Oh Yeah This Place
Ha I kind of forget I have this journal... maybe I do not need to set up my new blog. Well whatever, I can post in two places at once I do not care. I am not sure what I am going to be doing with my time anymore. I am just a faceless loser after all who has nothing worth mentioning or living for. It is only natural that I die right? I mean that is what human garbage like me does, I die. Not that anyone is going to give two shits about anything I write here. I am just going to take up space on the net. That is just what I do. Maybe I will use this as a light post for the rest of my pathetic family. I mean I hate them alright, but whatever there is no reason for me to give two shits about them being sad right now. When have I ever cared to begin with? They can just read these books I am writing as the life they never knew I lead.
God it has been forever since I last had sex. I really regret ever being sexually active. It gave me a taste of what happiness was. I am 100% serious. I was not suicidal at all when I was fucking the ex. That is the only reason why it stings so much more. I am like a man who has gone from being a billionaire to being penniless. I never knew how great things were until they were gone. Now the pain of being poor hits me even harder. I am sticking with the story that I am killing myself because I not capable of obtaining a sufficient amount of sex.
Really even back when I was a virgin that is what was killing me. However, back then I just could not admit to it. I can admit to it now though. I am more than happy to admit that I am killing myself because I am not having enough sex. It is easy to admit that. I want people to know how incredibly pathetic I am. I am just missing one key thing from my life and that is sex. There is nothing more to it than that. Even if people I know read this and realize what I am doing. They are never going to know what else might be wrong with me.
Truth be told there is very little else that is wrong with me. I am just a suicidal loser. I am missing the one key thing in my life and that is just how things are. It is not my fault that I am too ugly or stupid or whatever to actually get laid. I was born with the shitty genes of my parents. There is nothing I can do about that. Really the only thing I am missing is sex. Since I am unable to obtain a mate that I would want to have sex with there is no point in even trying.
I digress though, I do not really care anymore. These days it is getting harder and harder to keep going. Part of me just wants to kill myself when I am supposed to move. That way all my stuff is packed up and I can just die. That is all that I am going to do is die... I love my cat... but more and more these days I am starting to want to die. I am sure that my mom or my former roommate's mom could take the kitty in... I do not know... I just want this life to be over. Maybe there will be good news at the next vet screening. That the kitty is declining. and it will be sooner rather than later.
Then again I guess part of me loves being miserable like this. I can spread misery and sadness.. I do now know. I am just wanting to die more and more these days.. I just want to be dead why am I not dead yet? Why does everyone insist on lying to me about who amazing I am supposedly. At least when the youngest sister told me she was shocked that I was such a loser. I could hear the lie in her voice. At least she knows the truth and can admit to it. Not like the rest of the family. However, they are all useless so why bother even trying with them? I do not know I guess I just need to see how things keep going.
God it has been forever since I last had sex. I really regret ever being sexually active. It gave me a taste of what happiness was. I am 100% serious. I was not suicidal at all when I was fucking the ex. That is the only reason why it stings so much more. I am like a man who has gone from being a billionaire to being penniless. I never knew how great things were until they were gone. Now the pain of being poor hits me even harder. I am sticking with the story that I am killing myself because I not capable of obtaining a sufficient amount of sex.
Really even back when I was a virgin that is what was killing me. However, back then I just could not admit to it. I can admit to it now though. I am more than happy to admit that I am killing myself because I am not having enough sex. It is easy to admit that. I want people to know how incredibly pathetic I am. I am just missing one key thing from my life and that is sex. There is nothing more to it than that. Even if people I know read this and realize what I am doing. They are never going to know what else might be wrong with me.
Truth be told there is very little else that is wrong with me. I am just a suicidal loser. I am missing the one key thing in my life and that is just how things are. It is not my fault that I am too ugly or stupid or whatever to actually get laid. I was born with the shitty genes of my parents. There is nothing I can do about that. Really the only thing I am missing is sex. Since I am unable to obtain a mate that I would want to have sex with there is no point in even trying.
I digress though, I do not really care anymore. These days it is getting harder and harder to keep going. Part of me just wants to kill myself when I am supposed to move. That way all my stuff is packed up and I can just die. That is all that I am going to do is die... I love my cat... but more and more these days I am starting to want to die. I am sure that my mom or my former roommate's mom could take the kitty in... I do not know... I just want this life to be over. Maybe there will be good news at the next vet screening. That the kitty is declining. and it will be sooner rather than later.
Then again I guess part of me loves being miserable like this. I can spread misery and sadness.. I do now know. I am just wanting to die more and more these days.. I just want to be dead why am I not dead yet? Why does everyone insist on lying to me about who amazing I am supposedly. At least when the youngest sister told me she was shocked that I was such a loser. I could hear the lie in her voice. At least she knows the truth and can admit to it. Not like the rest of the family. However, they are all useless so why bother even trying with them? I do not know I guess I just need to see how things keep going.