(no subject)
So, a lot has happened since i last updated. I dont remember the last time I updated. Its 2 days after mine and justins 5 month aniversary, and its over between us, hes broken up with me, all because of a decision I made. I dont know how to feel about this right now, cause not only is my heart broken, but I have the flu, so its even worse. Im angry with him for this, because we got back together about a week ago, and hes lead me on for the past week, even comming over and being sexual with me, but i also understand why hes done this, but he doesnt get how much im hurting, unlike him, i dont have friends to take me out every night to cheer me up, this is something I have to deal on my own, and not only do I have to deal with loosing him, I have to deal with loosing a child too, both I know were my decision, but still, its not easy, and it sucks. I ave no one around me to help me and cheer me up, joeys to busy with her boyfriend to do much, and shes all I really had. How do u go one with life after having ur heart ripped out and handed to u on a silver platter? Im sorry I hurt him, Im so unimaginably sorry that I hurt him, but he doesnt seem to get that this was for the best for both of us. Now that theres no baby involved, his parents are going to send him to college, they bought him a decent car, he's living with them again.
I am having such a hard time right now, and I have no one to talk to, I have no one to be there for me and cheer me up, i am so alone, and I dont know wat to do, i really dont,
Justin, I know u wont ever read this, but i am sorry for what I have done, but i cannot change the past, and I know u dont want to be with me ne more, and I understand that, I just wish you knew how much you truly mean to me, and what I would do to have u in my life again
nd PS< i dont wanna hear it from all u epple who read this, i dont care if "ur there for me" cause ovbiously i dont feel that ur, or else i wouldnt be as alone as I am, if u were there for me, u would be at my house cheering me up, inviting me to do this, so I dont have to sit and dwell on all this.
I am having such a hard time right now, and I have no one to talk to, I have no one to be there for me and cheer me up, i am so alone, and I dont know wat to do, i really dont,
Justin, I know u wont ever read this, but i am sorry for what I have done, but i cannot change the past, and I know u dont want to be with me ne more, and I understand that, I just wish you knew how much you truly mean to me, and what I would do to have u in my life again
nd PS< i dont wanna hear it from all u epple who read this, i dont care if "ur there for me" cause ovbiously i dont feel that ur, or else i wouldnt be as alone as I am, if u were there for me, u would be at my house cheering me up, inviting me to do this, so I dont have to sit and dwell on all this.