April Fools

[xerxesalchemist]

Stop. Calling.

Comments

[if_she_hollers]

But like, we haven't talked in so long . . .

1/idk

[xerxesalchemist]

[Wait.]

2/3

[xerxesalchemist]

[What is she doing on the phone? She was a drone thirty seconds ago.]

3/3

[xerxesalchemist]

Ini?

[if_she_hollers]

Like, no way. Mimi. Totally not denying it anymore. Gosh, you like, hanging in there alright? Prison's been such a bummer . . . Totally wish I could go back.

[xerxesalchemist]

You're not in Mayfield?

[He'll... deal with the Ini/Mimi thing later. And if the prison she's in is anything like the ones back home, Mayfield would be a better place.]

[if_she_hollers]

Like, no way. As much as I wish I was, I'll be stuck here for a while. Go and give my drone a good kick in the butt for me or something.

[xerxesalchemist]

YOU GOT DRONED RIGHT BEFORE VALENTINE'S DAY!

[Guess who isn't happy about that one.]

[if_she_hollers]

Gosh. Like, what happened? Did you guys like, have some good clean fun?

[xerxesalchemist]

No.

[if_she_hollers]

Awww. But like, still. I hope you're like, enjoying yourself. You'll definitely miss it once you have to leave.

[xerxesalchemist]

[A pause. She's not here, so...]

I'm not planning on leaving.

[if_she_hollers]

. . . You don't want to leave, either? Hm. Well, I can't say I blame you. It was pretty awesome while it lasted.

[xerxesalchemist]

It's better than what's waiting for me back home.

[if_she_hollers]

Same deal here. You might as well know now -- I'm not sure I ever told you straight out. Convicted for murder. Waiting to see whether or not I'm going on death row. You got a real winner of a wife, huh?

What is it for you?

[xerxesalchemist]

I go home, and eventually kill every single person in my country.