...i dont think i could be anymore depressed at the moment...
well a lot has happened the past few days...it all started on halloween night..i was just laying on my bed with joe..it must have been 11...my brother screamed from downstairs at me..and i'm like what the fuck you want..cuz i always do that..but then he's like i really think there is something wrong with the cat...so immediatly i jump off the bed and go downstairs...and he's like breathing really heavily..like there is something wrong...so i held him and calmed him down then he kinda started breathing ok...he slept on the edge of my bed again as always...curled up in his cute little ball...and then i woke up and he wasn't there..he got up and left to walk around downstairs or something...then my dad was like..amanda you really should take him in...his friend jerry was up here from Florida..he's the shit..i love that guy..he tells the most hilarious stories...but anyhow..so my dad made an appointment...me and lauren went...it wa right by joe's house at the South Brunswick Animal Hospital...but we get there..the vet talks to me first..then hecan't see anything too wrong really..but then he's like ok let me take x-rays cuz you never know with cats..i'm like sure go ahead...now normally an x-ray would consist of the bones..and then a black background..but like when the vet came back..it felt like an eternity waiting with lauren..but i think it was like 20 minutes later..the vet came back in and was like here...and he showed me the r-rays...his whole chest cavity was full of fluid...so they were like ok we'll get it out but we have to keep him overnight..and then we will take more x-rays after that's gone to see if we can see anything more clear...so i'm like ok...but they said he could have some kind of heart disease...or a tumor..and i'm liek ehhh fuck...if he has a tumor there's nothing they can do for him...but if he's got this disease they'll put him on meds and see how he reacts.he might live a long time..or not...depends on how well he reacts...but i'm like alright..the vet said we can call back at like 6:30 to see how he's doing..so my dad called...they said they got 100 CC's of fluid out of him..that's a FUCKING LOT..thank god i took him or else he woulda died...as soon as i left the vet i started to cry though...like i dunno what's gonna happen..but then the vet caled this morning again..and sam was doing alright...then they called my mom again later..and said he's gotta stay another night cuz they dont know if he's got a tumor or not...and i'm like wow GREAT...but i slept a good 3 hours...i needed it a lot...too much shit going on...but i mean...last night it was so hard..and tonight it will be again...cuz he's not there to greet me when i walk in the house..he's not there to sleep with me in my bed in the corner of it..he normally curls up in a little bawl and looks so adorable...he's not there for me to hug and hold when i'm upset...like now..he's not there to play with me when i'm bored...he's not there to give me little kisses..his tounge feels like sand paper...he's not there to kill the spider thats on the floor and eat it (lol)...he's not there to play with his little toy mice and go crazy...he's never hissed at me or anyone else..he's the most affectionate cat you'll ever meet..he loves people...always running by them and kissing them...and sitting by them...loves to greet you at the door...sits there..meows...then runs up to to and rubs against your leg...he loves to watch the birds go by outside my window or watch the stray cats and wanna be with them...i'll take him outside...lay him down and he'd just roll around and have a good time...sneezing cuz grass will go up his nose or something...he was just like a human...likes some human foods like turkey...ham...chicken..tuna...that's about it...but he'd just jump up in your lap and sit there...for some reason he LOVES music..whenever music is playing that's where he is..whether its with my dad when he's re-mixing and producing stuff..or me just playing through my playlist...then i just went into work to drop my brother off..but i figured i run inside to pick up my schedule...only to realize i'm fucking working today...wow..things couldn't get any better...but here's a picture of my baby...i miss him dearly and i just want him to come home :'o(
