What the fuck was I thinking?
Thinking back I can remember my feelings at my first sight of college: Potsdam Fall 2006. Excited and terrified. Unexplainable feeling of freedom and fear. I felt that once more when I transferred to New Paltz, but I had already been in college for nearly two years and I had become independent in that time. It was far more difficult than I first imagined because being an upperclass man everyone knew each other and I was the odd man out. When I did make friends though it was beautiful: it was a complete feeling of being in the right place at the right time for once in my life. That's how I feel now. Even though I'm so far from home, even though I'm far from the familiar, far from my family, I feel oddly close to everyone and everything in my life. Scotland is the most breathtaking, beautiful, strange and fun place I've ever had the honor to be in. Being in the right place at the right time...That rarely happens for me. Its how I feel all the time here. I wake up look out my window and see the beautiful Tay River, I see the city, bridges and green, green land. I've never seen a place so green before. I've traveled all over the city, to Stirling and this Saturday I'm seeing all of Angus County along with Glamis Castle. This is the experience of a lifetime. Only at night before I sleep do I find my mind wandering to thoughts of home and feelings of homesickness rise up. I miss my family, my friends, my home, my college. Then I think of where I am and I am oddly fulfilled. I know everyone is proud of me and want me to have the time of my life, and I am. Its strange since I've been here I keep thinking of my Grandpa...I wish I could send him a postcard. As silly as that sounds. I like to think he can see all this anyway. I miss him terribly. I think he's proud of where I am today. I'm living my life for those who can't I guess. In that way classes a okay and yes they are important, but I didn't come here to study; I came here to explore. If you ever have the chance, travel. It's one of the most beneficial things people can do. To experience a new place, to see new things, to hear new things, to meet new people. Trust me on this.
-J
-J