happy little christmas [1 of 2]
Title: happy little christmas
Authoress: Xenobia4
Rating: R
Genre: Angst
Pairing: Steve/Tony - Clint/Natasha
Summary: After an attack, some things end up changing Tony's life forever
A/N: I drew a comic and, after reading it, my friends demanded I write a fanfic to match it. There's also a link to the comic at the end.
-----
happy little christmas
…tap…tap…tap….
Snow fell outside the windows of Tony's top floor, hitting the streets of New York City below. Outside, the streets were decorated with Christmas lights, making the entire city glow even brighter: street lamps were decorated with garland and fluorescent blue lights, mock snowflakes hung on telephone poles, music drifted out from several stores while carolers were on the streets and filling the air with a bright cheer. Tourists and residents were walking the streets, the stress of the holidays finally coming to an end as the holiday was finally set in full swing. Everyone's stress had finally melted away, to where they would now get to celebrate with friends and family.
Everyone was together on this day, even if it was a father calling their family from a cellphone in the airport - they could still talk to the ones they loved.
But unlike most of New York - and most of the country - Tony Stark found himself alone on the holiday; not even Pepper had stopped by. Not that he expected her to. Hell, he did not expect anyone to come by, not after how he had been treating them.
How he had made sure to treat them.
The last time he had even seen any of the Avengers was when they had gotten together for Thanksgiving. He had made a complete ass out of himself. He had gotten drunk, pissed off Clint and Natasha by hitting on the latter, resulting in getting punched in the face by Clint; he had annoyed Bruce to the point where the physicist left halfway through the dinner and did not come back; he had even managed to piss of Thor by making fun of Loki, who, despite everything, was still the demigod's brother, who Thor would go to great lengths to defend; and then there was Steve, who he had been hanging all over in his drunken state and told him that he did not care if Steve fucked his, Tony's, dad - that he wanted Steve to "fuck him, too."
Easy enough to say that they distanced themselves after that fiasco.
Rhodey had been deployed since early summer and was not due back until the following summer and Pepper was with her family after he told her to not worry about the next two weeks. That and he knew she would end up spending the time with Happy, even if she thought he was unaware of the duo's budding romance.
People would question why Tony Stark was spending the holiday alone.
In the beginning of November, there had been an attempt on Tony's life - another protest against his company, despite the fact Stark Enterprises had moved to only manufacturing clean energy. He had been walking through Manhattan when he managed to walk right into a protest rally. A fight ensued and he wound up getting pushed to the ground and hitting his head on the sidewalk. He woke up with an officer leaning over him and shining one of those blasted flashlights in his eyes, saying something about how he had a concussion and was waiting on a bus to his fellow officer. Despite trying to tell the officers he was fine, they said they needed to get him checked out and, legally, could not leave him, knowing he had a concussion. At the hospital, he was given and MRI.
And that was when everything he had known and completely flipped upside down.
What should have been a routine checkup that he would be done with ended up being a moment that would change his life.
A brain tumor.
A malignant, inoperable brain tumor.
Pushing against his front cortex.
The doctors said he would be lucky to make it to the New Year.
The past month and a half was spent trying to get everything set to make sure his company and his technologies would be taken care of. He had everything stored in JARVIS's hard drive.
Ready to be read off when they were accessed after his death.
They always said that one would never know when a brain tumor would claim a life, but Tony begged to differ. He knew that tonight was going to be his last night. He could sense it and the pain grew day by day. Tonight it was oddly calm - no headaches or anything.
The calm before the storm.
This was why he wanted to be alone - why he purposefully pushed everyone he cared about away. If they hated him, they would not care if he died. They would not miss him; and that was what he wanted. He would rather suffer alone, than have people feel bad for him - pity him.
He inhaled as he leaned back against the headboard and shut his eyes, listening to the silence around him. The only light that leaked into the room was from the lights outside - the white-blue, red and green lights that lit up the city as they reflected off of the white snow. He lightly opened his eyes, leaving them only halfway. After another moment's pause, he spoke into the darkness, "Shutdown, JARVIS."
The A.I's voice flooded into the room: "Sir, I don't think that to be wise."
Exhaling a fake laugh through his nose, Tony stared down at the white bed sheets on his lap, somewhat tracing his eyes along his for-once-modest sleepwear: blue and white striped sleep shirt and pants. "Contact Dr. Banner in the morning. He'll make sure you're running smoothly."
