For Those Who Wait: a Mass Effect fanfic 3.5/4

[xenzen]

God, she was so hot inside, he was surprised his finger wasn't burned to a crisp, and just the thought of thrusting home into that heat was making him hard again. And she was so tight; if not for the wetness, he doubted he could fit even that much. Her inner walls rippled, clamping down on his digit as if she never wanted to let him go.

"You're so tight, Shepard, tight as a virgin," he murmured against her knee as he slid his finger out, despite her attempts to draw it back in. "It's like no one's touched you since" you died "you came back."

"There hasn't been anyone else." Her breathless voice was hoarse but firm, her covered eyes facing with unerring aim towards him. "You're the only one."

"That's right - I'm the only one who'll ever get to touch you like this," Kaidan growled, to cover a surge of emotions that made him want to hug her and kiss her and fuck her, all at once, and pushed in his finger again, this time past the second knuckle. "The only cock that will ever fill all your empty places - is mine."

"Yes. Yes!" Shepard cried as he gave her another finger, grinding herself against his hand.

"My cock in your mouth," Kaidan said, his voice deepening, pulling his fingers out only to thrust them back in. "My cock in your cunt. My cock in your ass."

Her head thrashed on the pillow, strands of black hair whipping across her flushed face as he pushed in yet another finger. "Only you," she gasped as he sped up the pace, the simple words spoken with such need, they didn't sound trite at all.

"Come for me," he commanded, burying his fingers as deep as they could go, curving against that special spot he remembered, and unleashed powerful static shocks inside - and out, where his thumb rubbed her clit.

Shepard flared blue for a heartbeat, then stiffened, threw her head back, and screamed his name as the orgasm ambushed her, just like in his fantasies - except his pallid imaginings paled next to the reality. In his imagination, she didn't squeeze his fingers like a hot vice as he pumped them into her, striving to match the rhythm of the rippling inside, her warm come bathing them and trickling down into his palm, and her strong legs weren't clamped around his waist, muscles flexing hard enough to nearly stop his breath.

He'd forgotten about the biotic field still suspended over them, too; invisible currents rippled through the dark energy, sensed, not seen, but strong enough to rattle loose items strewn on the bedside tables. What could be seen of her face and mouth were slack from the pleasure, and he hadn't imagined that either, nor the sweat trickling down her temples, and certainly not how absolutely delicious she smelled. It was obvious he needed to upgrade his imagination to a newer model.

He didn't take his fingers out until she stopped shaking and relaxed into a boneless sprawl, though her inner walls quivered, as if in protest at the absence. Since she couldn't see, he made sure he made loud smacking noises as he sucked her come off his hand, and saw her mouth twitch. Jesus, she tasted so good, he could happily spend the rest of the evening with his face buried between her legs. It was such a good idea he acted on it, right then and there.

All the years that had separated them vanished, and Kaidan forgot the grief, the anguish, the pain and the loneliness as he lost himself in the scent and taste and feel of her, as if for the first time. The triangular patch of her pubic hair, trimmed and neat, tickled his nose as he thrust his tongue into her as far as it could go, determined to lick up every last bit of her come. Her thighs came up to frame his head, and he could feel the muscles shifting beneath the skin as he suckled on her clit.

It amazed him all over again, how soft she felt, especially when compared to how hard and solid the rest of her was. While his tongue traced along a wet, yielding ridge, his fingers trailed down to the tight ring of puckered muscle below, and he felt her twitch as they circled around. Her musky scent was stronger there, and he inhaled it deep into his lungs.

"I'll never forget that morning after the first night we'd spent together," he said into her hot, wet flesh, while his fingers danced around that other entrance. "Do you remember how you woke me up?"

Her swollen lips curved into a knowing smirk, even as her body jerked against his hand and mouth, but her voice wasn't as steady as she pretended to be. "I gave you the best damned fingerfucking and blowjob of your life."

His cock, already at half-mast from indulging himself at the feast of Shepard's lovely body, grew hard and heavy at both the memory and the sound of her husky voice. He loved it when she talked dirty. "Hell yeah - but then you were always good at using your mouth."

Shepard shuddered, unable to choke back a whine as he slid his fingers back into her while his tongue meandered down to that taut, dry entrance. Wrapped around his torso, he felt her leg muscles spasm, a reaction reflected in her wavering voice. "W-why bring that up now?"

Kaidan took a long, leisurely swipe back up to her clit, swirling his tongue around it. "I've always wanted to return the favor. In my own way."

While his tongue returned to that fascinating ridge of hard muscle, he gazed up the length of her body, drinking in the sight of her shiny dog tags bobbing up and down her heaving breasts, the glow of her sweaty skin under the lights, and knew that, under the blindfold, her pupils were dilated with lust. She didn't taste quite the same here, he thought as his tongue tunneled deeper into that rough passage, and decided he needed another sample - or ten - before he could determine if he liked it.

He was so lost in the taste of her - he'd come to the conclusion that he liked it a lot - that he almost missed the telltale trembling inside, where her inner walls - still as scalding hot and tight as ever - clenched hard on his thrusting fingers.

