Chapter 2A Living in the Past
“I need to explain a little something to you Eve.” Sarah said as she adjusted her pack on her shoulder while they walked through the Amazon woods. “It’s a sacred trust between friends and breaking it denotes a great lack of respect for the offended party.”
“What is it?” Eve asked, worried she’d somehow committed this atrocity.
“I’m sure there are more technical and PC terms for it, but me and my buddies back home used to call it the ‘cock block’.” Sarah explained.
“Cock block.” Eve repeated.
“Right.” Sarah continued. “You see a ‘cock block’ is an individual who impedes her buddy’s progress with the object of their affection. Last night I might have very well shared a bed with that nice lady that I didn’t know, but you impeded that process. That makes you a cock block.”
Eve simply rolled her eyes, but Sarah continued.
“Though the terminology is a bit misogynistic in nature I’ve always thought the interchanging of the word cunt for cock to be a little over the top feministic. The point is you never want to be a cock block. You want to be a wingman.”
“Right, and what’s a ‘wingman’?” She asked, indulging her friend.
“Ah a wingman is a friend who actually helps you seal the deal. There are a variety of efforts that can be considered wingmanesque, but we won’t get ahead of ourselves with the more complicated aspects of best bud bar etiquette. All you need to understand is that what happened last night need not be repeated unless you want to suffer ungodly amounts of karmic misfortune in the getting laid department.” She said, with a clap to the messengers shoulder.
Eve looked up at her and smiled.
“You do realize that when you get like this I only understand every other word you say, right?” She asked.
“Yep, that’s why I made you some notes.” Sarah said as she rummaged inside her jacket for a piece of paper and handed it to her friend.
As Eve perused the notes she laughed to herself about the contents. It even had pictorial examples.
“You know, even had I known about this whole cock block/wingman business, I still would have stopped you from sleeping with that woman. She seemed dangerous; I got a bad vibe off of her.” Eve said.
“Yes, but I’m immortal and even if she did try to kill me I’d come out on top… possibly in more ways than one.” Sarah said with a smirk.
“You really are incorrigible, you know that!” Eve softly slapped her on the shoulder. “And if you are truly being honest your view of women is absolutely appalling. Is that all they are to you? A conquest?”
“No, of course not. “ Sarah said defensively. “Look I’m not trying to pull a Shane here and leave a slew of broken hearts all over the West Hollywood of ancient Greece, but if by some miracle I get hit on by some tall, dark and mysterious chick I’d like at least the chance to get to know her better in private. Is that so much to ask?”
“Again, with the not understanding you.” Eve said. “Can you please at least try not to make references to things that don’t even exist yet?”
“Alright, alright.” Sarah caved, and moved to face Eve and place her hands on her shoulders. “All I’m saying is that I’m a big girl and I can take care of myself, especially with that whole immortal thing going on. So I’d appreciate it if next time we’re in a bar, you give me some breathing room with possible romantic encounters. Are we cool?”
Eve exhaled a sigh of submission.
“We’re cool.” She said with a shake of her head and a small smile before Sarah smiled back and they started walking again.
“Were you really going to sleep with her?” Eve asked.
Sarah smiled softly then shook her head. “No, probably not.”
“Why not?” Eve asked.
“Because it’s very likely that I’ll never see her again, and I’m not really into the whole one night stand thing.” She said.
“Then why this ridiculous wingman speech?” She asked.
Sarah sighed and looked up at the afternoon sky. “Because she really looked like she’d be a great kisser.”
Eve chuckled.
They walked for a few more minutes in silence when a thought occurred to Sarah.
“What are your rules about sex?” She asked. “Being that you’re like an instrument of God and everything.”
“What do you mean?” Eve asked. “I don’t live under any sexual restrictions, why would the God of Eli ask that of me?”
“Because it’s a part of nearly every major religion in the modern world.” Sarah said.
