my face is swelling into my mouth, between my teeth.
it's not a stupid song title or anything.
it's true.
so last night, we had some imposters welcome themselves into Arby's late last night. Oh, it was only about 30 maybe 40 minutes after i posted my last entry yesterday. And i must say, it wasn't a pleasant one.
Not every day are you halfway between a sentence, talking to someone online, you look over your right shoulder and there, in the corner of your eye, three men, masked, armed, and pissed, walk right up to you, scream "open the fucking safe", and pistol whip you on the side of the face.
Nope, not everyday. But this day, it was yesterday. In fact...it was right about this time exactly...which gives me the strangest most evil feeling in my chest and stomach...being that i'm sitting in the exact same spot i was yesterday when we were attacked.
I must say though, right now this store is extremely hot. Which is why the back door was left opened last night. We couldn't think anything of it right? right. wrong.
To explain further, the front guy, big, black, covered in a giant poofy blue coat, wearing a hat. and carrying a huge fucking hand gun. (I later find out that if this hand gun was fired anywhere on my body i'd either be missing an entire limb and bleeding to death, or i wouldn't have a head left to be thinking with right now, and this computer i'm sitting on would probably still to this day have my brain matter all over it.) Good thing i stopped talking back to the fucker after he hit me. right? right. yeah...still right.
After the phraze "get the fuck up nigga" is mention, i get the fuck up nigga. I proceed to walk up to the front where the safe is located, as calm and collected as i could be. I couldn't look back in fear...well...in fear of everything. My fear and anger was so strong at this point there's no way i could think right. I don't think anybody... (unless you're...some kind of magical elvin dude, and in that case you wouldn't be in this situation) ...could think right. So i thought wrong i guess. I handled the situation the best i could, i quickly opened the safe, and opened the drawers and backed off.
At this time i notice the creepiest, most amazing looking imposter of them all. a smaller guy (not quite the size of the 250ish pound guy that blasted me in the face) wearing a creepy snearing jester mask take the money from the drawers. My buddy matt saw him better than any of us, but it was just like a movie. everything was in slow motion, but they couldn't have been there any longer than 2 minutes. Matt says five, i say two...who cares.
After this little robbery that just happened in our midst we couldn't help but look at each other and laugh, light up a ciggarette, then call the police and our boss.
But...the story isn't over.
In addition to the robbery, Matthew had a lovely conversation with his girlfriend straight afterwords on the phone that went a little bit like this:
"hey honey, we just got robbed."
"really? are you okay? i'm in labor."
in which matt proceeds to freak out...of course. he's going to be a daddy the same night he got robbed, and the same night he got hired at his second job. what a day right?
Well it doesn't end until about 7 oclock the next day...yes i will cover this time, not too much longer i promise folks.
SOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
After Matt gets this call, we know we have a little time before we need to take Briana to the hospital. so the cops come directly afterwords, we get interviewed, we start cleaning the store...
ring ring ring.
Briana needs to go to the hospital now....the contractions are getting closer together, somewhere around 5 minutes apart by now.
So we drive to the hospital and wait and wait and wait. She's only three centimeters dialated...so we wait...and wait...
and me and matt talk...we talk about life. and about everything we've talked about so many millions of times before about existence and the amazingness of us, only it's different...it's a little bit more surreal today.
The nurse then tells us we need to walk around with Briana for another hour, maybe she'll dialate more...maybe not. but walking should help.
so we walk...we walk a path that's been walked infinately...and we continue, but this time the path is different. Me and Matt keep looking at each other with a very interesting set of eyes...and i must say, i've never been happier to be where i was at that moment...and i knew it couldn't be much different for Matt...he's going to be a daddy soon.
So an hour later we end up back to check Briana in again and the look at her...and we wait...and we wait...and we wait...
we wait until about 2:30 in the morning, all the while our manager, my sex slave...i mean...the one woman i can flirt with all the time (she's also ten years older than me...but you wouldn't believe the sexual things she has to say about me and her... anyway... i wont mention them...it's just a part of every day life, and i love it.) is there with us, i'm sitting next to her...we keep looking at each other...and damn...we are closer than we've ever been.
