The Alien Asylum: Episode 3
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Note: I apologize if anybody finds this offensive! I'm just working with what the sims gave me themselves.
Nathan: Yeah Malcom, I swear- I'm not living in an insane asylum, I'm living with a bunch of rejects from the village people! I just might be the straightest guy in this fruit bowl.
Yes, Nathan was talking to Malcom Landgraab on the phone- and this is what happened right when he answered it.
Marina: Aren't you so glad that you've finally kissed Komelien and not keeping all that love you have for him bottled up inside you, Cosmo?
Komelien: Hey Nate, you talking to Malcom again? Now that's my kind of ugly man. Those eyebrows- I just want to eat them up!
Nathan: So uh, can I pack my bags and come live with you? I'm so tired of being cooped up in here.
Nathan: Especially with Cosmelien- Boy, do they make me uncomfortable!
Unfortunately, since Nathan hasn't been anywhere else in Desiderata Valley, he doesn't realize that he probably would be even more disturbed by living with Malcom and his fiancee, Gunnar Roque.
Though that statement about him being the straightest guy in the Alien Asylum is pretty true. He's the only person to congratulate Marina on being hot so far.
And I noticed a hint of jealousy when Marina had Louis Aspir over that one night.
Nathan: Get the hell out of the way, old man! Can't you see I'm trying to do some dishes? Oh, and Marina deserves so much better than your wrinkly ass.
Apparently, Marina agrees with this statement. Turns out Nathan and her have two bolts, and she rolled a want to go on a date with him.
Bao-Dur thought that the perfect time to fart would be when she asks him out!
Bao-Dur: Aww man, I am so totally lame. Now I bet Nate and Marina will remember me as the dude who let a rip right in their faces on their first date!
Don't get too worked up about it, sweetie. I don't think they noticed you at all!
Yeah, all they did on their date was slow dance because that's what she wanted to do. Cute! It just turned out so-so. Oh well, that's what happens when you live in a place like this.
Aggie, who usually pretends to be the happiest inmate, has been showing that he is in fact having mental issues- since the repair woman came to fix the shower.
Aggie: G-gotta c-clean... N-need s-something t-to c-clean!
"Hey Bao-Dur, you're a slob, right? How about breaking the shower for me. Please?"
"And you Cosmo. Sweet, sweet Cosmo- Can you please clog the toilet? Or at least make it just a little messy so I can have something to scrub?"
Bao-Dur takes up his offer and breaks the shower for the addict.
Aggie: Oh don't mind me, Bao-Dur dear. I'm just cleaning this conveniently placed puddle!
"Nope nope... Not ogling, JUST cleaning!" :D
You don't fool me one bit, mister Aggie.
I know why you spend your time in the bathroom so much- and it does NOT have to do with cleaning!
But with Bao-Dur's help, Aggie's back to his old happy (and quite vain) self again.
He really looks like he's hiding something... Or uh, nothing- under that trenchcoat in this picture. ;)
Aggie, I think it's time to stop acting like such a prude and 'fess up to the fact that you'd like to be in the middle of a COSMELIEN sandwich.
He's always reminding me that Komelien's burning hotness still runs rampant in the asylum. Though I don't think Nathan would be the one to tell all the things he wants to do to him to.
Yeah, sure- tell it to him in front of his lover's face why don't ya?
Contemplating a polyamorous relationship, huh Komelien?
*Insert cliqued 'lube joke' here*
Are ya' sick of them yet? Because I'm not! COSMELIEN forever!
AGGATARES (coined by
pixel_and_bean) get inspiration by over-hearing COSMELIEN's conversations sometimes.
I'm not sure if Cosmo likes their constant attention.
Komelien seems to be having wandering eyes. Quick, look elsewhere before Cosmo sees you!
I don't think we've seen a good look at the pretty that is Marina for a while. :D
Komelien seems to agree.
Komelien: Oh damnit, now she expects to have a threesome with Cosmo and I doesn't she?
During all this, Marina got promoted to backup dancer! I'm really slow at getting these promotions- especially since Marina's life is as sucky as the rest of the aliens.
This is all Dale does. EVER.
Aggie really doesn't appreciate the fact that he stays on it way past his expiration date.
Dale: WHY IS MY HOBBY PERSON THE RUNAWAY BRIDE?!
...It figures.
Marina thinks that COSMELIEN is really hot. She could watch them go at eachother all day.
She still tries to listen in on their conversations whenever she gets a chance.
Does this lineup look familiar to you? Switch them around and you'll get how these four spent their first few minutes of the asylum together!
Antares: Aggie, I really could use your help right now. I'm having withdrawls, man! I just NEED your soft hands caressing my body, our clothes all ripped off- and then I'd bring out the handcuffs and...
Antares, I'm sorry but he doesn't seem to be listening.
"B-but how can you say no to this adorable face?"
Now their ideas are rubbing off on COSMELIEN.
Well, I guess the pleading worked! Just look at these two- all over eachother with not a drop of influence points used on them.
Nathan: Shit Marina, how can that possibly turn you on? They're absolutely disgusting.
Nathan: You know, I could do that to you and it would be a thousand times better than watching these two get it on.
Meanwhile, Komelien demonstrates what he wants Cosmo to do to him.
And then THE THREE OF THEM start swooning like crazy over Nate!
(Yeah, that's Komelien's plumbob. I occasionally check what their motives are- I don't control them at all.)
Nathan: That's right, boys! I AM downright sexy aren't I?!
Nathan: Hey Aggie, I heard that you used to dress in women's lingerie. Remember? "It's just a jump to the left, and a step to the right?"
