Speaking for my people...bakerlooFebruary 28 2008, 14:31:42 UTC
Everyone, regardless of gender, has some sort of body issue(s). You're right to point out that women tend to have them in a different way and they can be crippling. I do not think it is possible to find a person without body issues, but I think it is possible to find a person who is more comfortable with her body than other people. I think I have plenty of body issues, but when Aaron and I first started dating, I felt pretty good about how I looked. The secret no one told me: when someone else thinks you're pretty, you feel pretty. WHO KNEW?!
As for the body type compliment, I think this is a very tricky line. You want to tell her you think she's beautiful as she is, and at the same time you want to tell her that you are not looking for what is held as the ideal (size 0 with boobs but no hips). And that is EXACTLY what a lot of girls who are not super skinny want out of a boyfriend, but I don't think we want to hear it. A person I dated and loved once upon a time told me how much he loved girls with hips. And for a while this was a great thing to hear. I was womanly and sexy! But THEN we broke up and every time I thought about that comment, all I heard was "Meghann, you are fat."
The best thing to do is just go with the Bridget Jones line, "I think you're beautiful, just as you are."
Wait...what?xequalsfunFebruary 28 2008, 20:38:19 UTC
You have a penis? Like, a PENIS penis?
If you have body image stories to share, you're more than welcome to chime in. My initial point was to get feedback from a "female perspective" (TM), but the discussion has gotten me thinking about it more generally, too.
The curve of my waste, incidentally, is not quite so smooth.
I trust you conferred with your sisters at your annual meetingxequalsfunFebruary 28 2008, 20:36:13 UTC
Yeah, it is a double-edged sword, I think. "I'm attracted to you because you're not skinny" still contains that line "you're not skinny" in there. Ideally, I think it would be great if she realized she's attractive as she is, and that there are plenty of guys who don't need heroin chic out of the women they date, but I don't know if that's entirely realistic.
As for the body type compliment, I think this is a very tricky line. You want to tell her you think she's beautiful as she is, and at the same time you want to tell her that you are not looking for what is held as the ideal (size 0 with boobs but no hips). And that is EXACTLY what a lot of girls who are not super skinny want out of a boyfriend, but I don't think we want to hear it. A person I dated and loved once upon a time told me how much he loved girls with hips. And for a while this was a great thing to hear. I was womanly and sexy! But THEN we broke up and every time I thought about that comment, all I heard was "Meghann, you are fat."
The best thing to do is just go with the Bridget Jones line, "I think you're beautiful, just as you are."
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For example, "I love the curve of your waste because it's so smooth and nice to touch".
I realize this is a typo and spellcheck won't catch these types of typos, but I laughed for a good five minutes. ^_^"
Also, I realize I have a penis (who knew?), so I think this is the only other way I can respond to this thread. :p
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If you have body image stories to share, you're more than welcome to chime in. My initial point was to get feedback from a "female perspective" (TM), but the discussion has gotten me thinking about it more generally, too.
The curve of my waste, incidentally, is not quite so smooth.
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