(no subject)
Im writing in my Live Journal again because Im a loser and I still write in it yet no one comments because everyone else is busy doing god only knows more then me probably this summer has been by far one of my worst summers! So much has happened bad and good but mostly bad....... and I cant wait to go back to school so I can get my mind off of it!
The first week of summer felt like a blast smokin out every other day it felt sooo great and now I am bored every day! Then In July a lot happened mostly fun stuff but if It never happened I wouldnt feel bad I just would never know I just feel used most of the time and pushed around I feel like Im too nice some of the time Like that saying "you could slit my throat and with my one last gasping breath id apologize for bleeding on ur shirt" I probabaly would apoligize no joke.. I just feel trampled on a lot Taken advantage of used and abused! Its just I dont feel the need to fight back makes things more complicated...
During July I did things I never even thought I would ever do I never thought I would lose my mom and other things I never thought I would become closer to my family I never thought of becoming pregnant even tho Im not (its just crossed my mind a couple of times) Or aids hiv that kind of shit high school has got me thinking of all the possiblities and responsiblities Im going to be dealing with a lot more drama then right now a lot more
I dont know If Im ready for everything Im still tring to handle watching my sisters and cleaning and making sure my laundry is done lol doesnt seem like much but it is I just feel like I have too much responsiblilty for someone as young as me and for someone who is under a lot of stress and pressure
It just feels like I do the same things over and over again and maybe I need a change like I need something exciting and thrilling to happen to me something that would change my life Forever kind of thing to get me out of this funk im going through
Well im gonna go Ive done enough complanining for today
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
The first week of summer felt like a blast smokin out every other day it felt sooo great and now I am bored every day! Then In July a lot happened mostly fun stuff but if It never happened I wouldnt feel bad I just would never know I just feel used most of the time and pushed around I feel like Im too nice some of the time Like that saying "you could slit my throat and with my one last gasping breath id apologize for bleeding on ur shirt" I probabaly would apoligize no joke.. I just feel trampled on a lot Taken advantage of used and abused! Its just I dont feel the need to fight back makes things more complicated...
During July I did things I never even thought I would ever do I never thought I would lose my mom and other things I never thought I would become closer to my family I never thought of becoming pregnant even tho Im not (its just crossed my mind a couple of times) Or aids hiv that kind of shit high school has got me thinking of all the possiblities and responsiblities Im going to be dealing with a lot more drama then right now a lot more
I dont know If Im ready for everything Im still tring to handle watching my sisters and cleaning and making sure my laundry is done lol doesnt seem like much but it is I just feel like I have too much responsiblilty for someone as young as me and for someone who is under a lot of stress and pressure
It just feels like I do the same things over and over again and maybe I need a change like I need something exciting and thrilling to happen to me something that would change my life Forever kind of thing to get me out of this funk im going through
Well im gonna go Ive done enough complanining for today
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo