!
You know...humans are such illogical creatures. We are born and raised as/by hypocrites. For instance, i love to preach the advice of not giving into raw emotion, but when push comes to shove, I cannot follow my own advice.
I can come up with as many excuses as i like, things like: well this time is different. I was depressed already. I have an anxiety problem. I have good intentions
But the matter of the fact is none of these are valid. Even if im depressed, i still should not lose control, same with my anxiety problem. Good intentions also mean nothing in the face of action.
Such is the curse of being a human. We make mistakes, right? These things are OK right? No, not really. Things dont have to be this way. Things can change. They WILL change. I dont have to live my life like this. I can choose how I want to live. I dont want to hurt anyone anymore. I dont want to be a burden anymore. Sometimes it takes really drastic measures to awaken someone to the truth. My eyes are now open.
I think im a selfish person. I think at times I desire a negative sort of attention. People sometimes make me feel ignored. Everyone complains when people dont listen to them when they are speaking, but everyone does it to others. Because at times I feel ignored, i sometimes have emotional outbursts in order to get the attention of those I care about, but this...is wrong. Other times I feel so unlucky, unloved, and pathetic because of myself or others i think i make my own curse come true. I think therefore I am. I also far too often I need quick fixes to situations. I need resolution right away. Some things cannot be mended right away though. I need to better understand this. It is not about what can I do to make myself sleep better at night. I need to be more open. I need to stand up for myself. Most of my friends have done a lot of things that have bothered me, but because i dont like conflict...I just let it go. I cannot do this either. I should not be miserable so others can be happy. Wheres my happiness? I need to take better control of my emotions and not let them control me, before its too late.
I can tell myself i can always have one more chance at something, but its really started to hit home now. Nobody has an infinite number of chances ever. I need to make it all count!
In the end, my eyes have been opened to certain things. I do not wish to be what I am now. I will do better than this. Deep down, i love all my friends and family. I dont wish to be a burden or hurt them. I care for everyone so much...and so its about time to take action, before my time runs out. I will become the person ive always hoped to be!
I can come up with as many excuses as i like, things like: well this time is different. I was depressed already. I have an anxiety problem. I have good intentions
But the matter of the fact is none of these are valid. Even if im depressed, i still should not lose control, same with my anxiety problem. Good intentions also mean nothing in the face of action.
Such is the curse of being a human. We make mistakes, right? These things are OK right? No, not really. Things dont have to be this way. Things can change. They WILL change. I dont have to live my life like this. I can choose how I want to live. I dont want to hurt anyone anymore. I dont want to be a burden anymore. Sometimes it takes really drastic measures to awaken someone to the truth. My eyes are now open.
I think im a selfish person. I think at times I desire a negative sort of attention. People sometimes make me feel ignored. Everyone complains when people dont listen to them when they are speaking, but everyone does it to others. Because at times I feel ignored, i sometimes have emotional outbursts in order to get the attention of those I care about, but this...is wrong. Other times I feel so unlucky, unloved, and pathetic because of myself or others i think i make my own curse come true. I think therefore I am. I also far too often I need quick fixes to situations. I need resolution right away. Some things cannot be mended right away though. I need to better understand this. It is not about what can I do to make myself sleep better at night. I need to be more open. I need to stand up for myself. Most of my friends have done a lot of things that have bothered me, but because i dont like conflict...I just let it go. I cannot do this either. I should not be miserable so others can be happy. Wheres my happiness? I need to take better control of my emotions and not let them control me, before its too late.
I can tell myself i can always have one more chance at something, but its really started to hit home now. Nobody has an infinite number of chances ever. I need to make it all count!
In the end, my eyes have been opened to certain things. I do not wish to be what I am now. I will do better than this. Deep down, i love all my friends and family. I dont wish to be a burden or hurt them. I care for everyone so much...and so its about time to take action, before my time runs out. I will become the person ive always hoped to be!