Apr 26, 2005 22:00
so saturday i went to the benefest..it rocked....i had fun til i like broke my flippin toe! lol i dont think its broken but it hurts...so an update bout my knee....needless to say burke was definately wrong....i ended up doing a month of physical therapy cuz it went on crack again lol....it was really weird and painful but its better now that im out of therapy...it was really weird tho....so i quit my job in february...*tear* i miss my "son" but it was time to go...i quit the day of my grandpas funeral thingy...that was the hardest time in my life...i miss him so much...its so hard to keep from giving up on believing that there is a God but if i doubt him in my most troublesome and hard times then who do i have? cuz i know no one around here cares to much...i need to get my life back on track...i was doing good then everything fell apart...its ok tho cuz i know i can do it...i wont write in her much probably because i dropped publications (class i used to write in) i decided that if i want to pursue nursing and EMT then i need to go to John Hinds and the diploma im going for i need speech and i kmow i have the intelligence to get something better than reguar diploma and i want to exceed in everything i do because like 2 and a half years ago i doubted id still be alive today and ive just realised that life is a precious thing..you never know when God is going to call you home..i realize that it was my grandpas time to go home and watch over us....so today we went by my moms old work and it made me think of kyle..i mis that kid so much and i regret not saying goodbye to him...i feel so dumb for not realizing that it was him who died but i was younger so its somewhat okay...saturday night we went by there after the benefest but i didnt even think about it...to out of it....ive been down lately but i have to keep my head held high...i can never get so low again like i was a few years ago....if i get that low itll all be over...i wont allow it tho because i have to becoem a nurse and an EMT and save lifes and adopt kids....thats my goals ive set for myself and i know if i set my mind to it i can do it...its weird because until this year i havent cared about my grades or life or anything...i really changed and care...i lost a lot of friends in the process but im pretty sure im happier now...i need to actually care cuz it will help me in the long run and i know i can accomplish anything i want with the will and the help of and my faith in God..you can do anything thru Him...so imma go now and email my friend so ill talk to you all later hopefully...Take care and remember Gods loves you! xoxo