“Well it’s not a part of Eli’s plan, I can tell you that.” Eve said. “Love is the truest path one can follow. How can an intimate expression of romantic love be wrong?”
“Hey, I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Sarah raised her hands and paused for a bit before asking her next question. “So…how long has it been for ya?”
Eve dropped her jaw and looked at Sarah. “Please tell me that you didn’t just ask about my sex life.”
“Hey, we’re pals now right.” Sarah said in mild defense. “This is what girls do they talk about sex all the time.”
“Well I certainly don’t.” Eve said. “Some things are just private.”
“Fine.” Sarah said, looking at the ground before mumbling “Rada would have told me.”
“Oh Rada would have told you!” Eve threw up her hands. “Please ask the question again so I can attempt to be more like the Slavic wonder.”
“Hey, easy there cowgirl. That’s one of my friends you’re talking about.” Sarah said with a smirk.
“Well, I’m still not discussing my past sexual experiences.” She said.
“Fine.” Sarah said. “We’ll discuss possible future interludes. You got your eye on anyone?”
Again the messenger’s mouth dropped, but this time she smiled.
“I’m not talking to you about that either.” She said. “Boy, you’re intrusive.”
“Oh, come on Eve. You’re my only means of entertainment right now. At least give me a little something to think about other than the fact that I’m starting to wear a bunion on my right toe.”
Eve crossed her arms for a few seconds, and then gave in.
“Alright. “She said. “There is someone that I have feelings for, but… It just wouldn’t work out.”
“Why?” Sarah asked.
“Because I’ve caused them a great deal of pain. I can’t imagine them ever wanting to be with me like that.” She said.
“Oh great, we’re playing the pronoun game.” Sarah said. “You do know you can tell me if it’s a her, right?”
“Maybe I don’t want to tell you too much about them because I don’t want you to figure out who it is.” The messenger said.
“Oooo. That’s even better.” Sarah said. “We could make a game out of it to pass the time.”
“What?” Eve asked.
“Hey, I’m asking the questions here.” Sarah said, as she thought. “Ok, let’s see. Well the first one’s obvious, but I’ll go ahead and ask anyway. Is the object of your affection a woman?”
“Can we please talk about something else?” Eve asked.
“It’s either this or your past romps in the sack, you decide.” Sarah said.
Eve sighed in resignation. “Yes it’s a woman.”
“I knew it.” Sarah said. “Have I met her?”
Eve started to answer but before she could so much as utter a syllable an arrow rained down from the trees and landed at her feet.
“Whoa!” Sarah said, drawing her bat.
Eve yanked it out of her hand then yelled at her. “Are you crazy? That’s an Amazon arrow, now clasp your hands above your head before you end up losing an eyeball.”
Sarah did as she was instructed and within seconds half a dozen Amazons dropped down from the trees. One of them approached the two women and took her mask off to reveal dark features and dangerous eyes.
“Eve.” She said, addressing the messenger. “We weren’t expecting you for a few more days. Who’s your friend?” She looked toward Sarah.
“Varia, meet Sarah.” Eve said, dropping her hands. “Sarah, this is Varia, queen of the Greek Amazons.”
Sarah dropped her hands and extended one of them after shaking off the open mouthed stare she had plastered on her face. If all the Amazons looked like Varia, living in the past might not be so bad after all.
They walked for just under a mile before reaching the camp. Most of the talking was done by Eve and Varia, both trying to catch each other up on the current events of their individual situations. The stone was not mentioned amongst the other Amazons for privacy purposes, and Sarah was nearly foaming at the mouth to find out where she could start looking.
“How’ve you been?” Varia asked, after all the formalities were out of the way.
Eve looked up in surprise. “Um… good…considering the circumstances I guess. You?”
“The same.” The queen said. “We’re having some trouble with the younger Amazons though. They don’t seem to want to stay in the camp at night and there are apparently some brigands about. We’ve lost three of our sisters in the last four moons.”
“That’s terrible.” Eve said with concern. “Have they been found?”
