Rock Paper Scissors Chapter Five
Summary: Sam should've know Dean would pick scissors. He always picks scissors...
"You don't understand," Castiel retorted, weakly; his gaze falling back to the floor. "The war in Heaven...without the souls we should have acquired during the Apocalypse, before you stopped it, has driven to our wit's end. It was the only thing I could think of that would make a difference; though small, a difference, nonetheless."
"So that 'I wanted you to meet Fate' line was a load of crap?" Dean grunted.
"No," he met his eyes. "Understanding Fate was a side-trip that became necessary, once I realized that my decision was flawed. I understood the possibility that Sam's wall might be affected, if we changed the time-line again. But at the time, I'd had no intention of changing it back. For that," he turned to the younger brother, "I am truly sorry, Sam."
Sam should've been angry. He felt like he should be, anyway. But the honesty and regret he saw in the angel's eyes, prevented him from getting to that point. Castiel had done what he thought had to be done; what he thought was best. Though it hadn't really been thought through on all angles, his intentions had been good. Not to mention, he'd reversed the already insane idea and gave up on a plan that would've actually probably worked, in order to spare him and Dean the suffering that would've come, had he left the time-line the way they'd changed it.
Sam knew how it felt to have thought you were doing something good; to have gone against all his better judgment under the stipulation that no matter what awful things he had to do, it was for the greater good...and then have been completely and utterly wrong; having hurt the people you love, the most.
The look in Castiel's eyes made him remember that feeling. That longing that he could go back and take back what he'd done, had he only known what he knew now. It was a terrible feeling. He found it difficult to be upset with him; that feeling was punishment enough.
"How do we fix it?" Dean asked before Sam could reply.
Castiel looked up at him with furrowed brows, "It would be...unwise to attempt, and most likely impossible-"
"Well, shouldn't we at least try?" Dean interrupted.
"It would be dangerous," the angel continued, "Not only for you, but especially for Sam. The wall was moved within the bounds of time; not by means of man or power. If you were to try and manipulate it in any way, it would be worse than 'scratching' it. You could end up destroying it, altogether."
Dean ran a frustrated hand through his hair and turned, slightly, away from the other two. "So we're just supposed to let this be how it is?" he asked, a few moments later. "Just...assume there's nothin' else on the wrong side of the wall, that could trigger another episode?"
Castiel cocked his head a bit, looking from Dean, to Sam, "I would suggest no longer playing this...game that you mentioned, anymore. It's my understanding that Sam usually wins, anyway. Perhaps whenever you feel you'd normally use it in one of your decisions, then you should simply go with Sam's plan." Dean gave the angel an incredulous look. "It would have inevitably turned in that direction, anyway," Castiel defended.
Dean looked at Sam, who had a slight smile on his face as he met his brother's eyes. "Yeah, I'm sure you're just eatin' this up, aren't you," Dean shook his head, though slightly amused by Sam's seemingly more relaxed stature.
Sam shrugged, "It's not the most ideal situation. But it could've been a lot worse," he raised his brows.
"It could be a lot worse, Sam!" Dean retorted. "We've got no idea what else might set you off."
"I'm not the Incredible Hulk, Dean," he let out a small laugh. "I'm not being 'set off'. We just need to be more aware of when there's something you think I should know, that I've forgotten, and make sure I don't try and force myself to remember. That's all..."
"You make it sound so simple," Dean retorted, sarcastically.
"Sam is right," Castiel chimed in. "As long as he's unaware that it's something he should remember, he won't try to think about it. That should be enough to keep him from scratching at the wall. In this case, rather,unknowingly scratching at the wall."
"I get that part, Cas," Dean plopped back down in the chair. "What I'm concerned about is what he's forgotten. What if it's something important?" his brows furrowed, worriedly. "I mean, what if there's a moment where a last-minute decision pops up, and he just doesn't have a damn clue, because the logical answer is on the other side of that wall?"
Sam ingested what his brother had asked the angel, then turned, looking at Castiel for an answer he wasn't sure he had.
Castiel was considering the question, when suddenly, his gaze shifted somewhere behind them, at nothing in particular. "I must go," he told them, standing from the chair. "I'm needed. I will inquire about this dilemma, I promise you. I owe you both that much," he promised.