"Kaidan," Shepard breathed; if he hadn't been hard already, he would've sprang to attention at the sound of that raspy note of need in her voice, the one she saved for him alone, that no one else ever heard.

"Come for me, Shepard," he crooned into her skin, his tone gentle this time, not demanding, and sped up the pace of his thrusting fingers, curling and scraping them against that special spot; it wasn't exactly easy to maneuver, with the way her inner walls were squeezing them.

Her first orgasm had taken the edge off what Kaidan suspected was at least a year's worth of frustration, so her second seemed almost understated in comparison - if all he saw was the surface. She stretched like a lazy cat, arms extending above her head as far as the restraints let her, and her heels pressed on the small of his back while her thighs flexed against his face. In contrast to that relaxed picture, her inner walls rippled around his hand, and clamped down so hard on his fingers he doubted he could pull them out if he wanted to - not that he wanted to.

The dark energy field ran a thousand warm fingers over his hair and back as he licked up the new flood of come wetting his hand. Damn, he didn't think he'd ever get tired of the sweet taste of her pleasure. He dragged himself and his hand away from her sopping wet sex with an effort of will, and leaned up to kiss her, letting her taste herself on his lips; she stole the whimper that escaped him when his groin rubbed against those slick, soft folds, basking in the heat that radiated from her.

"Kaidan..." Shepard said, voice hoarse, her breath hot against his cheeks. "I want you."

The utilitarian fabric of the trouser leg wrapped around her eyes rubbed against his forehead as she pressed clumsy kisses on his face, determined lips hunting blindly for his. Her legs tightened around his waist, pulling him against her, leaving him no doubt as to what she wanted. He reached down and took hold of himself, and teased the head of his cock through her wet folds and swirled it around her clit, catching up her come and mixing it with his own. She arched her back and tightened her legs around him to try to get closer, but he leaned back out of reach.

"You're not the one in control here," Kaidan said, his tone harsher than he intended as sweat popped out on his brow and rolled down his face from the effort of restraining himself, fighting the urge to snap his hips forward and bury himself inside her to the hilt. He was glad she couldn't see how much it cost him.

"Kaidan..." His name came out as a thwarted whine. "Please."

Swallowing with a suddenly dry throat, he deemed it too dangerous to continue to bait her like that without ending the game much too early. To buy some time to regain his composure - or at least his equilibrium - he unwrapped her legs from around his waist, and looked around for those packages he'd brought over. It was a real wrench to drag himself away from her warm body, but he couldn't see either of them anywhere.

Her blindfolded face turned this way and that as she tried to sense where he went. "Hey, where're you going?" she said, frustration evident in her tone.

"Shh," he whispered, reaching out to run a soothing hand along her side, as if he were calming a skittish animal; it must've worked, because she subsided. "I just need to find something."

His questing fingers finally closed around one of the packages; the damned things must've rolled underneath the bedside table. Sitting back on the edge of the bed, items in hand, he took a moment to just admire her flushed, sweaty form. Mine, mine, all mine, ran the lilting song in his heart. Then he looked closer, and realized what he'd overlooked in the frenzied, lust-filled drive to get Shepard naked.

All the scars that he remembered - both big and small - were gone; he wasn't sure why he hadn't expected it, since the distinctive parallel slashes across her face had been missing since Horizon, as was the acid burn that had covered much of her left arm when he'd seen her more recently in BDUs.

He'd known many of the more visible ones had vanished, though he'd made certain to never look too closely at her when she was putting on and taking off her armor - if only so he wouldn't walk around with a constant erection for everyone to see. Not to mention that having one while the plumbing was hooked up was pretty damned uncomfortable.

Her skin, the color of which always reminded him of coffee with milk, was flawless. Kaidan felt strange, seeing that; there hadn't been many opportunities to make love before the SR-1 had been destroyed, but he remembered running his tongue over each and every one of them, and sometimes, when she was feeling forthcoming, she told him the stories behind a few of them. Now he'd never get the chance to learn them all.

If he was disturbed by their lack, how did she feel? He shook off the unease, and ran his hands over that expanse of smooth skin, cool now as the air cyclers dried her sweat. Shepard felt the same, she smelled the same, she tasted the same, and she looked the same, even without the scars, but he still had the nagging sense she wasn't as at home in her own body as she let on - or maybe the concurrent wars with both Cerberus and the Reapers had drastically rearranged her priorities.

Well, he'd just have to do his part to make her feel more comfortable inside her own skin. Well, maybe not exactly comfortable.

Shepard had relaxed under his caresses, but made a startled exclamation as he turned her over, revealing the backside he'd admired so many times over the years - and discovered it wasn't just her scars that were missing.

"Your tattoo - it's gone." Kaidan settled himself between her legs again and brushed his hand over the empty spot on her left buttock, where the lurid, blood-red dragon logo of her favorite team used to be. Damn. That tattoo had been like an old friend.

