A dose of Seriousness
Hey everybody.
Lastely I have been feeling a little bummed out. Mostly because I have not been communicating or seeing me close friends.
But mostly because I feel adrift in the sea of hearts. I see so many people who are so happy together, but what holds me back? Is it that I have not found the right person for me, or is it that I just don't want somebody, or is it something else.
Sometimes I feel like I give, and give, and give, and I get nothing in return. 99% of the time I don't expect something in return. But really what am I doing wrong here? Should I just stop givng out so much of my energy to help other people? Just not help. Really what am I going to do. I trust and care about all my friends, but sometimes I do feel un-appreciated, (This is not directed at anyone in particular).
Is my wanting to help everyone out of sincerety or a need for approval?
When do I draw the line in the sand and say, "No more".
I am not really depressed in this post, but I am a little 'drawn' from things. Wondering if perhaps there was something I could have done in the past 10 years that could have made me better at being a person.
I really really wish I could just take a trip away to Europe or something and just breathe, but my foxhole is too deep at the moment. My prob.
I don't know.
And why is it that so many people I know are reactionary people now? Socially reactive. They don't do or call until someone does it first. I have taken a stand of being somewhat reactionary over the last few weeks and I find it frustrating. Good friendships seem to falter and slowly wither without support. And there are some people I want to be better friends to but I never hear or see them. Thats partially my fault too. I share the blame.
Oh well just some verbal Diharea here.
++++++++++ Rant Ends ++++++++++
Lastely I have been feeling a little bummed out. Mostly because I have not been communicating or seeing me close friends.
But mostly because I feel adrift in the sea of hearts. I see so many people who are so happy together, but what holds me back? Is it that I have not found the right person for me, or is it that I just don't want somebody, or is it something else.
Sometimes I feel like I give, and give, and give, and I get nothing in return. 99% of the time I don't expect something in return. But really what am I doing wrong here? Should I just stop givng out so much of my energy to help other people? Just not help. Really what am I going to do. I trust and care about all my friends, but sometimes I do feel un-appreciated, (This is not directed at anyone in particular).
Is my wanting to help everyone out of sincerety or a need for approval?
When do I draw the line in the sand and say, "No more".
I am not really depressed in this post, but I am a little 'drawn' from things. Wondering if perhaps there was something I could have done in the past 10 years that could have made me better at being a person.
I really really wish I could just take a trip away to Europe or something and just breathe, but my foxhole is too deep at the moment. My prob.
I don't know.
And why is it that so many people I know are reactionary people now? Socially reactive. They don't do or call until someone does it first. I have taken a stand of being somewhat reactionary over the last few weeks and I find it frustrating. Good friendships seem to falter and slowly wither without support. And there are some people I want to be better friends to but I never hear or see them. Thats partially my fault too. I share the blame.
Oh well just some verbal Diharea here.
++++++++++ Rant Ends ++++++++++