Friends Only Unfortunately
Sorry kids, I know some of you like to come here just to read. Like it says, add me if you want to be able to read.
A Letter to you
Leah: I want to thank you for being there for me. I know sometimes (*allright, alot of the time*) I complain, but thanks for being there and listening to me and trying to understand. I know it's difficult having me as a friend.
Meagan: I'd like to say the same thing to you as I said to Leah. You have known me since last year, and I know without you I'd have some pretty tough times by myself.
Jamie: You told me to leave you alone. And you're right. It IS for my own good. You messed with my head, my heart, dragged me back in when I thought I was done... You trash me and don't even know what you're throwing away. You don't take advantage of the good things that are there right in front of you. I suppose that hurt the most. If you want to talk to me, you know where to find me.
Daniella: You are one of the coolest chicas I know. Thanks for everything you've done, the odd phone calls, the odd instant messages, the just oddity of it all! It's too great and you bring a smile to my face in the worst situations.
Heather: I'm glad you and I got over whatever stupid ass differences we had so we could be friends... imagine if we had never talked...
Jon: thank you for every converstation, every afternoon after school, every smile, and everything you've done to help make my life just alittle easier.
Andrea: You all would only be so lucky to know and be friends with this chick.
More comments about YOU later. Watch this space for updates.
I had some thoughts about this, and really, I decided it needed to be in a space all into itself. I suppose its bad for me to write this, but I've decided that the next guy I date is going to have the following qualities-
He's not going to make fun of me because of the music I listen to. Or belittle it. And everyonce and awhile, he'll actually listen to it to humor me.
If we're at a show, and I can't see, he'll make me stand infront of him or give me his seat so I can see. This includes Movies, Plays, watching movies at home, etc.
If I don't look good one day, or if he doesn't like something I'm wearing, (*Ex. a shirt looks bad on me and I don't know it*) he'll tell me instead of letting me walk around like I'm the best bitch at school.
He'll call. I won't have to ask him to call, and he won't call all the time, but he'll call everyonce and awhile.
He'll be able to tell when to give me space! If I'm in a bitchy mood and really have a look on my face like I want to choke someone, or if I respond in 'yes' or 'no' answers, he'll kiss me on the cheek and tell me he'll see me later.
He'll invite me over to his house just to hang out. This means saying hi to his parents, watching a movie, playing a board game, taking a walk, whatever. I don't want to be the only one that invites people over to hang out. After awhile it makes me feel like I'm not good enough.
He'll ask me if I want to hang out with him and his friends. If his friends are getting together, to drink/hang out/etc. with other chicas there, I wanna be invited. I don't want to have to hear about it the morning after.
He'll ask me how I'm doing! Ask me about what I did after school, probe my mind, MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I'M WORTH GETTING TO KNOW! I know I'll ask alot of questions about him, so I want to be asked questions too. If I go out to the movies with Meagan or Leah, I want to be asked what I saw and was it any good. Not just "So what did you do this weekend?" NOT GOOD ENOUGH!
It would be nice if he could atleast attempt to get along with my friends.
Limit the words/phrases "bastard" and "That's gay" or "What a fag". That really offends me.
He will respect for what I stand for. If I say I don't want sex until marriage, I mean, no sex until marriage. No ifs, ands, or buts. I don't fucking care if you think I'm prude, it's my body, and It is used how I say its used.
If I say smoking ciggs is bad one day and the next have a cigg dangling out of my mouth I don't want him to call me a hypocrite. If I am a hypocrite (*which I know I am*) he'll just have to get over it.
There's this thing called MUSIC. And an even better thing, called SCREAMO. He HAS to listen to both. AND have an opinion. I don't think I could stand going out with a guy who didn't like Poison the Well. Sorry, I'd try to get over it if I really liked the guy, but if he detests them and says bad things, it's over and I shouldn't have even tried.
My hair is MY HAIR. If he doesn't like what I've done to it, I don't want to date him anyway.
If I'm online and haven't said hello in the first five minutes he's been online, he better IM me and say hello first. After awhile initiating conversation gets really tiring.
I like being protected. It'd be nice if he felt protective of me.
To quote Jeff Foxworthy "#1 Rule In Marriage: If She Ain't Happy, YOU Ain't Happy." Same applies with a relationship with me.
If I say I can't hang out, He won't bug me about it and ask me to ask my parents. If my step-dad says I can't hang out I CAN'T HANG OUT! Get it through your thick skull!
My Step Dad is law, if he says something, it is the law.
He'll pay for movie tickets, I'll Pay for snacks. Simple as that.
He will let me hang out with my friends. God forbid I don't spend every weekend with him.
He'll say EXACTLY at one point or another: "Cinnamon, I really like you. And nothing you can say or do is going to change that. You can't tell me I don't like you, don't try and tell yourself otherwise, because I honestly like you."
He'll read Demon in My View by Amelia Atwater Rhodes and he'll to tell me what he honestly thinks about it
He'll watch my favorite movies (with me) or he'll take me to see a movie I wanted to see, and not complain about it.
He and I can have intelligent conversations. Like, Is "The Grapes of Wrath" actually a staple of American Lit.
He will READ. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
Checking up on my journal/website every once and awhile is a plus!
That's all I could think of.
Post anything that you want (in comments), and post it anonymously. Anything. A story, a secret, a confession, a fear, a love -- anything. I would like it to be what you think of me, though, mostly. Be sure to post anonymously and honestly. Post twice if you'd like. Then, put this in your LJ to see what your friends (and perhaps others who you don't even realize read your LJ) have to say.
I wont go to the trouble of trying to find out who commented, as in IP addresses and such, so just type your mind, kids.