flying these unwelcoming skies.
and so here it is, another well awaited entry. I'm becoming less interested in continueing to update. sometimes it's a lifesaver, but for the majority of the time it's nothing but something that takes up twenty minutes that I could be elsewhere doing other meaningful things. I say that, but I can never follow through with it when the day comes I just need to write.
Chaos and stress still consume me. But, for once, I've reached a happy medium. Something with a promise. And Thanks to God for that because without it, who knows where I'd be right now, and how badly I'd be messing up my life. Love is the greatest yet most un-define-able word ever. It's different for everyone. For me, and in it, I feel captivated. It brings me pure happiness. It gives me a source to learn from, to grow up with, to share my life with. I'm so glad I've fallen, and I'm so greatful I've fallen into it with who I have. And you know that with all of those wonderful feelings, come a drawback. And boy, have I had one. There was an obstacle, I guess 'obstacle' isn't such a fitting word, but it's all I can use at the moment, anyways, It was something that I wish with everything I have that it wouldn't have ever happened. But, of course, there is never an easily accomplished happy ending. It was just a big catastrophe, with no way of avoiding it. Through it all, those few days that felt more like weeks, I've made a lot of sacrifices, but only for the best of both worlds. I have few regrets but that's life. I'm sorry to you. I really am. This is for the best. I can't look at you and see that you see what I always have. You are great, I'm glad I was given the chance to get to know you. Keep your head up. If you die now, know that I do too. To those of you who have harsh and judgemental words to say about me, and the relationship that I'm lucky to have, I do see WHERE you are coming from, but if you felt what I do, you'd understand. And you'd be happy for me.
I've finally come to an agreement with myself. I'm not subjecting myself to games anymore. I'm done with continuing to throw myself out there. Here I am, so quick to trust. Why? Give me one good reason. I'm finished. It's so out of my hands, I'm shameless. Stop me, steal my breath. My gosh. I hate life sometimes. I'll never understand it's depth, yet I'll continue to give knowing I'll never get anything in return. "You get out of life, what you put into it." Bullshit. Thank God I have you. You're my survival.
Time it passes and it tells us what we're left with.
We become the things we do.
Me, I'm a fool spent from defiance, yeah you got me but I didn't give up on you.
But the rest is not a t-shirt or a swan song, no.
Heat is born again and,
It's not easy being me
When I can't promise I will mend
Or bend when you believe.
That we are fixed now from our birth.
And I've just fallen back to earth.
Still you know I'll try again
Cause I believe that we are lucky.
We are golden.
And on that note. Goodnight. 3am and still far from sleep.
Chaos and stress still consume me. But, for once, I've reached a happy medium. Something with a promise. And Thanks to God for that because without it, who knows where I'd be right now, and how badly I'd be messing up my life. Love is the greatest yet most un-define-able word ever. It's different for everyone. For me, and in it, I feel captivated. It brings me pure happiness. It gives me a source to learn from, to grow up with, to share my life with. I'm so glad I've fallen, and I'm so greatful I've fallen into it with who I have. And you know that with all of those wonderful feelings, come a drawback. And boy, have I had one. There was an obstacle, I guess 'obstacle' isn't such a fitting word, but it's all I can use at the moment, anyways, It was something that I wish with everything I have that it wouldn't have ever happened. But, of course, there is never an easily accomplished happy ending. It was just a big catastrophe, with no way of avoiding it. Through it all, those few days that felt more like weeks, I've made a lot of sacrifices, but only for the best of both worlds. I have few regrets but that's life. I'm sorry to you. I really am. This is for the best. I can't look at you and see that you see what I always have. You are great, I'm glad I was given the chance to get to know you. Keep your head up. If you die now, know that I do too. To those of you who have harsh and judgemental words to say about me, and the relationship that I'm lucky to have, I do see WHERE you are coming from, but if you felt what I do, you'd understand. And you'd be happy for me.
I've finally come to an agreement with myself. I'm not subjecting myself to games anymore. I'm done with continuing to throw myself out there. Here I am, so quick to trust. Why? Give me one good reason. I'm finished. It's so out of my hands, I'm shameless. Stop me, steal my breath. My gosh. I hate life sometimes. I'll never understand it's depth, yet I'll continue to give knowing I'll never get anything in return. "You get out of life, what you put into it." Bullshit. Thank God I have you. You're my survival.
Time it passes and it tells us what we're left with.
We become the things we do.
Me, I'm a fool spent from defiance, yeah you got me but I didn't give up on you.
But the rest is not a t-shirt or a swan song, no.
Heat is born again and,
It's not easy being me
When I can't promise I will mend
Or bend when you believe.
That we are fixed now from our birth.
And I've just fallen back to earth.
Still you know I'll try again
Cause I believe that we are lucky.
We are golden.
And on that note. Goodnight. 3am and still far from sleep.