(no subject)
I haven't really updated in a long time...nothing's really new in terms of events or whatever.
I've been stuck in this angsty-antisocial mood for the past couple of days. I just want to shout at everyone "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME! GET OUT OF MY WAY!" but I hold my tonuge because I need to learn to control my emotions. Sometimes I just want to find a corner and sit there and write and play loud heavy metal music with my hood up. I would go and hide in the library, but I hate that place. It's too conservative. It would make me even more crazy.
I think that after highschool, if I don't get into Stanford or somewhere else far away, will take a few writing courses at Mercer County, get myself an small apartment in New York and write my little ass off, and get some shit published. I have a lot of good ideas and not a lot of time to write them down, and writing is the only thing I really enjoy. I could sit in my shitty little apartment with my laptop that my parents would buy my upon completion of highschool and write and write and write forever and never get bored. Its like that story Dreamweaver that I found on Gaia, " I weave realities...entire worlds...entire universes from the very fabric of my mind." And that weaving could keep me occupied for hours. Thats what I will do. I will write and get published and become famous, but be perfectly happy with my shitty New York apartment and my laptop and possibly a boy- or girl-friend. That would be fine with me.
On the bright side, I did see Blank the other day, which made me very happy. I don't see Blank that often, so its nice when I do. BIG smile on my face afterwards. Rob thinks I'm insane, but I don't care. I like Blank. I don't know if Blank likes me, but I don't care. Its the simple things that make me really happy.
Well now that I'm done bitching, I think I will go finish my homework. O.K, so maybe I'm not done bitching just yet.
I've been stuck in this angsty-antisocial mood for the past couple of days. I just want to shout at everyone "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME! GET OUT OF MY WAY!" but I hold my tonuge because I need to learn to control my emotions. Sometimes I just want to find a corner and sit there and write and play loud heavy metal music with my hood up. I would go and hide in the library, but I hate that place. It's too conservative. It would make me even more crazy.
I think that after highschool, if I don't get into Stanford or somewhere else far away, will take a few writing courses at Mercer County, get myself an small apartment in New York and write my little ass off, and get some shit published. I have a lot of good ideas and not a lot of time to write them down, and writing is the only thing I really enjoy. I could sit in my shitty little apartment with my laptop that my parents would buy my upon completion of highschool and write and write and write forever and never get bored. Its like that story Dreamweaver that I found on Gaia, " I weave realities...entire worlds...entire universes from the very fabric of my mind." And that weaving could keep me occupied for hours. Thats what I will do. I will write and get published and become famous, but be perfectly happy with my shitty New York apartment and my laptop and possibly a boy- or girl-friend. That would be fine with me.
On the bright side, I did see Blank the other day, which made me very happy. I don't see Blank that often, so its nice when I do. BIG smile on my face afterwards. Rob thinks I'm insane, but I don't care. I like Blank. I don't know if Blank likes me, but I don't care. Its the simple things that make me really happy.
Well now that I'm done bitching, I think I will go finish my homework. O.K, so maybe I'm not done bitching just yet.