“No, that’s just it.” Varia said with frustration. “We find their weapons on the ground and blood nearby, but no bodies. We don’t know what’s happened to them.”
“Are there any enemies nearby? Is the camp under attack?” Eve asked.
“It doesn’t seem so.” Varia said. “If there is a threat they haven’t made any demands or even shown their faces. It’s so strange. Now we just keep everyone in at night and put the guards at the gate on high alert. We can’t afford to risk a perimeter watch.”
“I’m glad you’re safe.” Eve said, softly touching Varia’s bicep, and then quickly removing it once the queen had noticed the physical contact. “The tribe needs a strong leader. It would be terrible for them to lose you.” She said hastily.
“Right.” Varia said, tearing her eyes away from Eve’s. “We’ve been very fortunate not to have an attack inside the village.”
She paused for a moment, and then spoke again, her eyes never leaving the path ahead. “I’m glad we found you when we did. Nightfall will be coming soon and I wouldn’t want anything to happen to you.” She said, finally looking at Eve, but once the messenger’s eyes met her own she added; “You know…Xena would kill me herself if anything happened to you.”
Eve looked down and gave a small chuckle. “That she would.”
Sarah was watching the entire scene with rapt attention. The small looks that the Queen and the Messenger were giving each other did not go unnoticed, and neither did the cautious dialogue. They walked for a few more minutes in silence before Varia announced that she was going to run ahead to prepare the camp for visitors.
As she ran off Eve’s eyes followed her along the path.
Sarah moved in close to the messenger and leaned to whisper in her ear. “I’d like to solve the puzzle, Pat.”
“What?” Eve said, drawn out of her reverie.
“I think I’ve figured out the answer to all those little questions I was asking you earlier.” She said with a smirk.
“And if you have any interest in keeping your tongue in your mouth you’ll hold it until we’re in private.” Eve said through clenched teeth.
Sarah was a bit taken aback. “Um, I thought you were supposed to be non-violent.”
“Well you’re not exactly mortal and you’re annoying enough to even get on Eli’s bad side. I think they’d let just one act of insanity slide.” Eve said.
“Noted.” Sarah said, tabling the discussion for a more private time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As they walked through the Amazon camp Sarah and Eve were feeling very different emotions. Eve was nervous and filled with trepidation as she looked over the Amazons standing there to greet them. Some of their faces still showed the hatred they felt about her raid on the camp so many years ago, but some were more curious than hateful. It was the younger group that might possibly give her a chance. There was still too much pain left with the older ones.
Sarah could only think one thing as she surveyed her surroundings.
My God, these girls hate clothing. I feel like I’m on Survivor: Bikini Island. Not that it’s a bad thing.
“Sarah!”
She realized Eve had been speaking to her and tried to regroup. “Um, yeah, sorry. Just a little tired from the trek that’s all.”
Eve’s look told her she knew exactly what the problem was. “We’ve been summoned to the queen’s chambers for a private consultation.”
“Right!” She said. “We should…” Her eyes followed an even more scantily clad Amazon walking out of the steam room back to her hut. “…go then.”
Eve dragged her in the right direction and she tried to shake the Neanderthal mentality out of her head.
“Could somebody please explain to me what that new girl was wearing?” Zoe asked the group of girls sewing wine skins once the topic of conversation was out of earshot.
Meg looked up from her work and scanned the girls retreating form. “I don’t know. It’s weird, whatever it is. Maybe she’s one of those rejected Spartan babies that have to fend for themselves in the woods. She may have made her own clothes.”
“What girl? There’s a new girl?” Rah asked, as she stood to get a look at who they were talking about.
“You missed her; she already went into the queen’s hut.” Zoe said to Rah then addressed Meg. “And they don’t send the female Spartan babies out into the wild, sweetie, it’s just the males.”
“Was she attractive?” Rah asked, still looking in the direction of the tent.
