motherly, so protective. Well, I mean he has always been like this, caring about people and wanting to help and be there for them. But this is…different, somehow. I’ve never seen Gerard like this, never experienced him being so tender and…and loving.
It’s new to me, but…nice.
I decide to turn around, mostly because my arm is going numb. Then I look up at him and smile sleepily, pretending that I’m unaware of the arm he has wrapped guardedly around me. A red tinge creeps up Gerard’s neck and he sits up anyway, after stroking my face gently one last time.
“You awake?” I blink a few times and stretch, then lift myself up on my elbows.
“Yeah…shit, how long was I asleep?”
“Pretty much all day.” He shrugs. “Hey, don’t worry about it, Billie.” He adds as he sees my face fall.
“But…” I don’t know what to say. It’s finally sinking in that I kinda ruined his movie day, and I feel bad about it. “Fuck, I’m sorry. When’d I even fall asleep? And…how?” I’m really confused at this point, because just last night I’d been suffering from insomnia, and then I fall asleep so easily when my friend wants to watch a couple movies with me?
“’bout halfway through the first movie. And, well, I dunno. I just looked over to ask you something and you were out like a light.” He smiled. “Don’t worry about it though, it’s okay. It looked to me like you needed the rest, so I just moved you to get you more comfortable.”
“Um…thanks, Gee. Hey, was…was your arm around me” I ask, though I know it was. I just…well, I actually don’t know why I did. His face flushed again and he nodded.
“It seemed to help you sleep. You fidgeted a lot unless I was messing with your hair or something.” He pauses and clears his throat. “That’s not…that’s not weird for you, is it?
“No, trust me, it’s not. With my job you get in much worse situations than that, lemme tell ya.” I mutter, shaking my head.
“Okay, goo-wait, what?” his tone changes from relieved to confused in a second flat.
“Huh? Shit, what’d I say?” I feel my eyes bulging out of my head, not completely sure what had just come out of my mouth.
“You…umm, what did you say your job is again?”
“A…a visiting house aid…?” I answer slowly. I don’t know if he’s buying it anymore.
“No. Your real job, Billie Joe. What do you really do?” Gerard’s staring at me, waiting for a response. It looks like he wants me to tell the truth, but is afraid of what I could say.
“Well…uhh…you see…like I said, money’s tight, Gerard…it’s not easy for me to get a job, okay?” I’m jumping around with incomplete sentences, not sure if I’m making sense.
“Bills…are…are you telling me…what are you implying?”
“I…fuck, I’m sorry, Gerard. You’re probably gonna be really fuckin’ grossed out now. Yeah, I’m a fucking prostitute. Your best friend is whoring himself out to random strangers for money. What else do you fucking want me to say?” I sigh and pull my knees up to my chest, suddenly feeling unclean and impure. Not that I ever was either of those positives.
“Bill…if…if you needed money, you could have asked me or something. How long’s this been going on?” I can tell he doesn’t know whether he should be shocked, disgusted, amused, or appalled by my answer.
“A few months. Actually…almost a year.”
He just keeps looking at me. Gerard has those eyes that just seem to…seem to kind of watch. Observe. See through things, when he’s actually paying attention or when you have your guard down.
“I would have helped. I have money, Billie.” He repeats himself. He probably has a shitload of stuff he wants to tell me. How stupid I am, how desperate I seem. I don’t know why he doesn’t just explode on me already.
“I know you do, Gerard. I just don’t like taking other peoples’ money. Especially not from my friends. Shit, I’m sorry though. But, y’know, I ain’t gonna stop.” I look away as he grimaces. “I have regulars. They’ll be pissed as hell if I just stop letting them come over. Then I’ll have people out to kill me.” I’ve suddenly become very interested in the chipped paint of my thumb nail. I can’t look at him. I’m not really ashamed, just…annoyed that he found out this way. It’s not fair to me, or to my friend.
“God damn it, Beej.” He punches the bed and I jump. His voice is so quiet but so powerful, full of anger, disappointment, and helplessness.
All aimed at none other than me, Billie WHORE Armstrong.
Pairing: AI-Era!Billie/Revenge-Era!Gerard
Rating; PG13?
Author: Christie
Disclaimer: Don't own either of them, don't own Pirates of the Caribbean, don't own anythin' but the plot and words behind the cut.
I guess I was more drained than I’d originally thought, because next thing I know I’m waking up to a dark room. The only light comes from the small window on the far wall, and it’s not really making much of a difference anyway.
I’m on my side, and the blanket is over me. I don’t remember doing this for myself, so I assume Gerard did. He’s behind me, and I hear his soft breathing. I sense that he’s watching me.