"Sir-"
"Please, JARVIS," Tony cut the unit off, staring up at the ceiling, as though trying to physically look at the A.I. "I want to be alone for this."
For a small while, JARVIS did not respond.
He knew that JARVIS would eventually adapt to human behavior, including emotions, but he never knew that it would be just as difficult (if not even more difficult) to say goodbye to the one thing - the one system - that had been there for him, even when he had no one. He had grown attached to the unit, more-so than he could to any human, if that made any logical sense at all.
Finally, JARVIS's voice came back over. "…yes, sir." Tony nodded and forced a smile as he shut his eyes and allowed his head to fall back in front. "…goodnight, sir."
For the first time since he had been diagnosed with the tumor, water fell down his face. An allotted amount of silence from the unit gave the notion that the unit had shut itself down, as per his request. The moment of silence became longer and he began reflecting on everything: everything he had done wrong and the few things he had done right.
Though the others may hate, even despise him, they were still close with each other.
And that was something he had done right.
He would much rather have it to where they hated him than each other; at least he could give that.
With nothing in the room, sans his own breath, the headache that had abandoned him all day came back. His eyes clamped shut and his hands forced themselves over his ears as a loud noise invaded his head as the tumor pressed on the olfactory nerve, causing a painful ringing. He fell onto his side, practically entangling himself in the sheets as he tried to press down harder on his ears, trying to cut out the noise the emanated from his own brain. Blood dripped down his nose as he began yelling and crying for it to stop.
But the noise just continued to grow louder and louder.
He writhed on the bed, kicking everything off of him and around him as the pain increased with the sound.
And then….
It stopped.
Silence was left in the room.
Not even the sound of Tony's breathing to give noise.
And as the snow continued to fall from the sky outside, and as Tony lay limp on the bed with his hands by his ears, his face relaxed as blood dripped from his nose and ears, JARVIS's voice broke back over the com and, in a soft whisper, came out with:
"…goodbye, sir…."
Short and very depressing.
ARGH. Anyway. Please review and let me know what you thought. If enough people want, I might do a second chapter that includes the others' reactions. I may or may not. All depends. Lol. On my MUSE and whether or not she decides to skip off to Hawaii.
Link to the comic that started it: happy little christmas ~COMIC
Authoress: Xenobia4
Rating: R
Genre: Angst
Pairing: Steve/Tony - Clint/Natasha
Summary: After an attack, some things end up changing Tony's life forever
A/N: I drew a comic and, after reading it, my friends demanded I write a fanfic to match it. There's also a link to the comic at the end.
-----
happy little christmas
…tap…tap…tap….
Snow fell outside the windows of Tony's top floor, hitting the streets of New York City below. Outside, the streets were decorated with Christmas lights, making the entire city glow even brighter: street lamps were decorated with garland and fluorescent blue lights, mock snowflakes hung on telephone poles, music drifted out from several stores while carolers were on the streets and filling the air with a bright cheer. Tourists and residents were walking the streets, the stress of the holidays finally coming to an end as the holiday was finally set in full swing. Everyone's stress had finally melted away, to where they would now get to celebrate with friends and family.
Everyone was together on this day, even if it was a father calling their family from a cellphone in the airport - they could still talk to the ones they loved.
But unlike most of New York - and most of the country - Tony Stark found himself alone on the holiday; not even Pepper had stopped by. Not that he expected her to. Hell, he did not expect anyone to come by, not after how he had been treating them.
How he had made sure to treat them.
The last time he had even seen any of the Avengers was when they had gotten together for Thanksgiving. He had made a complete ass out of himself. He had gotten drunk, pissed off Clint and Natasha by hitting on the latter, resulting in getting punched in the face by Clint; he had annoyed Bruce to the point where the physicist left halfway through the dinner and did not come back; he had even managed to piss of Thor by making fun of Loki, who, despite everything, was still the demigod's brother, who Thor would go to great lengths to defend; and then there was Steve, who he had been hanging all over in his drunken state and told him that he did not care if Steve fucked his, Tony's, dad - that he wanted Steve to "fuck him, too."
Easy enough to say that they distanced themselves after that fiasco.
Rhodey had been deployed since early summer and was not due back until the following summer and Pepper was with her family after he told her to not worry about the next two weeks. That and he knew she would end up spending the time with Happy, even if she thought he was unaware of the duo's budding romance.
People would question why Tony Stark was spending the holiday alone.