"I know... I keep meaning to get a new one, but I never got the chance." She wriggled in a damned distracting way as his fingers dipped down between her buttocks and into her sex.

"You realize there's only one way to correct that right now."

Despite all her protestations that she was just a simple marine, Shepard was sharp, and realized what he intended at once. "You wouldn't - shit!" she screeched as his palm came down and administered a stinging blow to her buttock.

"I would," Kaidan said, but he wasn't sure if she heard him as he rained slaps down onto those round, firm mounds as fast as he could swing his arm - and as hard as he could, alternating between left and right.

She wriggled around so much he had to pin her down with his other hand, and he watched, fascinated, as her coffee-with-milk skin darkened and shivered with every blow. He switched hands when the pins-and-needles feeling turned into numbness, ignoring her indignant cries of Kaidan! and Bastard! and other less-than-kind terms, and noted that, for all her protests, she used neither her biotics nor her enhanced strength to escape. He didn't stop until both his palms were tingling and her buttocks were covered in reddened handprints.

Shepard didn't stop complaining until he pulled her back against him and rolled his erection against her wet folds; the skin of her ass was hot from the spanking, and felt wonderful against his groin. God, he was so hard, his cock was practically touching his stomach.

"Kaidan..." she said, the plea clear in her voice. As if that weren't enough, she lifted her hips up, raising her reddened backside in the air.

Jesus, just that husky voice of hers alone could undo him, nevermind offering up her ass with such trust, and he almost surrendered to both his needs and hers. Only the fact that the packages he'd been hunting for earlier were sitting right there on the bed stopped him.

With hands that shook a little, he popped open the cap on the tube of lubricant and squirted some into his palm. After his fingers were slick and slippery, he added another generous dollop, and pushed them into her puckered entrance. He heard her draw in a sharp breath as he stretched her, but made no complaint, even though she had to be drawing her own conclusions as to why he was preparing her in that place.

He picked up the other package, removed the cap, and smeared more lubricant onto it before he pushed it into her with care. Shepard's gasp was louder when she realized she'd jumped to the wrong conclusion.

"W-what's that?"

Kaidan placed a calming hand on the still-hot skin of her buttock, feeling her shift under his touch as he slid the vibrator home, until the protective cone was flush against her entrance. Then he tucked the bendable handle up until it was nestled in the valley between her buttocks, out of the way. "Just a little something I picked up on the Citadel while you were off in meetings."

Shepard squirmed, buttocks flexing around the toy, to settle it or dislodge it, he wasn't sure. "It doesn't feel that little."

He gave her something else to think about that also wasn't little as he guided himself to that other passage, one that was wet, hot, and dripping, begging to be filled. She shrieked his name as his hips snapped forward, burying himself inside her to the balls in one hard stroke. There was an almost physical pop as the head of his cock pierced the entrance to her womb.

Oh, God, she was so hot, so tight, he had to think about various methods for safely overclocking omni-tool microframes before he came, and nearly lost the battle when she rippled and clenched around him. Sweat dripped from the tip of his nose to land on her back, and he concentrated on kissing the freckles that were strewn like stars across her shoulders, scattered by a careless hand, as he moved in a cautious retreat. He could feel the stiffness of the vibrator just on the other side of a thin wall, and decided not to turn it on until later, or else he'd explode right then and there.

When he was able to direct his attention back outward, he saw her head hanging low, resting on her outstretched arms. "You okay?" he asked, and hardly recognized his own voice, it sounded so hoarse.

"Yeah," she said, the word drifting out on a shuddering sigh. "I just - God, I feel so full."

Kaidan withdrew, gritting his teeth as the crown dragged over the hard ridge at the mouth of her womb, rubbing on the sensitive underside of his cock. Dammit, he was not going to embarass himself a second time.

Taking a deep breath of the musky air to steady himself, he bent to kiss her nape, just under her amp port; his own dog tags dragged along her back as he reached under to cup her breast, his other moving down to her clit. Though her skin was cool as the cyclers dried her sweat, he could sense the warmth lurking just beneath, heating his chest and stomach, strengthening to what felt like a conflagration where they were joined. It didn't matter where he touched her, it only reminded him that he was at her complete mercy; for all that he'd tied her up, that he was in charge for once, she was the one who could shatter his self-control with a mere word, or an injudicious movement.

The way Shepard was clenching on him as he withdrew was sheer torture, her inner walls pulled on him with such force, but he was able to slide out until only the head of his cock remained inside her. Abandoning her clit to take hold of both her firm breasts, which he'd been ignoring for far too long, he pulled and pinched her nipples as he took his time thrusting back in.

"Kaidan..." she said as she arched her back to meet him, an unspoken plea for him to speed up the pace in her voice - not knowing he couldn't, for fear of losing control.

For her, he would try, dare anything - and he had: he'd ridden with her in the Mako as she drove the tank through a gauntlet of geth armatures and into the Conduit on Ilos, he'd stood at her side when they'd taken on Saren, when the rogue turian Spectre had turned into some kind of Reaper avatar, and he'd shot a Councilor on nothing but her word. Of all the crazy, risky things he'd done in his life - most of them while under her command - surely loving her was one of the most insane.