Then I notice something else…he’s brushing his hands through my hair slowly. It’s…it’s really soothing. I feel so calm, but I’m freaking out at the same time. Great combination, right?
Without really meaning to, I let out a contented sigh and snuggle deeper into the covers. I think I manage to move about an inch closer to Gerard, and now his knee is pressed warmly against my back.
He smiles. I don’t see it, obviously. But I can just tell that he is. He pats my head and then moves his hand to my shoulder, rubbing his thumb along my arm slowly.
I keep my breathing steady to make him believe I’m still asleep. I…I like this feeling. The feeling of his knee against me, his fingers stroking my arm or twirling my messy hair…it’s relaxing.
I don’t know why he’s being so motherly, so protective. Well, I mean he has always been like this, caring about people and wanting to help and be there for them. But this is…different, somehow. I’ve never seen Gerard like this, never experienced him being so tender and…and loving.
It’s new to me, but…nice.
I decide to turn around, mostly because my arm is going numb. Then I look up at him and smile sleepily, pretending that I’m unaware of the arm he has wrapped guardedly around me. A red tinge creeps up Gerard’s neck and he sits up anyway, after stroking my face gently one last time.
“You awake?” I blink a few times and stretch, then lift myself up on my elbows.
“Yeah…shit, how long was I asleep?”
“Pretty much all day.” He shrugs. “Hey, don’t worry about it, Billie.” He adds as he sees my face fall.
“But…” I don’t know what to say. It’s finally sinking in that I kinda ruined his movie day, and I feel bad about it. “Fuck, I’m sorry. When’d I even fall asleep? And…how?” I’m really confused at this point, because just last night I’d been suffering from insomnia, and then I fall asleep so easily when my friend wants to watch a couple movies with me?
“’bout halfway through the first movie. And, well, I dunno. I just looked over to ask you something and you were out like a light.” He smiled. “Don’t worry about it though, it’s okay. It looked to me like you needed the rest, so I just moved you to get you more comfortable.”
“Um…thanks, Gee. Hey, was…was your arm around me” I ask, though I know it was. I just…well, I actually don’t know why I did. His face flushed again and he nodded.
“It seemed to help you sleep. You fidgeted a lot unless I was messing with your hair or something.” He pauses and clears his throat. “That’s not…that’s not weird for you, is it?
“No, trust me, it’s not. With my job you get in much worse situations than that, lemme tell ya.” I mutter, shaking my head.
“Okay, goo-wait, what?” his tone changes from relieved to confused in a second flat.
“Huh? Shit, what’d I say?” I feel my eyes bulging out of my head, not completely sure what had just come out of my mouth.
“You…umm, what did you say your job is again?”
“A…a visiting house aid…?” I answer slowly. I don’t know if he’s buying it anymore.
“No. Your real job, Billie Joe. What do you really do?” Gerard’s staring at me, waiting for a response. It looks like he wants me to tell the truth, but is afraid of what I could say.
“Well…uhh…you see…like I said, money’s tight, Gerard…it’s not easy for me to get a job, okay?” I’m jumping around with incomplete sentences, not sure if I’m making sense.
“Bills…are…are you telling me…what are you implying?”
“I…fuck, I’m sorry, Gerard. You’re probably gonna be really fuckin’ grossed out now. Yeah, I’m a fucking prostitute. Your best friend is whoring himself out to random strangers for money. What else do you fucking want me to say?” I sigh and pull my knees up to my chest, suddenly feeling unclean and impure. Not that I ever was either of those positives.
“Bill…if…if you needed money, you could have asked me or something. How long’s this been going on?” I can tell he doesn’t know whether he should be shocked, disgusted, amused, or appalled by my answer.
“A few months. Actually…almost a year.”
He just keeps looking at me. Gerard has those eyes that just seem to…seem to kind of watch. Observe. See through things, when he’s actually paying attention or when you have your guard down.
“I would have helped. I have money, Billie.” He repeats himself. He probably has a shitload of stuff he wants to tell me. How stupid I am, how desperate I seem. I don’t know why he doesn’t just explode on me already.
“I know you do, Gerard. I just don’t like taking other peoples’ money. Especially not from my friends. Shit, I’m sorry though. But, y’know, I ain’t gonna stop.” I look away as he grimaces. “I have regulars. They’ll be pissed as hell if I just stop letting them come over. Then I’ll have people out to kill me.” I’ve suddenly become very interested in the chipped paint of my thumb nail. I can’t look at him. I’m not really ashamed, just…annoyed that he found out this way. It’s not fair to me, or to my friend.
“God damn it, Beej.” He punches the bed and I jump. His voice is so quiet but so powerful, full of anger, disappointment, and helplessness.
All aimed at none other than me, Billie WHORE Armstrong.