I HONESTLY Do NOT Care.
I think it's absolute complete bullshit that I have to watch what I say to someone who is supposed to be my "best friend"
You should be able to be completely honest with that person.
You shouldn't have to NOT say something to them because about 95% of the time, they're probably going to freak the fuck out on you about it.
When you're planning on going somewhere to do something, you shouldn't have to sit there and run ideas past your boyfriend and then you BOTH say "Oh...X would never want to go", or "if she comes over and we tell X we want to do this she's going to be like "you guys can go, I'll just go home, I wish I'd have known this plan before I came over, otherwise I would have go somewhere else"(Of course to make you feel guilty, if not that....then what else would be the motive behind it.)
Anyway....what I'm trying to say is....I feel like I'm in this friendship on a very short leash and held there by a false sense of security. Because if I disagree with her about ANYTHING(yes, anything) she flips out and goes into one of her "what the fuck ever, everyone's against me" moods.
Or that we're "best friends" as long as she's having a good day.(which have become increasingly few and far between).
Or that I'm just trying to keep her in a good mood because if she's not......
Or that we always have plans to hang out, until something better, like her current boyfriends schedule opened up, to do.( Halloween weekend I was ignored by her (ok ok, misunderstanding then?),this weekend she said we were going to hang out Friday AND Saturday, and BOTH times she canceled to go to her boyfriend's show to do Homework at, then on Monday she said sorry for ditching me and that we could hang out that day....and then canceled AGAIN.)
Keep in mind, I don't mind her ditching me for her current boyfriend, because they are amazing for each other. And I would much rather be ditched for him then the stupid alcoholic(that she still cant bear to get rid of completely, god knows why)
I don't want a friend I have to walk on eggshells around. I don't want someone who doesn't even want to be around me.
I'm not sitting here on my "pedistal" believe me I DONT HAVE ONE NOR DO I DESERVE ONE. Nor do I sit here all day and read your fucking livejournal.(hence every time you ask "did you read my lj" I say no...because I DON'T CHECK IT EVERY DAY.....but congrats on the ego trip.honestly.) We weren't friends, you just needed someone to control, and I'm sick of being to you what you were to Eric. I'm not your scapegoat, I'm not the ugly best friend you keep around to make yourself feel better. I have enough of my OWN problems without you.
Have a nice life. I'm out of this.
You should be able to be completely honest with that person.
You shouldn't have to NOT say something to them because about 95% of the time, they're probably going to freak the fuck out on you about it.
When you're planning on going somewhere to do something, you shouldn't have to sit there and run ideas past your boyfriend and then you BOTH say "Oh...X would never want to go", or "if she comes over and we tell X we want to do this she's going to be like "you guys can go, I'll just go home, I wish I'd have known this plan before I came over, otherwise I would have go somewhere else"(Of course to make you feel guilty, if not that....then what else would be the motive behind it.)
Anyway....what I'm trying to say is....I feel like I'm in this friendship on a very short leash and held there by a false sense of security. Because if I disagree with her about ANYTHING(yes, anything) she flips out and goes into one of her "what the fuck ever, everyone's against me" moods.
Or that we're "best friends" as long as she's having a good day.(which have become increasingly few and far between).
Or that I'm just trying to keep her in a good mood because if she's not......
Or that we always have plans to hang out, until something better, like her current boyfriends schedule opened up, to do.( Halloween weekend I was ignored by her (ok ok, misunderstanding then?),this weekend she said we were going to hang out Friday AND Saturday, and BOTH times she canceled to go to her boyfriend's show to do Homework at, then on Monday she said sorry for ditching me and that we could hang out that day....and then canceled AGAIN.)
Keep in mind, I don't mind her ditching me for her current boyfriend, because they are amazing for each other. And I would much rather be ditched for him then the stupid alcoholic(that she still cant bear to get rid of completely, god knows why)
I don't want a friend I have to walk on eggshells around. I don't want someone who doesn't even want to be around me.
I'm not sitting here on my "pedistal" believe me I DONT HAVE ONE NOR DO I DESERVE ONE. Nor do I sit here all day and read your fucking livejournal.(hence every time you ask "did you read my lj" I say no...because I DON'T CHECK IT EVERY DAY.....but congrats on the ego trip.honestly.) We weren't friends, you just needed someone to control, and I'm sick of being to you what you were to Eric. I'm not your scapegoat, I'm not the ugly best friend you keep around to make yourself feel better. I have enough of my OWN problems without you.
Have a nice life. I'm out of this.