He confined himself to short, shallow strokes, not trusting himself yet with anything more vigorous in case he hurt her - though she wasn't making it easy for him. He doubted he could do any real damage to someone who took out Reapers on foot even at his worst, but why take the chance?

Wrapping his hand around the handle of the vibrator, he thrust in and pulled the toy out, and when he withdrew, he pushed it back in. His thumb hovered on the button that would turn the toy on, but did he have enough finesse to...?

Kaidan smiled. Shepard always did say he thought too much. There was only one way to find out.

She screamed and bucked as he pushed the vibrator all the way in and turned it on for a brief second, then pulled it out as he tunneled into her other entrance, surprising her by changing his rhythm to long, slow thrusts, penetrating her womb on every upstroke. He moaned into her back as she welcomed him in without reservation, his hand shaking on the handle of the toy, the other clutching hard on her breast. He was wrong - he wasn't in charge at all, and that fact was obvious, so obvious, in the way his hips moved of their own accord while his head swam, dizzy from the pleasure.

Rough fingers eased their hold on her breast, teased and pinched at the already hard pebble her nipple had become, then dipped into the valley and back up the slope again to check the other, firm, rounded flesh slapping into his palm as his thrusts rocked her body back and forth. An incoherent litany composed mostly of his name spilled from her mouth as his hand mapped the ridges of her flat stomach, encountered damp, wiry hair, then found her clit rearing proudly up and out of its protective hood.

Shepard nearly threw him off when his fingers painted that sensitive bundle of nerves with static shocks, but he held on to her somehow, even if he was just barely hanging on to his sanity with his fingernails when he felt her inner walls squeezing him so hard in a very familiar pattern. God, he hadn't felt that in much too long, that and the feelings of fierce joy and satisfaction and not a little possessiveness, knowing he was the one who'd brought her such pleasure. His thumb spasmed on the vibrator's switch, then he felt her go rigid, her warm come bathing his aching flesh as he rolled and flexed his hips, sinking deeper into her than ever before.

Loud wet sounds accompanied their groans and grunts and cries as his heavy balls slapped against her, his thrusts growing more and more reckless and erratic.

"Jesus... y-you feel so good, Shepard. So good," Kaidan growled as he pulled out, fighting the whole way against her grasping inner walls, then filled her again with a hard, bone-jarring thrust; she was so slick by now he practically glided past the entrance to her womb.

"Kaidan," Shepard said in a voice thick with lust, arching her back and sucking him in with all the strength of one of her singularities. "Come for me."

Dammit - he never could bring himself to disobey her orders, especially when it was made in a smoky voice that was two-parts need and one part command. Unable to control himself, his spasming hand switched the vibrator on while he was still deep inside her, and felt the buzzing of the toy migrating like lightning into his groin. Dammit! Every knot of tension unwound, all at once, taking the frayed and tattered remnants of his control with them as that inner dam broke.

Someone was screaming incoherent curses, almost sobbing, and a part of him was shocked to realize that it was him making all those animal-like noises. Then his vision burned with white and blue fire, blinding him to everything except her hot inner walls contracting like a vice on him, milking him for everything he had.

When he came to his senses, Kaidan found himself collapsed onto Shepard's warm, sweaty back, and frowned when the light seemed to be brighter than usual, coming from an odd angle. Then he felt his face warm - well, more than it already was - when he saw her lamp had fallen onto the floor; his biotics must've flared, knocking it and everything else off the tables. It was a good thing nothing had broken, he thought, as he used his powers to put everything back in place, or she'd never let him hear the end of it. As it was, he hoped she'd been too out of it to notice.

Underneath him, she stretched, making a contented, growly little noise in the back of her throat that had his softening cock twitching inside her. He pressed lazy kisses to the winged curves of her clavicles, to the back of her neck, the hard edges of her amp port cool against his lips, and all the dark brown freckles he could reach without moving too much. Shepard made for a wonderful bed, with her soft skin disguising her solid muscles, her ass cradling his groin, every curve complementing the flatter planes of his body. They fit together so well.

Summoning the energy from somewhere, he levered himself up, and tried to ignore her sleepy complaint as he withdrew from her. He hissed; the cool air of her cabin felt frigid after being nestled inside her hot flesh. A warm tide of their mingled come washed over his groin and thighs; he slid his hand between her legs to catch some of it up, and licked it off his fingers. It was hardly a surprise to find that it tasted really damn good.

Kaidan rolled her over onto her back and curled himself around her warm, sweaty body. Reaching down, he caught up some more of their mingled essence, and pressed his slick hand against her mouth. "Taste."

Shepard's lips parted, letting him slide his fingers into her mouth. Even so soon after his orgasm, he felt his cock trying to rise to the occasion as he watched her lick and suck on his hand with as much relish as she'd shown with the ice cream earlier, feeling the suction and the motion of her tongue. God, that mouth of hers - it was wasted on making deals with turians and krogan, the geth and quarians; it was made for giving blowjobs. Giving him blowjobs.

