Meeee
Hellos, the reason i haven't posted in here is because... I dunno yo. Lol. Alot has happened man since last time i posted on this thing yo lmao... I say, 'lol's and lmaos' alot whenever i write in these things... Lol (see?) Anyways let me sum it up in a very easy post. Since December me and my brother joined american top team main facility in coconut creek and we started training with the pros just a little after a month of being there so that's cool. It feels like a step to the right direction, and... umm my jiu jitsu has gotten alot better from doing gi at ATT. And umm i've been competing like a mad man in grappling competitions, mma, and especially kickboxing. We just got done doing the IKF World Classic, me and brian got second. We had alot of fights and they were tough. It hurt to lose. It really did, in my last fight which was for first or second i got knocked down in the first then knocked down in the second. The fight just didn;t feel right man... I dunno, i wasn;t me. I remember doubting myself during the fight and man i dunno that's just not what i should be doing... I totally thought i was ganna win and i was just rdy for it, maybe even almost expecting.. And i dunno. I was a wreck before the tournament, on... friday night after the weigh ins and everything... I was laying in bed waiting for a txt response from Kris so i can talk to her and just let some of this pent up emotion out and vent some. She finally answered and we talked outside on the balcony for hours, good times it definitely helped man. But man... Losing like that infront of everyone who seemed like they were expecting me to win, god. It was hard. I hate getting real into it with anyone cuz i just don;t know if they understand and just think i;m maybe over reacting about it. I was holding back tears as i was walking back to the warm up area after the fights.. Man then finally i just sat down somewhere and burst into tears with my hoody over my head.. man i just thoguht about everything. EVERYTHING yo. like.. 'oh no what am i ganna tell my family?' 'Oh no what will i tell my friends?' 'Oh no what will i tell Kris? I was just talking to her last night. What will she think when she finds out how i lost" errrrr.... I've only seen the fight where i lose a few times. It's hard to see myself get dropped that bad. I haven't cried like that in forever. I forcefully got myselfover it and helped my brother out, cuz he needed me. Other then that, after i realize what we have accomplished i'm mad proud of ourselvs u kno.. I mean this makes us ATLEAST like top 5 in the nation and shit. I dunno, my train of thought just got cut off from soembody IM'ing me. I'll sum up everything into a nice bundle or realness. Well me and rachel aren;t talking anymore, cuz she hates me for not liking her back. Me and Kris have been chilling ALOT and it;s mad cool, i honestly don;t know what;s up with me and her lol. I hope she likes me the way i like her is all i gotta say man.. I dig it alot. I hope i get some more confirmation from her on how she feels. And now i'm ganna be chilling niggas.