This is Different
Hello.
Long time no see. I know I always say that, but it’s been fourteen years since I last wrote anything here. Hell, it’s been nineteen years since I first created this thing.
As usual, I decided to reread everything I’ve written in the past. It was hard, to say the least. A lot of it was just pure cringe. I mean, you should try reading something you wrote at fourteen and then read it at thirty-three. You’re going to cringe at least once.
It was also painful going through it. I’ve changed a lot since the genesis of this journal. I saw a lot of toxic traits in myself that I’m not exactly proud of. I was definitely coming off as a “nice guy” in a lot of my updates. Remembering my mentality when writing some of these entries… I’m pretty sure I was two steps away from becoming a fuckin’ incel.
A lot of things were interesting to go through, however. I can see signs of my depression and anxiety. There was even an entry where I said something like, “I think there’s something wrong with me.” I wish I had taken myself more seriously back then.
Why am I coming back to my Livejournal now? Well, I’m pretty annoyed by Twitter and Facebook. Elon Musk is destroying the former; Facebook is full of people just sharing false information. So, I wanted to come back to an old friend. One that’s surprisingly still around. (Like, did you know there’s an app?? Whoa!)
I also hear it’s good for your mental health to journal. I’ll mostly be writing in this for myself. I don’t have an audience anymore. No one’s on LJ anymore. No one else will read this. That’s fine. And if my old friends do happen to see this, that’s fine too.
We’ll see if I take the time to actually update this like I want. My attention span doesn’t usually let me, but who knows? I do have a lot to write about after all. I didn’t even really get into how things are in 2022. Like, did you know I might have ADHD? And I might have had it this whole time!? But that’s for another day.