"Tastes good, doesn't it?" he said, and was answered by her enthusiastic nod and hum of agreement. He took his fingers out of her mouth and replaced them with his lips, tasting the saltiness of his seed and her own musky flavor mixed with cinnamon.

He'd rested long enough to entertain something more ambitious, and kissed the marks he'd left on her neck, now showing up dark against her skin, her collarbones, then he paused to worship her breasts. Maybe they weren't that big, but they belonged on a soldier in top condition, and they fit perfectly into his palms. Her breath ruffled his hair as he flicked his tongue over a nipple, and with his head resting between her breasts, he could both hear and feel her heart begin to race.

"Kaidan -" She gasped as he bit down on her nipple, adding one more mark to the ones already decorating her breast. "Where are you getting all this energy?"

He chuckled into her chest. "Having a couple days off from sweeping out Cerberus and Reapers might have something to do with it. Besides, you... inspire me," he added, and decided not to mention the weeks of sexual frustration since he'd transferred to the SR-2, only made worse by their recent sparring sessions.

They'd spent the last week flying through hostile territory, dodging Reaper forces while making covert drops onto planets to recover people or material or both. Thanks to the Normandy's stealth drive, they were in and out before the Reapers - or Cerberus - could catch them, and that meant he'd been taking it easy.

Shepard stretched underneath him, a rumbling growl deep in her chest as he switched to pay homage to her other breast. "I have been working you hard," she murmured, though whether she was referring to making love or their missions, he didn't know.

"Labor of love," Kaidan assured her, nuzzling the underside of her breast, fully aware that his stubble was scraping across the sensitive skin, and inhaled her scent; no perfume could ever compete with the smell of sweat and sex she wore.

While he suckled her, his hand wandered down her warm, sticky body until his fingers encountered the handle of the vibrator, still sticking out of her ass. He drew out the toy, hearing her breath hiss between her teeth as he did so, and fumbled for the cap. As he clapped the two pieces together, he mentally congratulated himself for buying the more expensive self-cleaning model. Once the light was green, the vibrator slid out of the socket, now shiny and sterilized.

With a slight twinge of regret, he left her breasts and raised himself to kiss her, giving her swollen bottom lip a light nip. "You good?" he murmured, knowing she would understand all the different meanings layered in the question.

Shepard's chin lifted, mouth stretching in a cocky smile. "I'm good. Bring it on, Kaidan."

That was his commander: fearless and brave. He arranged himself so that he was kneeling on a pillow, pulled her arms down so that her bound wrists were resting on her stomach, then turned around as he straddled her head.

"It's time you put that silver tongue of yours to good use, Shepard," Kaidan said as he lowered himself down onto her face, and braced himself on all fours.

"Aye aye, sir," she said in a cheeky tone, then he felt her eager mouth on his ass.

With the blindfold still on and her hands tied, all she had to guide her was her tongue, but she didn't let that stop her. His eyelids drooped as she worked, feeling her hot mouth exploring him, then his eyes grew wide when he felt her biotic field flare around him; it had dissipated some time earlier, but now he shivered as it sank through and intersected with his barrier.

"That's cheating," he said, swallowing as tendrils of dark energy stretched him wider, allowing her tongue to push further into him instead of just teasing around that tight ring of muscle.

"Improvising," Shepard demurred, and he felt her smile when he shivered from her breath blowing on damp, sensitive skin.

The biotic field was as intangible as smoke, but Kaidan could feel it lifting, then cupping his balls, squeezing them in a gentle grip as she licked his perineum. He squirmed, grinding against her face as her tongue lingered there; she knew how much he liked that spot to be touched, to be stimulated. Warm fingers of dark energy insinuated themselves deep inside him with sensual slowness; with a quiet groan, he made himself relax as much as he could, and let her invade him. The faint heat and pressure felt exquisite, giving him the best and most thorough prostate massage he'd ever experienced; every touch felt like it was arcing straight through his groin and into his cock.

He knew he should feel worried, frightened even, about all that power concentrated around his privates, but he didn't - in fact, it excited him, more than a little. He was putting his life in her hands - though that was nothing new.

Then what felt like a bolt of lightning got shoved up his ass, shattering his complacency.

"Yeow!" It was a miracle he hadn't smashed head-first into the shuttered window on the ceiling, he'd jumped so high.

When he came back down, he lifted himself off her, and turned to see that Shepard, cruel woman that she was, was grinning at him. She stuck her tongue out and made a spark dance on the moist tip, leaving no question as to what had happened.

"Consider that payback for spanking me," Shepard said, and licked her lips, looking like the cat who'd eaten a canary the size of the Normandy.

It'd felt kind of... good, actually, now that he was over the shock and surprise. Really good. So good he wanted her to do it again, and he said so.

Her grin transmuted into a self-satisfied smirk. "It's always the quiet ones, isn't it?" Her smirk broadened. "At least until I make you scream."

