The only thing that makes me lesser of a person is my lack of ability to please myself.
I recently just looked at this picture and I swear I felt this overwhelming feeling of distortion and doubt of my not-so-interesting life in only 5 or so seconds. As if the complexities of my brain in this moment including the morals, lessons, worthless bullshit, worthful feelings, pretty much everything I've experienced in the last 15 years and couple months of my life was fighting its way out. The truth is I haven't yet learned to let go fully. "plans get complex" and I know it will be hard. Those 5 seconds of my life will never be recovered as hard as I try. As the color in this picture fades as you look on....to me im looking back at the years of my life...I swear this picture represents my life...our life at that. We are born colorless, dry of feeling. Unthinkable thoughts. but as life progresses, we paint our own lives on an evergrowing canvas which is our mind, our life. We add color and we grow tapping into that feeling which in the middle of your crisis is inevitably complex yet satisfying to the mind. Yet as you slowly learn to let go, things go smoother and we pay attention to the lively color which we paint in that moment of freedom. Complexities lessen and we become overwhelmingly pleased with what we have. and it will always start and end with you. Although im not finished with letting go, I'm beginning my lively color. I'm happy. at least for 50% of the time.
Thank you.
and goodbye.