Preoccupied.
It was just last night when I realized the worst possible thing that could ever happen to me is about to happen. I don't know what to do with myself now. I've been such a nervous wreck over the hours and it's going so fast for me, it's a sin.
Sorry, mom.... I know you always taught me not to hate and to always pray for your enemies and I'm sorry I'm screwing up again. But your ex-husband DESERVES to die.
I hate being a sinner. I hate my dad. I hate my dad.
I can't believe this. I always knew my dad was a cruel person by heart -it doesn't take a fricken degree to figure this one out. But what happened between him and me 3 years ago is different from this....This is now. And what he's doing is the most worst thing ANYONE could ever do to me... throw everything of mine away, give away my room and kick me out of his house, he can call me a erohw or hctib or a kcips or whatever it is he wants to call me, beat the shit out of me, reck my mental state and get all the glory out of it... he could do anything he wants to do to me and all it adds up will never be worse than what is going to happen to me now.
My brother and I are going to be seperated. For good, this time.
I was trying to talk to Alex, Jimmy, Sarah and Mike today. They all knew something was up, but they all still don't know. I don't know what to do with myself. How does anyone handle this kind of pain, knowing that someone you love so much is gonna go away and never come back again ever?? WHY THE HELL WAS I BORN INTO THIS FAMILY????? GOD, JUST....WHY????
Know what this means? When Sean's growing up, he's going to live his life hating me forever because his gnikcuf hero of a dad will repeatedly tell him that I was the bad guy who hated Sean and his father and that was why I stopped coming over to see him. All so "Daddy" can be looked upon as the good guy.
To break it all down: My brother who was like my baby to me has litterally been taken away from my life permanently. Supposedly, my dad is supposed to be gone forever, too, but I feel like I haven't heard the last of his threats just yet.
I don't fucking believe this.
Sorry, mom.... I know you always taught me not to hate and to always pray for your enemies and I'm sorry I'm screwing up again. But your ex-husband DESERVES to die.
I hate being a sinner. I hate my dad. I hate my dad.
I can't believe this. I always knew my dad was a cruel person by heart -it doesn't take a fricken degree to figure this one out. But what happened between him and me 3 years ago is different from this....This is now. And what he's doing is the most worst thing ANYONE could ever do to me... throw everything of mine away, give away my room and kick me out of his house, he can call me a erohw or hctib or a kcips or whatever it is he wants to call me, beat the shit out of me, reck my mental state and get all the glory out of it... he could do anything he wants to do to me and all it adds up will never be worse than what is going to happen to me now.
My brother and I are going to be seperated. For good, this time.
I was trying to talk to Alex, Jimmy, Sarah and Mike today. They all knew something was up, but they all still don't know. I don't know what to do with myself. How does anyone handle this kind of pain, knowing that someone you love so much is gonna go away and never come back again ever?? WHY THE HELL WAS I BORN INTO THIS FAMILY????? GOD, JUST....WHY????
Know what this means? When Sean's growing up, he's going to live his life hating me forever because his gnikcuf hero of a dad will repeatedly tell him that I was the bad guy who hated Sean and his father and that was why I stopped coming over to see him. All so "Daddy" can be looked upon as the good guy.
To break it all down: My brother who was like my baby to me has litterally been taken away from my life permanently. Supposedly, my dad is supposed to be gone forever, too, but I feel like I haven't heard the last of his threats just yet.
I don't fucking believe this.