With a growl, Kaidan straddled her head again, only this time he was facing her, with his groin pressed to her face. "Shut up and suck me."

A fat spark leapt from the tip of her tongue to the crown of his cock, followed immediately by a warm, wet lick, and he shuddered. His hand fisted in her short hair, hard enough for a wince to pass across what could be seen of her features, moving her head as she suckled him. Then he gasped as she swallowed him whole into her hot, hungry mouth; he looked down and saw her nose buried in his pubic hair, lips stretched wide around him. Shepard never did do anything by halves.

Watching her mouth on him was almost as good as feeling it, as her tongue fluttered against the slit, then swirled around the knob, her hum of contentment vibrating into him. He jerked and twitched as static played up and down and inside his cock, but the pain only made the dark pleasure all the sweeter.

Her biotic field folded him into its embrace again, but this time the subtle currents of power washed over his whole body instead of concentrating around his privates. As she licked him from tip to base and back again, dark energy ran loving fingers down his back and squeezed his ass, teased his nipples and twined around his legs. He wasn't getting just a blowjob, but a full-body job.

Thanks to her biotics, talented tongue, and the obvious pleasure she was getting out of it, he was hard again. As much as he wanted to fuck her mouth and watch her swallow his seed, there was something else he had to do - he had a promise to keep, after all. So he pulled - wrenched - himself away, though not without a pang of regret.
There would be other opportunities, he told himself.

She sighed. "You taste so good."

Kaidan swung his leg over, then wriggled and squirmed until he was lounging next to her. "Hmm, let me have a taste..." he murmured against her lips, and kissed her.

When he'd kissed his fill of the salty, spicy flavor of himself on her tongue, she murmured, "Kaidan?"

"Yeah?"

Shepard's face turned towards him, and he had the uncanny impression she could see him right through the blindfold. "I want... I want to see you. I want to see you come."

That seemed like a reasonable request - and a flattering one, too. He reached out to tug off the trouser leg, and got up on his knees. Shepard blinked, gray eyes adjusting to the light after the long period of darkness, and he smiled as her gaze was drawn to his groin. He grasped himself, hand moving in a long, slow stroke as he displayed his hard cock, shiny with her saliva, for her perusal. Yes, this is what you do to me. Her stare had an almost palpable weight, and for a moment he thought he felt her caressing him, even though her hands were still tied.

That feeling didn't go away as she watched him pick up the tube of lubricant and apply the gel to his hands; she parted her legs and let him prepare her. She was still loose from the vibrator, but he added more lubricant anyway, taking care to stretch her with gentle, slick fingers, even though the scent emanating from her sex was driving him crazy. Then he reached for the vibrator, and slid it home between those wet folds; she twitched when he couldn't resist toying with her clit.

With her hot, avid eyes on him, he made a show of lubricating himself, cupping his balls with one hand and stroking himself with the other, smearing the clear gel all over his cock until it glowed under the lights. Without his prompting, Shepard stretched her arms back above her head while he positioned himself between her legs, the blunt head looking huge compared to that puckered entrance. He glanced up, looked straight into her eyes, and saw her silent assent in them. They didn't speak - they didn't have to.

Putting her legs on his shoulders, Kaidan guided himself forward, careful this time to let her adjust to him. But, God, it was hard when she felt so snug, so tight, despite all his preparations, and she didn't feel any less hot there. With the blindfold off, he could see the effects on her face now, as well; her pupils were dilated, lips parted as she gasped for air, her face was flushed, and as he thrust into her in tiny increments, beads of sweat popped out on her forehead and rolled down her temples - but she never stopped looking him in the eye. What a beautiful sight she made.

"Can you see it, Shepard?" he said through gritted teeth as she clenched tight around him. "See how deep I am inside you?"

Shepard's bound hands were clenched, her neck taut and corded, her whole body singing with the tension that was reflected within. "No, but I can feel it. Oh, God, can I feel it."

"Can you feel this, too?" It was awkward, but he managed to reach around her leg and flick on the vibrator for a brief moment, and at the same time he withdrew and thrust forward.

Judging from the way she nearly leapt right off the bed and shrieked, she did. Kaidan groaned as she squeezed him; the muscles were a lot stronger there, and even though it had little of the subtlety and delicacy of the other, there was a kind of primal power there, and it felt damned good. Really damned good.

Her biotic field flared, currents of dark energy waking from quiescence, spreading wide open to fold him in, intersecting, sinking through and back, meshing in complex waves with his own barrier. The pulses of her power matched the same rhythm as his strokes, making it hard for him to keep control.

His fingers gripped her hips hard enough to bruise as he seated himself inside her, so deep his balls were pressed right up against her buttocks, and took a moment to regain his equilibrium, catch his breath, and savor how tight she felt.

Shepard had slumped against the pillow, breathing hard; she looked exhausted, but not from reading reports about things she couldn't change or fighting a battle that was looking more precarious by the day, but from their lovemaking. It was the good kind of weariness, and it was something she should wear more often, if he had anything to say about it - and he did, come to think of it. It didn't fool him into thinking she was really out of energy, not from the way she was straining around him.