At this time i can actually list all of my best friends...there truly is no order so it doesn't matter. Jeramy, Matthew, Briana, and Colleen (my 32 year old boss, and secret lover.)
i don't know why i mentioned that...but i did so live with it.
anyyyyyyyyyywaaaay.
we're waiting, and then Briana and Matt and Jenny (who is Briana's cousin and all of our neighbor, and quite a swell person in her own right) come out and we find we must go home because Briana is not quite ready to have child....
sad...
a weird moment.
nobodies too happy at this time.
a rollercoaster of emotions last night i'm telling you.
but the night doesn't end until 7 must i remind you.
So anyway, at this point all my adrenaline from earlier is pretty much gone, but still sorta there. My face fucking hurts.
So we go to the ER...needless to say...the wait was short at first...and turned long very fast.
It ended up being just me and Colleen left together in the ER trying to get x-rays and all that fun stuff.
and yes...that lasted until 6:30 in the morning.
pretty fucked up for a simple X-ray of something they probably couldn't do anything about in the first place. So we leave before they even come to bring us the X-rays...so i have no idea to this moment what kind of fucked up my face is.
but it looks like i got a little chubby on the left side of my face in one day.
i hope i don't have a hairline fracture or anything...that would be no fun...it hurts like a bitch to eat. but in the end, i'm just fine and dandy...
i'm okay, everyone else is okay.
Briana's doing alright, although she shall have child soon.
i will update you all.
i know none of you probably know these people, like i've said, a lot has changed over the years. it feels weird to be in such adult situations at my age...but i must, since i've chosen to be an adult at my age.
but i must say, living alone is the greatest thing that's happened to me. no more roomates...ever...unless you count my future wife and child as a roomate. haha.
okay...this is long...i know.
i'm done.
and i hope you all have a swell night.
-brandon
it's true.
so last night, we had some imposters welcome themselves into Arby's late last night. Oh, it was only about 30 maybe 40 minutes after i posted my last entry yesterday. And i must say, it wasn't a pleasant one.
Not every day are you halfway between a sentence, talking to someone online, you look over your right shoulder and there, in the corner of your eye, three men, masked, armed, and pissed, walk right up to you, scream "open the fucking safe", and pistol whip you on the side of the face.
Nope, not everyday. But this day, it was yesterday. In fact...it was right about this time exactly...which gives me the strangest most evil feeling in my chest and stomach...being that i'm sitting in the exact same spot i was yesterday when we were attacked.
I must say though, right now this store is extremely hot. Which is why the back door was left opened last night. We couldn't think anything of it right? right. wrong.
To explain further, the front guy, big, black, covered in a giant poofy blue coat, wearing a hat. and carrying a huge fucking hand gun. (I later find out that if this hand gun was fired anywhere on my body i'd either be missing an entire limb and bleeding to death, or i wouldn't have a head left to be thinking with right now, and this computer i'm sitting on would probably still to this day have my brain matter all over it.) Good thing i stopped talking back to the fucker after he hit me. right? right. yeah...still right.
After the phraze "get the fuck up nigga" is mention, i get the fuck up nigga. I proceed to walk up to the front where the safe is located, as calm and collected as i could be. I couldn't look back in fear...well...in fear of everything. My fear and anger was so strong at this point there's no way i could think right. I don't think anybody... (unless you're...some kind of magical elvin dude, and in that case you wouldn't be in this situation) ...could think right. So i thought wrong i guess. I handled the situation the best i could, i quickly opened the safe, and opened the drawers and backed off.
At this time i notice the creepiest, most amazing looking imposter of them all. a smaller guy (not quite the size of the 250ish pound guy that blasted me in the face) wearing a creepy snearing jester mask take the money from the drawers. My buddy matt saw him better than any of us, but it was just like a movie. everything was in slow motion, but they couldn't have been there any longer than 2 minutes. Matt says five, i say two...who cares.