With that, he was gone; leaving the brothers alone once more...
Chapter Six
"You don't understand," Castiel retorted, weakly; his gaze falling back to the floor. "The war in Heaven...without the souls we should have acquired during the Apocalypse, before you stopped it, has driven to our wit's end. It was the only thing I could think of that would make a difference; though small, a difference, nonetheless."
"So that 'I wanted you to meet Fate' line was a load of crap?" Dean grunted.
"No," he met his eyes. "Understanding Fate was a side-trip that became necessary, once I realized that my decision was flawed. I understood the possibility that Sam's wall might be affected, if we changed the time-line again. But at the time, I'd had no intention of changing it back. For that," he turned to the younger brother, "I am truly sorry, Sam."
Sam should've been angry. He felt like he should be, anyway. But the honesty and regret he saw in the angel's eyes, prevented him from getting to that point. Castiel had done what he thought had to be done; what he thought was best. Though it hadn't really been thought through on all angles, his intentions had been good. Not to mention, he'd reversed the already insane idea and gave up on a plan that would've actually probably worked, in order to spare him and Dean the suffering that would've come, had he left the time-line the way they'd changed it.
Sam knew how it felt to have thought you were doing something good; to have gone against all his better judgment under the stipulation that no matter what awful things he had to do, it was for the greater good...and then have been completely and utterly wrong; having hurt the people you love, the most.
The look in Castiel's eyes made him remember that feeling. That longing that he could go back and take back what he'd done, had he only known what he knew now. It was a terrible feeling. He found it difficult to be upset with him; that feeling was punishment enough.
"How do we fix it?" Dean asked before Sam could reply.
Castiel looked up at him with furrowed brows, "It would be...unwise to attempt, and most likely impossible-"
"Well, shouldn't we at least try?" Dean interrupted.
"It would be dangerous," the angel continued, "Not only for you, but especially for Sam. The wall was moved within the bounds of time; not by means of man or power. If you were to try and manipulate it in any way, it would be worse than 'scratching' it. You could end up destroying it, altogether."
Dean ran a frustrated hand through his hair and turned, slightly, away from the other two. "So we're just supposed to let this be how it is?" he asked, a few moments later. "Just...assume there's nothin' else on the wrong side of the wall, that could trigger another episode?"
Castiel cocked his head a bit, looking from Dean, to Sam, "I would suggest no longer playing this...game that you mentioned, anymore. It's my understanding that Sam usually wins, anyway. Perhaps whenever you feel you'd normally use it in one of your decisions, then you should simply go with Sam's plan." Dean gave the angel an incredulous look. "It would have inevitably turned in that direction, anyway," Castiel defended.
Dean looked at Sam, who had a slight smile on his face as he met his brother's eyes. "Yeah, I'm sure you're just eatin' this up, aren't you," Dean shook his head, though slightly amused by Sam's seemingly more relaxed stature.
Sam shrugged, "It's not the most ideal situation. But it could've been a lot worse," he raised his brows.
"It could be a lot worse, Sam!" Dean retorted. "We've got no idea what else might set you off."
"I'm not the Incredible Hulk, Dean," he let out a small laugh. "I'm not being 'set off'. We just need to be more aware of when there's something you think I should know, that I've forgotten, and make sure I don't try and force myself to remember. That's all..."
"You make it sound so simple," Dean retorted, sarcastically.
"Sam is right," Castiel chimed in. "As long as he's unaware that it's something he should remember, he won't try to think about it. That should be enough to keep him from scratching at the wall. In this case, rather,unknowingly scratching at the wall."
"I get that part, Cas," Dean plopped back down in the chair. "What I'm concerned about is what he's forgotten. What if it's something important?" his brows furrowed, worriedly. "I mean, what if there's a moment where a last-minute decision pops up, and he just doesn't have a damn clue, because the logical answer is on the other side of that wall?"
Sam ingested what his brother had asked the angel, then turned, looking at Castiel for an answer he wasn't sure he had.
Castiel was considering the question, when suddenly, his gaze shifted somewhere behind them, at nothing in particular. "I must go," he told them, standing from the chair. "I'm needed. I will inquire about this dilemma, I promise you. I owe you both that much," he promised.
With that, he was gone; leaving the brothers alone once more...
Chapter Six