(no subject)
I sat back and read old Live Journal posts. I know it's not good looking at the past but as I was reading them, I had NO drama. I miss it when my life was like that. But then again I have to look at it like this, i was 15 years old, i'm 19 now, I've grown up and am dealing with more shit than ever. I'm facing it as well as I can. It's all on me, I make my own decisions, I fuck up on my own. I know that saying sorry doesn't always help the situations but when I say it, it's coming from the bottom of my heart.
I'm not perfect, I know I'm not. But it's those imperfections that make life worth living. Something to work for, to strive to acheive. I know I can be the person I want to be. I'm going too. Not drinking for 11 days is really helping me, even though it's really hard, I'm getting better.
To the people that mean the most to me:
Rhiann: my angel without wings. You will always be my number one no matter what happens between us. You know me better than I know myself. I miss the way we used to be and I want that back because those were the best days of my life. No distance will ever come between us. Even though we aren't as close all the memories still remain in my heart forever. We've gone through so much together. Catalina was probably the most amazing trip of my life. the memories are stored. It's only been a little over a year since I've known you and I will never forget the first time you walked up to me at the bowling alley after your show. Didn't even know me and you had your arms wide open ready to take me in. You are a role model and i've told you that you're my hero and my role model. I love you.
Kellie: You came into my life knowing who I was without even knowing me. You yell at me when I fuck up and don't know it. You help me when I don't know what to do. Getting drunk in the car all the time, the look on youre face when you saw alex youre incredible. A heart of gold. You're amazing and I love you so much.
Vanessa: My roommate, my little fake boobie girl. We get in so many fights but even though we get close to almost killing each other we gain so much more after that. We're so spontaneous together and so outgoing and have so much fun. Mexico and of course lake arrowhead are trips i will never forget. I love you so much and thank you for always being there.
Steph: We have our amazing times together, I've never gotten into a fight with you and I don't think I ever will. I will never forget our drunken nights at the cobalt, the amazing dinner you and kell made for us. You're such an angel and I love you so much <3
Linsee: We had our times when we were inseperable, all the times with karen and cold turkey and our long talks about life and the bullshit. Going to pawn shops and rite aid buying marcs birthday presents and getting ready for his surprise party. you are amazing and i love you so much and i'm so happy youre in my life. Youre birthdays tomorrow and you'll be getting a call from me at midnight. i love you my little hunny bunch sugar plum.
Alex: Wow alex where do I start with you. We've gone through so much shit. We loved each other then hated each other then loved each other again. I think that everything that we went through was worth it cause it brought us closer together and basically together again. You've always been there with open ears ready to talk to me and console me and I tried my hardest to do the same for you. The ride up to vegas is a memory that will never escape my heart. i love you girl i'll always be here.
To all my boys, Jonny, Spencer, Mike, Ian, Marc, Pelly, Turner etc..
you all have been there for me in ways that you wouldn't know. You've all helped in special ways and I love you all so much for that. even though its not 2 summers ago for the fatal kids, that will be the summer i will never forget <3
i love all of you <3
I'm not perfect, I know I'm not. But it's those imperfections that make life worth living. Something to work for, to strive to acheive. I know I can be the person I want to be. I'm going too. Not drinking for 11 days is really helping me, even though it's really hard, I'm getting better.
To the people that mean the most to me:
Rhiann: my angel without wings. You will always be my number one no matter what happens between us. You know me better than I know myself. I miss the way we used to be and I want that back because those were the best days of my life. No distance will ever come between us. Even though we aren't as close all the memories still remain in my heart forever. We've gone through so much together. Catalina was probably the most amazing trip of my life. the memories are stored. It's only been a little over a year since I've known you and I will never forget the first time you walked up to me at the bowling alley after your show. Didn't even know me and you had your arms wide open ready to take me in. You are a role model and i've told you that you're my hero and my role model. I love you.
Kellie: You came into my life knowing who I was without even knowing me. You yell at me when I fuck up and don't know it. You help me when I don't know what to do. Getting drunk in the car all the time, the look on youre face when you saw alex youre incredible. A heart of gold. You're amazing and I love you so much.
Vanessa: My roommate, my little fake boobie girl. We get in so many fights but even though we get close to almost killing each other we gain so much more after that. We're so spontaneous together and so outgoing and have so much fun. Mexico and of course lake arrowhead are trips i will never forget. I love you so much and thank you for always being there.
Steph: We have our amazing times together, I've never gotten into a fight with you and I don't think I ever will. I will never forget our drunken nights at the cobalt, the amazing dinner you and kell made for us. You're such an angel and I love you so much <3
Linsee: We had our times when we were inseperable, all the times with karen and cold turkey and our long talks about life and the bullshit. Going to pawn shops and rite aid buying marcs birthday presents and getting ready for his surprise party. you are amazing and i love you so much and i'm so happy youre in my life. Youre birthdays tomorrow and you'll be getting a call from me at midnight. i love you my little hunny bunch sugar plum.
Alex: Wow alex where do I start with you. We've gone through so much shit. We loved each other then hated each other then loved each other again. I think that everything that we went through was worth it cause it brought us closer together and basically together again. You've always been there with open ears ready to talk to me and console me and I tried my hardest to do the same for you. The ride up to vegas is a memory that will never escape my heart. i love you girl i'll always be here.
To all my boys, Jonny, Spencer, Mike, Ian, Marc, Pelly, Turner etc..
you all have been there for me in ways that you wouldn't know. You've all helped in special ways and I love you all so much for that. even though its not 2 summers ago for the fatal kids, that will be the summer i will never forget <3
i love all of you <3