"D-don't," Kaidan stuttered, choking as a particularly strong ripple tested the fraying edges of his control, and his hands spasmed on the hard edges of her hips as if he could somehow catch it back.

"Don't what?" Even through the sweat, her mischievous grin gleamed on her reddened face like a star.

He groaned as she clenched on him again, losing his train of thought over a mental cliff, but got some payback when he turned on the vibrator again. This tactic backfired; the buzzing toy disrupted her concentration, but being balls-deep inside her, he felt it all along his length, too, and more of his restraint was lost to the winds, shaken loose, until he managed to turn it off.

Shepard had thrown her head back, revealing the reddened perforated semi-circles of his earlier lovebites on her neck. "Don't hold back, Kaidan," she breathed.

The command in her voice bypassed his brain and hotwired itself directly to his groin, and before he knew it, he was driving into her with long, hard strokes. Filthy words and sacrilegous profanity all strung together with her name escaped his mouth as he withdrew and thrust himself into that slick, hot passage.

That tiny part of his mind not drowning in the pleasure knew he wasn't going to last long at this frenzied pace, and turned on the vibrator to its highest setting so that she wasn't left wanting. One hand held her hip to keep her bucking body still, while the other reached around her leg to fondle her clit, static gathering at her sex and between his legs. Pleasure and pain merged, just like their barriers and bodies had, until he couldn't tell them apart anymore, no longer knew where one began and one ended, amplifying every sensation until his mind must surely break under the onslaught.

The world narrowed to this moment of time - this string of moments - linked together by each harsh inhalation, each shuddering groan, each stroke, every quivering squeeze of her walls on him. They were free of everything in this tiny slice of eternity; there were no Reapers, no Cerberus, no meaningless deaths, no betrayals, and no futile battles - just them, a man and a woman, taking joy from each other and giving it back in infinite measure.

The building sensations grew so intense, they couldn't be sustained for long; Kaidan cried out as everything spiraled out of his control and unwound, all at once, and the world dissolved in wild blue fire. Through the flames, he saw Shepard's features contort as she came, for the first time in a very long time, now that the blindfold was off. God, she looked beautiful, with the biotic flare highlighting the sweat, the curve of her brows, and her parted lips. Dimly, over the roaring in his ears, he could hear her screaming, too.

He fell down on top of her in a boneless sprawl, limp hands letting her legs slide off his shoulders, though he had enough presence of mind to turn off the vibrator first - it took him a few tries. Her ragged breathing ruffled his hair and cooled the sweat trickling down his brow, then he felt her press a kiss to his forehead. It gave him the energy to lift himself off her and fall onto his side beside her; when he would've pulled away, she threw her leg over his hip to keep him joined to her.

For a small space of time, he was content to just let himself fall into her gray eyes, breathe in the scents of sex and sweat, and hold her in his arms as his cock softened inside her. His fingers trailed up her side, her arms, then he unwrapped the belt from around her wrists, and began massaging the stiffness out of her arms.

Shepard stirred, pressing languid kisses to his face once he'd settled back down beside her. "Do that again."

He chuckled, lacking the energy to laugh, and kissed her back, even as his groin tightened at the thought that she'd let him tie her up again. "Sure - just, uh, gimme some time to recover. That was... pretty intense."

Her only reply was a smirk, which he did his best to wipe away with his tongue and lips.

"I'll be right back," Kaidan promised her as he withdrew from her with a groan.

With reluctance, he disentangled himself from her and sat up, wincing as his feet encountered the cold floor, and staggered on shaking legs to her bathroom. He took a moment for a quick wash, and came back out with a wet towel.

The music that had been playing all through their lovemaking was off; he hadn't even noticed, until its sudden lack was made conspicuous by the silence, but forgot all about it when his attention was riveted to the naked woman in the bed. Shepard had taken out the vibrator, and was looking at him with heavy-lidded eyes as she licked the come off it in a way that made him groan deep in his throat. Joining her in bed, he reveled in the warmth of her body and the sheets as he took away the vibrator and kissed her, tasting both himself and her on her lips.

Lost in exploring her mouth, it took a while for him to remember what he was doing with a wet towel in his hand, and dragged himself away from her lips. Pulling himself to a sitting position, he cleaned her with the cloth, and she gave him a lazy smile as she submitted to his ministrations. Then her hand came up, touching his chest as he set the towel aside and pulled the blankets up over them.

"You still have this?" Her brows raised in surprise, Shepard touched the charm resting on the chain, next to his dog tags.

"Yeah." Kaidan covered her hand with his, and wondered if she was thinking about the night she had given it to him. They'd made the drop onto Ilos the next day. "Made it through every mission they assigned me, these past three years, thanks to my good luck charm. That's what I think, anyway."

The only time he'd ever taken it off was when he'd started dating that doctor - but it would be impolitic to mention that now. He'd put it back on after seeing Shepard on Horizon - he'd always had the superstitious suspicion that not wearing it had probably been why that mission had gone so pear-shaped.