Both Meg and Zoe simply rolled their eyes and went back to the sewing. It had been a while since Rah had a girlfriend, and it had been even longer since someone new had come into the camp.
.
“What is it?” Eve asked, worried she’d somehow committed this atrocity.
“I’m sure there are more technical and PC terms for it, but me and my buddies back home used to call it the ‘cock block’.” Sarah explained.
“Cock block.” Eve repeated.
“Right.” Sarah continued. “You see a ‘cock block’ is an individual who impedes her buddy’s progress with the object of their affection. Last night I might have very well shared a bed with that nice lady that I didn’t know, but you impeded that process. That makes you a cock block.”
Eve simply rolled her eyes, but Sarah continued.
“Though the terminology is a bit misogynistic in nature I’ve always thought the interchanging of the word cunt for cock to be a little over the top feministic. The point is you never want to be a cock block. You want to be a wingman.”
“Right, and what’s a ‘wingman’?” She asked, indulging her friend.
“Ah a wingman is a friend who actually helps you seal the deal. There are a variety of efforts that can be considered wingmanesque, but we won’t get ahead of ourselves with the more complicated aspects of best bud bar etiquette. All you need to understand is that what happened last night need not be repeated unless you want to suffer ungodly amounts of karmic misfortune in the getting laid department.” She said, with a clap to the messengers shoulder.
Eve looked up at her and smiled.
“You do realize that when you get like this I only understand every other word you say, right?” She asked.
“Yep, that’s why I made you some notes.” Sarah said as she rummaged inside her jacket for a piece of paper and handed it to her friend.
As Eve perused the notes she laughed to herself about the contents. It even had pictorial examples.
“You know, even had I known about this whole cock block/wingman business, I still would have stopped you from sleeping with that woman. She seemed dangerous; I got a bad vibe off of her.” Eve said.
“Yes, but I’m immortal and even if she did try to kill me I’d come out on top… possibly in more ways than one.” Sarah said with a smirk.
“You really are incorrigible, you know that!” Eve softly slapped her on the shoulder. “And if you are truly being honest your view of women is absolutely appalling. Is that all they are to you? A conquest?”
“No, of course not. “ Sarah said defensively. “Look I’m not trying to pull a Shane here and leave a slew of broken hearts all over the West Hollywood of ancient Greece, but if by some miracle I get hit on by some tall, dark and mysterious chick I’d like at least the chance to get to know her better in private. Is that so much to ask?”
“Again, with the not understanding you.” Eve said. “Can you please at least try not to make references to things that don’t even exist yet?”
“Alright, alright.” Sarah caved, and moved to face Eve and place her hands on her shoulders. “All I’m saying is that I’m a big girl and I can take care of myself, especially with that whole immortal thing going on. So I’d appreciate it if next time we’re in a bar, you give me some breathing room with possible romantic encounters. Are we cool?”
Eve exhaled a sigh of submission.
“We’re cool.” She said with a shake of her head and a small smile before Sarah smiled back and they started walking again.
“Were you really going to sleep with her?” Eve asked.
Sarah smiled softly then shook her head. “No, probably not.”
“Why not?” Eve asked.
“Because it’s very likely that I’ll never see her again, and I’m not really into the whole one night stand thing.” She said.
“Then why this ridiculous wingman speech?” She asked.
Sarah sighed and looked up at the afternoon sky. “Because she really looked like she’d be a great kisser.”
Eve chuckled.
They walked for a few more minutes in silence when a thought occurred to Sarah.
“What are your rules about sex?” She asked. “Being that you’re like an instrument of God and everything.”
“What do you mean?” Eve asked. “I don’t live under any sexual restrictions, why would the God of Eli ask that of me?”
“Because it’s a part of nearly every major religion in the modern world.” Sarah said.
“Well it’s not a part of Eli’s plan, I can tell you that.” Eve said. “Love is the truest path one can follow. How can an intimate expression of romantic love be wrong?”
