teen angst is a bitch
friday night was what i needed. my god it was the most amazing night of my life. i just got to be myself and drink n smoke, oh did i smoke!!!, andjust rock like i want so bad. ive decided that whatever will had that night is all im ever gonna smoke. i never ever got that amazingly high before in my life. i swear to god it burned the shit out of my throat, but i felt amazing!! me will melissa michael and some other girl all smoked outside n will n the girl told me n meliss how awsome we are for hitting that shit so much because its strong ass stuff n incase you havent noticed were little people haha. but after wards i was just sitting there with my feet up on the table chillin back with my eyes closed laughing n i felt so good, like i was flaoting. thats the greateest feeling ever. if i would have had my slightly stoopid cd that would have been it for the night. will took a pic of me like that n melissa did too n will n that girl kept saying how awsome i am n how they want me to smoke with them all the time cause i get where they wanna be n im awsome haha. so me n amanda were a teamfor beer pong which i suck balls at but she owns in, against michael n will n we almost won but amandas drunk ass threw the ball at michael instead of the last cup, so i ended up drinking so much fuckin beer. i drank about 4 or 5 shmirnoff twisted watermelons a starwberry daqueri with bacardi limon and 2 coronas with bacardi limon. plus i had some of michaels 40oz of bud. n i still wasnt even as drunk as youd think. then i passed out around 1 while watching mean girls with claire n jeanne n melissa (sort of) n when i woke up meliss was throwing up in the bathroom n amanda was taking my blanket away n i was very upset about the blankets absence. but i finally snapped out of it n she gave it back to me n i got up to see what was going on around like 2 45 and i checked my phone n mike had text me n called me while i was passed out so i called him back n he didnt answer but then he called me back like 2 mins later n i talked to him a little bit. he got off grounding but he had to go pick up his brother from newark and then he was gonna come but he got pulled over n then he called when he was gonna come after that but i was passed out so i didnt answer. so all in all i didnt get to see him for week number 6 and im pissed about it. i miss him n this fuckin sucks, all week hes either with his brother or at rutgers n feeding me bull about how he misses me. i dont know, maybe ill see him next week, who knows anymore, ive gotten to the point where if i dont see him i dont even care anymore, i dont even expect to see him anymore, i just pretty much count on him bailing or plans getting fucked up no matter what. nothing seems to work for us anymore so maybe i should just let it go? i dont know im just so tired of working this hard to make us work. (i said anymore way way way too much in that last few scentences)but so i dont know i bitch n bitch about him n i just need to get over it, hes just a boy right? so i should letit be, just like any other boy...