So much I dont know
Theres so much I don't know about things around here. I look at my family and can't help but think of those movies, like the Griswolds Christmas Vacation, the families torn apart and divided because of petty squabbles and past events, separated by class perhaps? What the fuck is class? one side has money, the other does'nt.. hatred? jealousy? It sickens me to think the act they put on is a mask because we were kids.. I look now, with older eyes and I can see the differences, the attacks.. even my parents take sides, maybe thats what pulled them apart? because they are apart now.. I dont know why.. I dont think I want to know either. I dont want to know why in little more than a week the family was divided, if only by a mile or so, the emotional distance is huge. I dont want to know why dad left. I dont want to know why mom wants to sell the house because she said it reminds her too much of dad. I dont know what happened after 18 years of setting ourselves up, the house, the things we own.. it all seems so pointless now, like we have no direction. I dont want that, I want to go somewhere, feel something different, I've always wanted to, just now i have more reason than ever.
What is there left to think when you know the love that bought you into life has gone? What am I to feel now?
I wanna say thanks to Liz for always being there to talk to and for being so understanding. Oh, and for putting up with me!
What is there left to think when you know the love that bought you into life has gone? What am I to feel now?
I wanna say thanks to Liz for always being there to talk to and for being so understanding. Oh, and for putting up with me!