“Hey, I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Sarah raised her hands and paused for a bit before asking her next question. “So…how long has it been for ya?”
Eve dropped her jaw and looked at Sarah. “Please tell me that you didn’t just ask about my sex life.”
“Hey, we’re pals now right.” Sarah said in mild defense. “This is what girls do they talk about sex all the time.”
“Well I certainly don’t.” Eve said. “Some things are just private.”
“Fine.” Sarah said, looking at the ground before mumbling “Rada would have told me.”
“Oh Rada would have told you!” Eve threw up her hands. “Please ask the question again so I can attempt to be more like the Slavic wonder.”
“Hey, easy there cowgirl. That’s one of my friends you’re talking about.” Sarah said with a smirk.
“Well, I’m still not discussing my past sexual experiences.” She said.
“Fine.” Sarah said. “We’ll discuss possible future interludes. You got your eye on anyone?”
Again the messenger’s mouth dropped, but this time she smiled.
“I’m not talking to you about that either.” She said. “Boy, you’re intrusive.”
“Oh, come on Eve. You’re my only means of entertainment right now. At least give me a little something to think about other than the fact that I’m starting to wear a bunion on my right toe.”
Eve crossed her arms for a few seconds, and then gave in.
“Alright. “She said. “There is someone that I have feelings for, but… It just wouldn’t work out.”
“Why?” Sarah asked.
“Because I’ve caused them a great deal of pain. I can’t imagine them ever wanting to be with me like that.” She said.
“Oh great, we’re playing the pronoun game.” Sarah said. “You do know you can tell me if it’s a her, right?”
“Maybe I don’t want to tell you too much about them because I don’t want you to figure out who it is.” The messenger said.
“Oooo. That’s even better.” Sarah said. “We could make a game out of it to pass the time.”
“What?” Eve asked.
“Hey, I’m asking the questions here.” Sarah said, as she thought. “Ok, let’s see. Well the first one’s obvious, but I’ll go ahead and ask anyway. Is the object of your affection a woman?”
“Can we please talk about something else?” Eve asked.
“It’s either this or your past romps in the sack, you decide.” Sarah said.
Eve sighed in resignation. “Yes it’s a woman.”
“I knew it.” Sarah said. “Have I met her?”
Eve started to answer but before she could so much as utter a syllable an arrow rained down from the trees and landed at her feet.
“Whoa!” Sarah said, drawing her bat.
Eve yanked it out of her hand then yelled at her. “Are you crazy? That’s an Amazon arrow, now clasp your hands above your head before you end up losing an eyeball.”
Sarah did as she was instructed and within seconds half a dozen Amazons dropped down from the trees. One of them approached the two women and took her mask off to reveal dark features and dangerous eyes.
“Eve.” She said, addressing the messenger. “We weren’t expecting you for a few more days. Who’s your friend?” She looked toward Sarah.
“Varia, meet Sarah.” Eve said, dropping her hands. “Sarah, this is Varia, queen of the Greek Amazons.”
Sarah dropped her hands and extended one of them after shaking off the open mouthed stare she had plastered on her face. If all the Amazons looked like Varia, living in the past might not be so bad after all.
They walked for just under a mile before reaching the camp. Most of the talking was done by Eve and Varia, both trying to catch each other up on the current events of their individual situations. The stone was not mentioned amongst the other Amazons for privacy purposes, and Sarah was nearly foaming at the mouth to find out where she could start looking.
“How’ve you been?” Varia asked, after all the formalities were out of the way.
Eve looked up in surprise. “Um… good…considering the circumstances I guess. You?”
“The same.” The queen said. “We’re having some trouble with the younger Amazons though. They don’t seem to want to stay in the camp at night and there are apparently some brigands about. We’ve lost three of our sisters in the last four moons.”
“That’s terrible.” Eve said with concern. “Have they been found?”
“No, that’s just it.” Varia said with frustration. “We find their weapons on the ground and blood nearby, but no bodies. We don’t know what’s happened to them.”
