(no subject)
my life, as i know it, is falling apart.
all the valium, all the red wine, all the domestic violence, all the harsh words, all the personal injuries (a bowl broken over my head, a table, a pile of cd's, and empty corona bottles thrown at me), all the handcuffs, all the jack, all the police reports, all the lawyers (with their conflicting advice), all the sirens, all the champagne, all the cold, cold, cold nights.
everything i own is in five boxes. one for my records, two for my books, one for all my sentiments, and one for all my clothes. i have car, my guitar and my keyboard. i feel homeless, but not at the same time. i have shut out 85% of my friends, and i am too uncomfortable to live with my family.
i have college deadlines and finals. i have various dental problems because i drink too much liquor, too much coffee, too much green tea, and i grind my teeth at night from all the stress. i never have time to shower or shave anymore, so i look homeless.
by next month, someone in my immediate family is going to be in jail or alcohol counseling/rehab.
my band owes $360 and no one else gives a fuck so it's my responsibility.
alcohol is what started this whole mess, and all i want to do is just drown in a sea of it.