In the beginning of November, there had been an attempt on Tony's life - another protest against his company, despite the fact Stark Enterprises had moved to only manufacturing clean energy. He had been walking through Manhattan when he managed to walk right into a protest rally. A fight ensued and he wound up getting pushed to the ground and hitting his head on the sidewalk. He woke up with an officer leaning over him and shining one of those blasted flashlights in his eyes, saying something about how he had a concussion and was waiting on a bus to his fellow officer. Despite trying to tell the officers he was fine, they said they needed to get him checked out and, legally, could not leave him, knowing he had a concussion. At the hospital, he was given and MRI.
And that was when everything he had known and completely flipped upside down.
What should have been a routine checkup that he would be done with ended up being a moment that would change his life.
A brain tumor.
A malignant, inoperable brain tumor.
Pushing against his front cortex.
The doctors said he would be lucky to make it to the New Year.
The past month and a half was spent trying to get everything set to make sure his company and his technologies would be taken care of. He had everything stored in JARVIS's hard drive.
Ready to be read off when they were accessed after his death.
They always said that one would never know when a brain tumor would claim a life, but Tony begged to differ. He knew that tonight was going to be his last night. He could sense it and the pain grew day by day. Tonight it was oddly calm - no headaches or anything.
The calm before the storm.
This was why he wanted to be alone - why he purposefully pushed everyone he cared about away. If they hated him, they would not care if he died. They would not miss him; and that was what he wanted. He would rather suffer alone, than have people feel bad for him - pity him.
He inhaled as he leaned back against the headboard and shut his eyes, listening to the silence around him. The only light that leaked into the room was from the lights outside - the white-blue, red and green lights that lit up the city as they reflected off of the white snow. He lightly opened his eyes, leaving them only halfway. After another moment's pause, he spoke into the darkness, "Shutdown, JARVIS."
The A.I's voice flooded into the room: "Sir, I don't think that to be wise."
Exhaling a fake laugh through his nose, Tony stared down at the white bed sheets on his lap, somewhat tracing his eyes along his for-once-modest sleepwear: blue and white striped sleep shirt and pants. "Contact Dr. Banner in the morning. He'll make sure you're running smoothly."
"Sir-"
"Please, JARVIS," Tony cut the unit off, staring up at the ceiling, as though trying to physically look at the A.I. "I want to be alone for this."
For a small while, JARVIS did not respond.
He knew that JARVIS would eventually adapt to human behavior, including emotions, but he never knew that it would be just as difficult (if not even more difficult) to say goodbye to the one thing - the one system - that had been there for him, even when he had no one. He had grown attached to the unit, more-so than he could to any human, if that made any logical sense at all.
Finally, JARVIS's voice came back over. "…yes, sir." Tony nodded and forced a smile as he shut his eyes and allowed his head to fall back in front. "…goodnight, sir."
For the first time since he had been diagnosed with the tumor, water fell down his face. An allotted amount of silence from the unit gave the notion that the unit had shut itself down, as per his request. The moment of silence became longer and he began reflecting on everything: everything he had done wrong and the few things he had done right.
Though the others may hate, even despise him, they were still close with each other.
And that was something he had done right.
He would much rather have it to where they hated him than each other; at least he could give that.
With nothing in the room, sans his own breath, the headache that had abandoned him all day came back. His eyes clamped shut and his hands forced themselves over his ears as a loud noise invaded his head as the tumor pressed on the olfactory nerve, causing a painful ringing. He fell onto his side, practically entangling himself in the sheets as he tried to press down harder on his ears, trying to cut out the noise the emanated from his own brain. Blood dripped down his nose as he began yelling and crying for it to stop.
But the noise just continued to grow louder and louder.
He writhed on the bed, kicking everything off of him and around him as the pain increased with the sound.
And then….
It stopped.
Silence was left in the room.
Not even the sound of Tony's breathing to give noise.
And as the snow continued to fall from the sky outside, and as Tony lay limp on the bed with his hands by his ears, his face relaxed as blood dripped from his nose and ears, JARVIS's voice broke back over the com and, in a soft whisper, came out with:
"…goodbye, sir…."
Short and very depressing.
ARGH. Anyway. Please review and let me know what you thought. If enough people want, I might do a second chapter that includes the others' reactions. I may or may not. All depends. Lol. On my MUSE and whether or not she decides to skip off to Hawaii.
Link to the comic that started it: happy little christmas ~COMIC