-*I feel so mad, feel so angry, feel so caloused, so lost confused again... Let's start over*-
I've seriously had two of the worst days ever. All my plans have been fucked and I don't know what to do with myself. I'm so pissed at every little thing and so many people. I want a new start of everything. People are all like "Aww what's wrong?" and I'm always like NOTHiNG. Or they're like "Are you ok?" And I tell them "Yes." I'm fucking lying through my teeth. I can't take it any longer. I got into a huge fight with my parents tonight over the most rediculus thing ever. I'm supposed to be at the SoCo / Rx Bandits show right now but guess where I am? Here sitting in my basement like a loser at home because every plan I had for that has been broken when I've planned on going to this show for the past month and a half. My mom just screamed at me to go to my room and said she was taking Jenna home. I just went up there and sat on my bed and cried. Yeah, I cried. It sucks. I hate crying, or admiting that I cried over something. It's just one of those things that I just don't tell people. I don't know why. I look like shit right now and I feel like shit and I just want to take away Thursday and today and start over. I wish I could move back to Maryland all over and start over THEN. Yeah, that's what I need. I seriously don't know what to do. I'm fucking lost and I have no clue what the fuck is going on. I can't take any of this bullshit anymore. The only thing I have to look foward to is seeing Jackie tomorrow. She's the only person that's so much like me and she just gets me, ya know? I could seriously tell her anything and don't have to worry about being judged, bitched at, or any stupid drama bullshit.