I'm going to become a shut-in again.
I'm starting to think its impossible for me to have friends locally. The guys want in my pants idgi and the girls hate me for it esp cause I get very flirty and attentiongrabby when I'm drinking (i cant really help it... haaaaaaappy drunk).
And it sucks. Cause I cannot go out and have a good time without drama happening anymore.
I fucking hate it. I hate it so so much. I have enough to worry about with distance and wanting jeff and then there's mom and dad's problems and trying to avoid the layoff lists and saving up in-case they do start laying people off or so i can fucking move out finally if they dont lay anyone off ... and trying to get healthy again and just fucking UGH ...
right now I'm pissed at myself for being a decent person and allowing myself to be tricked into going back to the bar cause someone said he needed a ride home cause he was drunk and there were cops milling around. Yea ... he needed a "ride" ...
and... I'm sure everyone at this point is prolly sick of me bitching about my guy problems... cause you know ... im so hot everyone wants me right? I dont think so... whatever. ... just know that it's not all it's cracked up to be ...
When it gets to the point where you can't trust anyone cause who is it going to be next? .... It's too much.
I've just ... I've had enough ...
No more.
I give up on having friends.
And it sucks. Cause I cannot go out and have a good time without drama happening anymore.
I fucking hate it. I hate it so so much. I have enough to worry about with distance and wanting jeff and then there's mom and dad's problems and trying to avoid the layoff lists and saving up in-case they do start laying people off or so i can fucking move out finally if they dont lay anyone off ... and trying to get healthy again and just fucking UGH ...
right now I'm pissed at myself for being a decent person and allowing myself to be tricked into going back to the bar cause someone said he needed a ride home cause he was drunk and there were cops milling around. Yea ... he needed a "ride" ...
and... I'm sure everyone at this point is prolly sick of me bitching about my guy problems... cause you know ... im so hot everyone wants me right? I dont think so... whatever. ... just know that it's not all it's cracked up to be ...
When it gets to the point where you can't trust anyone cause who is it going to be next? .... It's too much.
I've just ... I've had enough ...
No more.
I give up on having friends.