Up and down.
I went to my psychiatry appointment yesterday - the second one I've ever had in my life. I felt I needed to go to deal with some issues that have been rearing their ugly head for the past 13 or 14 months. After talking for about an hour, the doctor tells me that the root of my problems stem from the fact that I display classic symptoms of bipolar disorder. AKA manic depression. AKA no wonder I've been so fucking up and down my entire life. It was sort of difficult to hear, but at least I now know what could possibly be wrong with my head and can take a course of action to deal with it, rather than living day to day trying to pretend that I feel "right".
Apparently, I also suffer from acute social anxiety.
Ahhh, joy.
I have another appointment on wednesday so we can figure out which combination of medication will work best for me.
The only reason I am posting this is because I don't think it is something that I need to be ashamed of. It was a big deal to me, and that type of thing is usually what I blog about... the things that affect me on a day to day basis.
So that's out of the way.
I had a super realistic nightmare last night. I thought Tony hated my guts, and he didn't have any qualms about showing it. I woke up crying. Then he lulled me back to sleep. I'm so glad that was the only part that was real.
I ended up getting a decent response from people about new members for Penetralia. So far, there are about 5 or 6 potential candidates. That's pretty exciting, since I can't wait to start doing shows again. I'm going to be making a few phone calls later on today to meet up with a couple of people to discuss this year's show itinerary.
I also have 4 or 5 photo shoots booked for the next two months. There are some pretty bad ass concepts flying around that I can't wait to work on. Max, if you are reading this, I still want to work on that fucking book!!!!!
I'm in the process of setting up my etsy account and am going to start working on some new stuff to put online to sell. Today I finally managed to get a paypal account all geared up and ready to go as well.
On another note, my sister and Devin (my friend from high school that she is dating, haha) came over. We ended up going out to The Saint and having a really nice time. Ashley and I took some pretty rad pictures in the photo booth there. Maybe I'll scan those in later.
Zombie Prom @ OEJ's this friday the 13th. I'm so there.
It's nice to feel like I have a life again.
Apparently, I also suffer from acute social anxiety.
Ahhh, joy.
I have another appointment on wednesday so we can figure out which combination of medication will work best for me.
The only reason I am posting this is because I don't think it is something that I need to be ashamed of. It was a big deal to me, and that type of thing is usually what I blog about... the things that affect me on a day to day basis.
So that's out of the way.
I had a super realistic nightmare last night. I thought Tony hated my guts, and he didn't have any qualms about showing it. I woke up crying. Then he lulled me back to sleep. I'm so glad that was the only part that was real.
I ended up getting a decent response from people about new members for Penetralia. So far, there are about 5 or 6 potential candidates. That's pretty exciting, since I can't wait to start doing shows again. I'm going to be making a few phone calls later on today to meet up with a couple of people to discuss this year's show itinerary.
I also have 4 or 5 photo shoots booked for the next two months. There are some pretty bad ass concepts flying around that I can't wait to work on. Max, if you are reading this, I still want to work on that fucking book!!!!!
I'm in the process of setting up my etsy account and am going to start working on some new stuff to put online to sell. Today I finally managed to get a paypal account all geared up and ready to go as well.
On another note, my sister and Devin (my friend from high school that she is dating, haha) came over. We ended up going out to The Saint and having a really nice time. Ashley and I took some pretty rad pictures in the photo booth there. Maybe I'll scan those in later.
Zombie Prom @ OEJ's this friday the 13th. I'm so there.
It's nice to feel like I have a life again.