recap
I've been good lately I guess. I met a someone who I thought was going to be a close friend for a long time because we got along so well who turned out to not be such a good friend afterall (and if the fucker doesn't contact me, he won't be getting his cds or his skateboard back, because I'm a bitch and I WILL give them away). I got laid off from work for 3 weeks, but I'm back and making money again. Sunday will be my third week back. I'm taking all kinds of overtime that they're offering. I took two out of the 4 days. I keep doing it so I work three days and have one off, work three off one. I may work this weekend coming up, if my plans don't go through. (but even if I do go through with my plans, which I intend to... I still may work on Sunday.) I'm invited to Pat's halloween party(it's the sunday before halloween I think), though he's not the one who invited me, he told Richie to tell me about it. I'm terrified to go. If Richie goes, I'll go, but if Richie doesn't, I don't think I can. Pat and I don't speak too often because my brain freezes when I'm standing in front of him, and I think I'd feel awkward at his party. I'm trying to not think of Pat in this way anymore, really I am. It's been how long now? Seven months. Seven months and I still choke up everytime I see the man. It's like I'm paralyzed. He's my "type". I never knew I had one until someone pointed it out to me, and I tried to prove them wrong and couldn't. I hear him listening to that Avenged Sevenfold cd that I burnt him almost every day... I know it's because he likes the band, and not because I burnt it for him... but I like to think that when I see him pull into the parking lot at work, and hear him listening to that cd that I popped into his head for a second or two. He tripped me intentionally the other day at work... because when I shrieked out a "heeey!" then turned and looked at him he had a smile on his face and kind of laughed at me. Enough rambling about him now... ehhh I just never talk about him, so this is getting things out for me. I'm supposed to check out a band called Bullet For My Valentine. He told me they're good... and he and I practically share a brain when it comes to "good music"
I'm confused about a few things right now though. Mainly it's work that's confusing me. One reason being that man that I need to get over, and another reason being I really want to go back to school, but that means I'd have to leave my job which I actually like going to. I don't have a clue as to where I want to go, I just know I want to go for something like Pharmeceutical science or Chemical engineering. Something heavy in chemistry. I've been rambling about this to anyone who'll listen for the past two or three weeks. It's because I went up to my aunt's house and she kind of kicked me in the ass about school. She said something like... "would you rather struggle for a few years or be struggling scraping money together for the rest of your life?" and it made me think a lot, made me cry a little, and made me want to leave this valley even more than I already want to.
I have cable internet now... it's not hooked up yet, but it's sitting on the table. That's how unmotivated I am. I have fancy comcast digital cable now too. Ehh, whatever. It was exciting at first, but I don't really care anymore. I'll care when I can be a dvd pirate.
I haven't been sleeping much lately. I keep going to bed really late (between midnight and 1, which is late for when I work in the morning) and I keep waking up between 4:41 and 4:43... every night. It'd be scarier if I was waking up at 3 and smelled something burning... but that 3 minute time span freaks me the fuck out nonetheless. Last night was worse though... I didn't get upstairs until about 1, fell asleep at about 4 and woke up at 5:30... I think I only got through the day because of the chocolate I was eating and the full throttle that I drank that's been sitting in my car (unopened) for a week.
Okay, I feel I've rambled enough... I could go on, but I'll save some stuff for another day I suppose.
I'm confused about a few things right now though. Mainly it's work that's confusing me. One reason being that man that I need to get over, and another reason being I really want to go back to school, but that means I'd have to leave my job which I actually like going to. I don't have a clue as to where I want to go, I just know I want to go for something like Pharmeceutical science or Chemical engineering. Something heavy in chemistry. I've been rambling about this to anyone who'll listen for the past two or three weeks. It's because I went up to my aunt's house and she kind of kicked me in the ass about school. She said something like... "would you rather struggle for a few years or be struggling scraping money together for the rest of your life?" and it made me think a lot, made me cry a little, and made me want to leave this valley even more than I already want to.
I have cable internet now... it's not hooked up yet, but it's sitting on the table. That's how unmotivated I am. I have fancy comcast digital cable now too. Ehh, whatever. It was exciting at first, but I don't really care anymore. I'll care when I can be a dvd pirate.
I haven't been sleeping much lately. I keep going to bed really late (between midnight and 1, which is late for when I work in the morning) and I keep waking up between 4:41 and 4:43... every night. It'd be scarier if I was waking up at 3 and smelled something burning... but that 3 minute time span freaks me the fuck out nonetheless. Last night was worse though... I didn't get upstairs until about 1, fell asleep at about 4 and woke up at 5:30... I think I only got through the day because of the chocolate I was eating and the full throttle that I drank that's been sitting in my car (unopened) for a week.
Okay, I feel I've rambled enough... I could go on, but I'll save some stuff for another day I suppose.