Unaware of the turn of his thoughts, she said, "I wouldn't have thought they'd let you -"

"Yeah, the shrinks told me I had to put it away after you - after the SR-1 - the Collectors - after what happened." A hint of bitterness seeped into his tone. "I think they were keeping an especially close eye on me, since I was an L2 and all. Afraid I might snap like so many other L2s and go on a rampage, I guess."

If it hadn't been for the knowledge of the Reapers' imminent invasion... he might well have taken refuge in madness from all the pain. Then again, maybe he wouldn't, not with his parents, and not with the knowledge that Shepard would surely storm in from the afterlife and kick his ass seven ways from Sunday.

"Kaidan..." She reached up to caress his face.

There was so much sympathy in her voice, Kaidan curled around her and buried his face in the crook of her neck, hugging her tight. Shepard was alive, she was here and in his arms, he told himself; the smell and taste and feel of her only reinforced the reality. And of course she would understand - she'd been slapped with biotic dampeners after she'd turned herself in.

Her biotic field had dispersed earlier, but now it manifested again and folded him in, rippling around him in a protective shell. She leaned back, catching his hand and twining her fingers with his; the gesture seemed more intimate, somehow, than all their desperate kisses and passionate lovemaking.

"Do you want it back?" he asked, and realized he'd placed his free hand over the charm. He forced himself to let go. "I know you only gave it to me to make me feel better -"

"It was a gift," she said, interrupting him. Taking his hand, she put it back over his dog tags and squeezed it. "It was the only thing of real value that I owned, and I wanted you to have it. I haven't changed my mind."

He smiled at her, relieved, and kissed her. "Well, okay. Thanks. It really does mean a lot to me."

Shepard pressed her forehead against his. "Kaidan?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you... come back tomorrow?" she said, sounding more uncertain than he'd ever heard her.

Kaidan's smile broadened, even as his heart swelled with both happiness - and love. "I'd like to. If you'll have me." Her only reply was a sweet smile that he just couldn't resist kissing.

"I love you," she whispered against his lips, her hand tightening on his.

He memorized the joy on her face, the smile softening the lines on her forehead and around her eyes, and tucked it away in a corner of his heart. After swallowing down a lump in his throat, he said, "I love you so much."

If only there were a way to preserve this moment forever, he thought as he held her close, one hand tangled in hers, the other caressing the cool skin of her bare back. Unfortunately, something much more mundane intruded itself: his stomach growled, and a second later, so did hers.

"Oh, for cryin' out loud," he muttered as he buried his face into the crook of her neck, and felt her silent laughter vibrating into him.

Shepard pressed a kiss against the top of his head and turned to rummage in a drawer, pulling out two energy bars; after a glance at the labels, she handed one to him. "Unless you want to wake up with a headache tomorrow, you'll eat this."

His lips twitched; it was just like her to take care of him, like he was just another soldier she'd look after. "You keep energy bars up here?"

She shrugged, causing the blanket to slide down one shoulder. "Well, sometimes I want a snack and I don't feel like trekking all the way down to the crew deck."

His smile turned into a grin on seeing his bar was pineapple flavored; it was the only kind the Alliance issued that didn't taste like crap. "You remembered."

"I always knew you were the one who'd emptied the dispenser, leaving just the cherry-flavored ones - which I hate." She mock scowled at him as she unwrapped her bar. "You never bothered to restock, either, you lazy pig. You could've at least put in an order for more."

He laughed, embarrassed, as he tore open his bar. "Sorry. And here I thought I'd gotten away with it. Too used to trying to hide my appetite, I guess - there weren't any other biotics at my previous posts before I got a berth on the Normandy, and I didn't want to be treated differently. The headaches made me stand out too much as it was."

Shepard gave him a sympathetic smile. "You get economy-sized meals, just like I do, but you don't seem that self-conscious about it anymore."

Kaidan shrugged, biting into the moist, chewy bar. After he swallowed, he replied, "Well, seeing Sovereign and chasing Saren all over the galaxy put things in perspective. There were bigger things to worry about, like rachni, geth, and Reapers."

They finished their energy bars and tossed the wrappers into the receptacle near one of the tables with their biotics. Then Shepard settled back against him, throwing one possessive arm over his waist like she never planned to leave the bed again - which would be just fine with him.

"Not going to take a shower?"

Her silent laugh feathered his cheeks. "I don't think I can move, much less get out of bed. Besides, I like the feel of your come inside me," she added, her rough voice even smokier than usual.

He growled, pulling her closer against him. "Keep talking like that and we're not going to get any sleep tonight."

Shepard kissed him, and smiled against his lips as she raised one hand to wave the lights off. "Then I guess I shouldn't say anything more - except 'good night'."

"Good night," Kaidan said, and pressed a kiss on her forehead.

His last thought before he fell asleep was that skipping the usual rituals of hygiene for just one night wouldn't kill either of them.