Aggie: I have no idea what you're talking about, Nathan.
...But I do! :P
Oh Nate, I knew you would be a total assgrabber. He did it about 10 times when he was making out with her, the horndog.
COSMELIEN wait until everybody's inside before they actually engage in any sort of activity, wanting their experience to be as mushy, romantic, and sentimental as possible.
It's a success, am I right?
RIGHT?!
O_o
I can only assume that Komelien has given poor Cosmo here blueballs.
SPEAKING OF BALLS... THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED THE NEXT DAY.
Let's get a closer look, shall we?
Aggie: I'll put this in your inventory for you.
Aggie you fiend! Butt plugs should be a little SMALLER than THAT! I know he's in a pinch, being away from his usual amenities, but come on - a football?!
(Comments courtesy of cindyanne1 and franwi !)
It's all your fault, Dale. Thanks for the laugh! XD
Antares: Well, when we get out of this place I'll make sure I shove something even bigger into your inventory!
And then they transform into an old married couple in a matter of seconds.
Nathan: Hey Marina, you look really hot in that leotard.
"Mind if I join you in some exercising, Marina?"
"Ooh, your pajamas are smokin' too!"
"I'll just relax here until you wake up so I can stalk you some more"
Autonomous juggling?! Never seen that!
"Hey Marina, look what I can do! I took up juggling just for you, Marina! Marina?"
...Could you please leave her alone for just one second, Nate?
Not a lot of exciting things happen while Marina's at work. I usually just have her serve a meal, and the aliens usually go about their business. As can be seen here, it is typical for somebody to be on the exercise bike, and there is usually a bunch of them sleeping.
Cosmo usually ends up outside birdwatching. This delicate flower- Tyra Capp (Tybalt as a female) shows up but unfortunately I can't greet her because Marina's not there.
After she passes, I find out that Antares has gotten off the bike and decides to go all the way into the bedroom to heart-fart at Komelien. Oh no- he looks like he's up to something!
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, ANTARES?!
Making cute innocent Cosmo sleep on the couch, that's what it is.
I'm watching you, sleazebag. Don't do anything stupid!
Uh oh Komelien, what did you two do while you were in the bedroom?
Cosmo: Nope, I didn't see my love get out of bed while another guy was in it!
Well whatever happened in there made Antares fit.
The next night, the order in the world restores again!
Cosmo wakes up before Komelien to gussy up...
And then relaxes in the bed again, as a way to guard his post.
He's waiting for Komelien to wake up so they could do their morning routine- Showering together in perfect syncronized motion!
Nathan: Ooh yeah, I'm buff now! Marina's bound to notice me more for sure.
...And then he passes out on the floor, while Cosmo and Bao-Dur act like they're mourning him.
Komelien doesn't seem to care though. Great, if Nathan wakes up a second later he will have a beautiful view of minty green ass.
Komelien breaks the sink, which makes Cosmo automatically lecture him. They actually get into a little fight about it, but it's resolved quickly.
Bao-Dur: Oh no, not my OTP!
Dale: Awesome, now I can get to see that "bomb of a shlong" Cosmo was talking about.
Cosmo: Can't finish cooking, there's a Nathan in the way!
He did that for quite a long time over and over again.
This cutie, May pixel_trade founder Peter Sherwood shows up the next day.
So of course I have to have Marina greet him!
He is instantly drawn to the bathroom, where he compliments almost everybody in there.
Marina seems to think that Peter getting scarred for life from seeing Dale in the shower is mighty sexy.
Nate: You know what's sexier, Marina? You and me showering together!
"That's right, Pete. She is MY girl and only I can do stuff with her."
Marina: NATHAN PEET STOP TAKING AWAY MY POTENTIAL LOVERS! I'm part romance sim too, remember? Since when is our kind monogamous?!
Oh well. Sorry Marina, but I think Peter is interested in Dale more than he is you.
PETER DANCE SPAM!
So I have Marina try and dance with him because she thought he was hot, and his response?
"I only dance with boys."
I don't think showing off your moves to Dale is helping, Pete.
Or maybe it is? Yay, now they can dance weird together! Dale ALWAYS makes that face while dancing, so strange.
While Dale does the mean sim's mating ritual, I see this classy lady stroll by.
It's Frenchie Worthington! :P
(Yeah, I have a whole house full of Maxis-made men turned female.)
Like Peter before her, Frenchie is also immediately drawn to the bathroom (It's MAGIC I tell you!) and this is what she sees.
Cosmo: EXCUSE ME NATHAN, BUT I BELIEVE YOU'RE IN MY SPOT!
"OH NO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY LOVER?!"
"Umm... Well, I guess it's kinda hot."
Komelien finishes his shower and changes back to his normal clothes with a satisfied smile on his face. Meanwhile, Cosmo patiently waits for his turn.
Antares: Hey, when's my turn?!
Frenchie stares, absolutely transfixed. She can't help herself! Gay men are hot. ;)
Nathan: Excuse me, ladies!
Apparently since she was making her rounds complimenting everybody in the bathroom, Nathan thinks that she deserved some extra attention too.
Finally, Antares gets his turn as well.
There's no doubt; Frenchie has never experienced anything more weird than what happened that day at the asylum.
Bao-Dur: Oh man, I just had this terrible nightmare where I was in an asylum with a whole bunch of aliens and I was the only sane one!
:looks at Dale:
Hey, wait a minute- that dude was in it! Oh... Shit.
Sorry Bao-Dur, but your stay at the Alien Asylum is nowhere near over yet! So far, Marina has only reached the third promotion. Stay tuned for the next one!