Life's Last Chance
So it finally happened, I finally snapped. This time I really have no hope. I am done with life, it is only a matter of when I am going to kill myself. People seem To whine a lot about how I am just in pain And just going through a phase. How I need to keep working through my pain. How it will all be over soon enough. Well I am calling BS on that. However, I will give them the benefit of the doubt. Here is my plan.
I will keep living my life as I have been until 2011. From that point on, I am reformatting my life into a count down. A count down to me having no credit card debt. I have around $15,000 in credit card debt right now. Yes I am pretty fucking irresponsible. I will probably have around that much, if not more by the end of the year. That is where my count down will begin. Once my credit card balances reach $0.00 I am going to signal it as the end of my life. The question is how will I accomplish any of that. Well I starting January 1st 2011 I will be doing the following
The first thing I am going to do is part of my goal to become a soulless drone. Starting January 1st 2011 I am no longer taking any vacation time. Zero, zilch nada, none. No more holidays, no more sick days, no more anime conventions, nothing. I am done, having any time to myself. I will only take weekends, because even I need a little down time. The weekends will provide the bare minimum I need. Maybe I will even stop having weekends. That will only be after I move out of my current apartment and get a new apartment by myself. I am done doing anything with my life.
The Second thing will be to put all my money into my credit cards, and possibly my car. I will not cancel any preorders that I currently have. However, I will not make any new ones. I will not buy any new video games, anime, manga, books, domains, nothing. I will only buy what I need, food, water, electrcity, and gas. This will free up a significant chunk of my income. Because this will mean no more long drives to eat up gas money. No more adhoc purchases nothing new will come into my life.
That is how I will live my life. I figure that will give me at most another 2 years of living. Plenty of time for something to happen. Which is the whole point that most everyone gives me. You never know what will happen. Well we will see, if nothing happens that I determine is a benefit or an improvement I will kill myself. Once my debt is paid off I will go to a gun store, buy a gun, and then set the date. I think that will be my birthday present to me. I will shut off all my emotions suffering pain. That will be a wonderful birthday present for my mom as well. I will pay refund as much money as I can to her on her failed child.
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I will keep living my life as I have been until 2011. From that point on, I am reformatting my life into a count down. A count down to me having no credit card debt. I have around $15,000 in credit card debt right now. Yes I am pretty fucking irresponsible. I will probably have around that much, if not more by the end of the year. That is where my count down will begin. Once my credit card balances reach $0.00 I am going to signal it as the end of my life. The question is how will I accomplish any of that. Well I starting January 1st 2011 I will be doing the following
The first thing I am going to do is part of my goal to become a soulless drone. Starting January 1st 2011 I am no longer taking any vacation time. Zero, zilch nada, none. No more holidays, no more sick days, no more anime conventions, nothing. I am done, having any time to myself. I will only take weekends, because even I need a little down time. The weekends will provide the bare minimum I need. Maybe I will even stop having weekends. That will only be after I move out of my current apartment and get a new apartment by myself. I am done doing anything with my life.
The Second thing will be to put all my money into my credit cards, and possibly my car. I will not cancel any preorders that I currently have. However, I will not make any new ones. I will not buy any new video games, anime, manga, books, domains, nothing. I will only buy what I need, food, water, electrcity, and gas. This will free up a significant chunk of my income. Because this will mean no more long drives to eat up gas money. No more adhoc purchases nothing new will come into my life.
That is how I will live my life. I figure that will give me at most another 2 years of living. Plenty of time for something to happen. Which is the whole point that most everyone gives me. You never know what will happen. Well we will see, if nothing happens that I determine is a benefit or an improvement I will kill myself. Once my debt is paid off I will go to a gun store, buy a gun, and then set the date. I think that will be my birthday present to me. I will shut off all my emotions suffering pain. That will be a wonderful birthday present for my mom as well. I will pay refund as much money as I can to her on her failed child.
Post from mobile portal m.livejournal.com