After this little robbery that just happened in our midst we couldn't help but look at each other and laugh, light up a ciggarette, then call the police and our boss.
But...the story isn't over.
In addition to the robbery, Matthew had a lovely conversation with his girlfriend straight afterwords on the phone that went a little bit like this:
"hey honey, we just got robbed."
"really? are you okay? i'm in labor."
in which matt proceeds to freak out...of course. he's going to be a daddy the same night he got robbed, and the same night he got hired at his second job. what a day right?
Well it doesn't end until about 7 oclock the next day...yes i will cover this time, not too much longer i promise folks.
SOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
After Matt gets this call, we know we have a little time before we need to take Briana to the hospital. so the cops come directly afterwords, we get interviewed, we start cleaning the store...
ring ring ring.
Briana needs to go to the hospital now....the contractions are getting closer together, somewhere around 5 minutes apart by now.
So we drive to the hospital and wait and wait and wait. She's only three centimeters dialated...so we wait...and wait...
and me and matt talk...we talk about life. and about everything we've talked about so many millions of times before about existence and the amazingness of us, only it's different...it's a little bit more surreal today.
The nurse then tells us we need to walk around with Briana for another hour, maybe she'll dialate more...maybe not. but walking should help.
so we walk...we walk a path that's been walked infinately...and we continue, but this time the path is different. Me and Matt keep looking at each other with a very interesting set of eyes...and i must say, i've never been happier to be where i was at that moment...and i knew it couldn't be much different for Matt...he's going to be a daddy soon.
So an hour later we end up back to check Briana in again and the look at her...and we wait...and we wait...and we wait...
we wait until about 2:30 in the morning, all the while our manager, my sex slave...i mean...the one woman i can flirt with all the time (she's also ten years older than me...but you wouldn't believe the sexual things she has to say about me and her... anyway... i wont mention them...it's just a part of every day life, and i love it.) is there with us, i'm sitting next to her...we keep looking at each other...and damn...we are closer than we've ever been.
At this time i can actually list all of my best friends...there truly is no order so it doesn't matter. Jeramy, Matthew, Briana, and Colleen (my 32 year old boss, and secret lover.)
i don't know why i mentioned that...but i did so live with it.
anyyyyyyyyyywaaaay.
we're waiting, and then Briana and Matt and Jenny (who is Briana's cousin and all of our neighbor, and quite a swell person in her own right) come out and we find we must go home because Briana is not quite ready to have child....
sad...
a weird moment.
nobodies too happy at this time.
a rollercoaster of emotions last night i'm telling you.
but the night doesn't end until 7 must i remind you.
So anyway, at this point all my adrenaline from earlier is pretty much gone, but still sorta there. My face fucking hurts.
So we go to the ER...needless to say...the wait was short at first...and turned long very fast.
It ended up being just me and Colleen left together in the ER trying to get x-rays and all that fun stuff.
and yes...that lasted until 6:30 in the morning.
pretty fucked up for a simple X-ray of something they probably couldn't do anything about in the first place. So we leave before they even come to bring us the X-rays...so i have no idea to this moment what kind of fucked up my face is.
but it looks like i got a little chubby on the left side of my face in one day.
i hope i don't have a hairline fracture or anything...that would be no fun...it hurts like a bitch to eat. but in the end, i'm just fine and dandy...
i'm okay, everyone else is okay.
Briana's doing alright, although she shall have child soon.
i will update you all.
i know none of you probably know these people, like i've said, a lot has changed over the years. it feels weird to be in such adult situations at my age...but i must, since i've chosen to be an adult at my age.
but i must say, living alone is the greatest thing that's happened to me. no more roomates...ever...unless you count my future wife and child as a roomate. haha.
okay...this is long...i know.
i'm done.
and i hope you all have a swell night.
-brandon