“Are there any enemies nearby? Is the camp under attack?” Eve asked.
“It doesn’t seem so.” Varia said. “If there is a threat they haven’t made any demands or even shown their faces. It’s so strange. Now we just keep everyone in at night and put the guards at the gate on high alert. We can’t afford to risk a perimeter watch.”
“I’m glad you’re safe.” Eve said, softly touching Varia’s bicep, and then quickly removing it once the queen had noticed the physical contact. “The tribe needs a strong leader. It would be terrible for them to lose you.” She said hastily.
“Right.” Varia said, tearing her eyes away from Eve’s. “We’ve been very fortunate not to have an attack inside the village.”
She paused for a moment, and then spoke again, her eyes never leaving the path ahead. “I’m glad we found you when we did. Nightfall will be coming soon and I wouldn’t want anything to happen to you.” She said, finally looking at Eve, but once the messenger’s eyes met her own she added; “You know…Xena would kill me herself if anything happened to you.”
Eve looked down and gave a small chuckle. “That she would.”
Sarah was watching the entire scene with rapt attention. The small looks that the Queen and the Messenger were giving each other did not go unnoticed, and neither did the cautious dialogue. They walked for a few more minutes in silence before Varia announced that she was going to run ahead to prepare the camp for visitors.
As she ran off Eve’s eyes followed her along the path.
Sarah moved in close to the messenger and leaned to whisper in her ear. “I’d like to solve the puzzle, Pat.”
“What?” Eve said, drawn out of her reverie.
“I think I’ve figured out the answer to all those little questions I was asking you earlier.” She said with a smirk.
“And if you have any interest in keeping your tongue in your mouth you’ll hold it until we’re in private.” Eve said through clenched teeth.
Sarah was a bit taken aback. “Um, I thought you were supposed to be non-violent.”
“Well you’re not exactly mortal and you’re annoying enough to even get on Eli’s bad side. I think they’d let just one act of insanity slide.” Eve said.
“Noted.” Sarah said, tabling the discussion for a more private time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As they walked through the Amazon camp Sarah and Eve were feeling very different emotions. Eve was nervous and filled with trepidation as she looked over the Amazons standing there to greet them. Some of their faces still showed the hatred they felt about her raid on the camp so many years ago, but some were more curious than hateful. It was the younger group that might possibly give her a chance. There was still too much pain left with the older ones.
Sarah could only think one thing as she surveyed her surroundings.
My God, these girls hate clothing. I feel like I’m on Survivor: Bikini Island. Not that it’s a bad thing.
“Sarah!”
She realized Eve had been speaking to her and tried to regroup. “Um, yeah, sorry. Just a little tired from the trek that’s all.”
Eve’s look told her she knew exactly what the problem was. “We’ve been summoned to the queen’s chambers for a private consultation.”
“Right!” She said. “We should…” Her eyes followed an even more scantily clad Amazon walking out of the steam room back to her hut. “…go then.”
Eve dragged her in the right direction and she tried to shake the Neanderthal mentality out of her head.
“Could somebody please explain to me what that new girl was wearing?” Zoe asked the group of girls sewing wine skins once the topic of conversation was out of earshot.
Meg looked up from her work and scanned the girls retreating form. “I don’t know. It’s weird, whatever it is. Maybe she’s one of those rejected Spartan babies that have to fend for themselves in the woods. She may have made her own clothes.”
“What girl? There’s a new girl?” Rah asked, as she stood to get a look at who they were talking about.
“You missed her; she already went into the queen’s hut.” Zoe said to Rah then addressed Meg. “And they don’t send the female Spartan babies out into the wild, sweetie, it’s just the males.”
“Was she attractive?” Rah asked, still looking in the direction of the tent.
Both Meg and Zoe simply rolled their eyes and went back to the sewing. It had been a while since Rah had a girlfriend, and it had been even longer since someone new had come into the camp.
.