(no subject)
i dont know anymore. i dont know what he wants, what anyone wants from me. im so confussed on everything and its just my hearts going into a million diff directions.i just wish life was easy. i wish it wasnt some complicating.. i dont know what to do anymore. i dont know who to trust. who to love, who to run to when things get rough. feels like im loosing everything and everyone i once thought i knew. walking around friday nights with everyone. seeing people i grew up with, use to be best friends with walking next to me but in the opposite directions. and not even getting a hey, just a quick stare and a look. seeing people ive known since forever, not even call me anymore. its just weird how much people can change.. i wish life was easier, and you didnt have to go threw so many bad times. i just wish he knew how i felt i wish i could just easily come out and say it but i cant wish i could just tell him everytime i see him get online i get all giddy and happy inside, when he tells me he loves me. how incrediable it makes me feel. when i see him, even from a distant that my hearts racing. i wish i knew what and how to explain myself but i dont. i dont know how to even tell him anything. im so nervous when im around him. im nervous on what i say. i thought i lost something spetacular to my life. i thought my whole world was gone when i lost this person, then he came back into my life out of no where and i gained so much back that i thought would never come back into my life. but then i realized when i gained him back everything i thought was there, wasnt really there to mcuh anymore. and everything that i had with him then, i had with this other person now. i miss my best friend. i miss talking to her twenty four sevon. about every little thing thats on our minds. about how magical everything will be when we see eachother. i miss talking to so many people. i miss everything. i love my life now. but i miss so many things that use to make me complete.