Cheatable Entries
Part I Chapter I
--This is the story of a young man who was born very, very old.
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--I don't think I actually remember being born, but I seem to recall a dramatic change in the way I was hearing sounds at one point in my life. I don't remember, and it is too simple to explain, but I know my self-awareness started before I opened my eyes (see "The Artesan's Apex" on this site).
--Of my earliest, confirmed memory I am told that I was 11 months old - perhaps younger. I am playing with paper dolls, with my mother, when my brother comes in from school. He is six years older than I and wishes to teach me everything.
--He and I are left alone for a moment, so he asks if I want to be a big boy like him. Of course I do, so I commit to his ideal that dolls are for girls.
--When Mama returns I tell her that I am through with dolls, that I want to be a big boy like my brother. After that, everything becomes a dingy gray. I try to recall what happened, but at the same time I am trying not to recall what happened.
--I do have an earlier, non-confirmed memory of lying on a blanket while Mama hung up clothes. I deeply remember trying to figure out how to use these things I apparently had control of: my hands, no doubt. I enjoyed the color of the sky and found it slightly disturbing that I could not fix my eyes on anything in it. It enthralled me that there was nothing to single out about it, other than the fact that it was not anything else and it was blue.
--The easiest memories are of the migraines and the beatings, but I do find many, very appealing times.
--There was the first moment that I knew myself to be a seperate entity from the universe that I observed, but that wasn't until I was seven. I will come to that later in this story. It is a bit more complicated than what can be said in a few sentences.
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--Thanks to my dog, Gypsy, I was an early walker, or should I say runner. I never really walked. I ran all the time. I always liked to GO(!). When Daddy told me she died (I was three) I cried all day long. I don't think I've ever bonded with another animal quite the same since.
--My brother and I were definitely bonded, but a chasm was carved between us by the favoritism Mama had for me. She had a nasty habit of forcing me to watch her torture my brother.
--This excited her. I have forgiven her. My brother cannot. Neither of us can ever forget. There is nothing more I can do.
--I can only know what I know, but I have been cursed by what has been revealed to me. There is far more than I could ever say. Some things should not be known by man.
--This is the story of a young man who was born very, very old.
---------------------------------------------
--I don't think I actually remember being born, but I seem to recall a dramatic change in the way I was hearing sounds at one point in my life. I don't remember, and it is too simple to explain, but I know my self-awareness started before I opened my eyes (see "The Artesan's Apex" on this site).
--Of my earliest, confirmed memory I am told that I was 11 months old - perhaps younger. I am playing with paper dolls, with my mother, when my brother comes in from school. He is six years older than I and wishes to teach me everything.
--He and I are left alone for a moment, so he asks if I want to be a big boy like him. Of course I do, so I commit to his ideal that dolls are for girls.
--When Mama returns I tell her that I am through with dolls, that I want to be a big boy like my brother. After that, everything becomes a dingy gray. I try to recall what happened, but at the same time I am trying not to recall what happened.
--I do have an earlier, non-confirmed memory of lying on a blanket while Mama hung up clothes. I deeply remember trying to figure out how to use these things I apparently had control of: my hands, no doubt. I enjoyed the color of the sky and found it slightly disturbing that I could not fix my eyes on anything in it. It enthralled me that there was nothing to single out about it, other than the fact that it was not anything else and it was blue.
--The easiest memories are of the migraines and the beatings, but I do find many, very appealing times.
--There was the first moment that I knew myself to be a seperate entity from the universe that I observed, but that wasn't until I was seven. I will come to that later in this story. It is a bit more complicated than what can be said in a few sentences.
---------------------------------------------
--Thanks to my dog, Gypsy, I was an early walker, or should I say runner. I never really walked. I ran all the time. I always liked to GO(!). When Daddy told me she died (I was three) I cried all day long. I don't think I've ever bonded with another animal quite the same since.
--My brother and I were definitely bonded, but a chasm was carved between us by the favoritism Mama had for me. She had a nasty habit of forcing me to watch her torture my brother.
--This excited her. I have forgiven her. My brother cannot. Neither of us can ever forget. There is nothing more I can do.
--I can only know what I know, but I have been cursed by what has been revealed to me. There is far more than I could ever say. Some things should not be known by man.