oh, how i missed myself (note the sarcasm.....)
i havent been this depressed in a very long time.
the one thing that could put me in the better mood, no matter what was going on, has left me.
i was very hysterical last night, and i couldnt calm myself down.
(thank you to kelly for finally calming me down a little).
two nights in a row i ended up crying myself to sleep.....
how pathetic.
i just find it funny how the two reasons are so different.
the first night, it was because i missed her.
last night, it was because i realized i wasnt needed.
it's a strange feeling to find out that someone doesnt need you
in the same sense that you need them.
i got the "just be friends for awhile" thing....
which i know basically translates to "i'll keep you as an option until i find someone better"
and yes, i know some of you will tell me "i told you this would happen",
and i will admit that those of you are right.
i will admit that after a month, i'm right back to where i was before:
depressed and alone.
i dont even want to come back home to issaquah.
there's nothing (okay, i guess i should say "little") for me there anymore.
i've started the thoughts of moving again.
just debating the pros and cons.
who knows what i'll do.
all i know is that my life isnt going to be the same for a long time.
the one thing that could put me in the better mood, no matter what was going on, has left me.
i was very hysterical last night, and i couldnt calm myself down.
(thank you to kelly for finally calming me down a little).
two nights in a row i ended up crying myself to sleep.....
how pathetic.
i just find it funny how the two reasons are so different.
the first night, it was because i missed her.
last night, it was because i realized i wasnt needed.
it's a strange feeling to find out that someone doesnt need you
in the same sense that you need them.
i got the "just be friends for awhile" thing....
which i know basically translates to "i'll keep you as an option until i find someone better"
and yes, i know some of you will tell me "i told you this would happen",
and i will admit that those of you are right.
i will admit that after a month, i'm right back to where i was before:
depressed and alone.
i dont even want to come back home to issaquah.
there's nothing (okay, i guess i should say "little") for me there anymore.
i've started the thoughts of moving again.
just debating the pros and cons.
who knows what i'll do.
all i know is that my life isnt going to be the same for a long time.