(no subject)
I took the plunge today and removed Mark from my Faebook, Twitter and Internet life at large. It was in a hungover haze, so it felt liberating until sobriety started affecting me around the afternoon and all the sudden I was obsessing over it. When it happened I send him an e-mail explaining my actions, I thought it the right thing to do after all. It wasn't a decision born out of resentment or animosity, it's just that I can't honestly can't bear to see him online when I also can't feel comfortable reaching out to him in the real world. It's just not fair, and it's why I blocked him.
He responded like a good boy in a short and understanding manner. He thanked me for being straightfoward, but only took one sentence to say so. Then he told me to 'take care to' and that was it. The last communication we will have until July most likely. Hopefully by then I'll be beyond him and have no interest in communication even when he's back in the states. But we'll see.me
So now I'm stuck with loneliness like a bout of lung cancer hanging around. It fills up me every day, making things more difficult. I wish I could just love him forever, but he's making it so impossible that no one thing could ever make a difference I don't think.
He responded like a good boy in a short and understanding manner. He thanked me for being straightfoward, but only took one sentence to say so. Then he told me to 'take care to' and that was it. The last communication we will have until July most likely. Hopefully by then I'll be beyond him and have no interest in communication even when he's back in the states. But we'll see.me
So now I'm stuck with loneliness like a bout of lung cancer hanging around. It fills up me every day, making things more difficult. I wish I could just love him forever, but he's making it so impossible that no one thing could ever make a difference I don't think.