paper globe
i stopped drinking coffee, for the most part. and started drinking soy milk.
at one point, i had the impression that being 'grown-up' i'd have tons of time and the opportunity to do whatever i wanted. now that i am 'grown-up', i work ridiculous hours (ridiculous for teaching, anyhow- from 8 'til 6) buy masks on ebay, read and sleep. sometimes i do artwork outside of teaching, but lately all portraits for cp families. i am never alone, so it doesn't occur to me to be lonely, and i'm always either working or tired, so it doesn't occur to me to be bored. but i'm rarely elated, so lately i've just sort of been.
it's odd to have lived with evan for as long as i have- he's become part of the framework of my day to day existance. obviously i love him. but it's a totally different sort of love than the desperate sort that i felt before we were actually a couple. perhaps it's 'mature'. or something... it's easy to take it for granted, which is slightly uncomfortable. and, working with young children all the time makes me think about having children myself. of course when i think about having kids i think about having them with him. which is slightly uncomfortable too- partially because i know that he has something like eight years left to be a student. we've sort of been talking about where he might do his post doc- i'd like for it to be somewhere in europe. london maybe? ...i'd be something like 32 by the time he was done though. my mom was 24 when i was born.
i guess it's a biological-clock quiet mini-crisis. fucking weird.
at one point, i had the impression that being 'grown-up' i'd have tons of time and the opportunity to do whatever i wanted. now that i am 'grown-up', i work ridiculous hours (ridiculous for teaching, anyhow- from 8 'til 6) buy masks on ebay, read and sleep. sometimes i do artwork outside of teaching, but lately all portraits for cp families. i am never alone, so it doesn't occur to me to be lonely, and i'm always either working or tired, so it doesn't occur to me to be bored. but i'm rarely elated, so lately i've just sort of been.
it's odd to have lived with evan for as long as i have- he's become part of the framework of my day to day existance. obviously i love him. but it's a totally different sort of love than the desperate sort that i felt before we were actually a couple. perhaps it's 'mature'. or something... it's easy to take it for granted, which is slightly uncomfortable. and, working with young children all the time makes me think about having children myself. of course when i think about having kids i think about having them with him. which is slightly uncomfortable too- partially because i know that he has something like eight years left to be a student. we've sort of been talking about where he might do his post doc- i'd like for it to be somewhere in europe. london maybe? ...i'd be something like 32 by the time he was done though. my mom was 24 when i was born.
i guess it's a biological-clock quiet mini-crisis. fucking weird.