I'm still hungry
Had a roommate fight. It sucks. I need to A)be more assertive, and B)stop being a bitch. No promises though. It's been like, 3 days, and I have yet to talk to them about it, mostly cause I just leave when I get upset. That could be me literally running away from my problems, but fuck it, I don't need to bring people down while I'm mad. If I'm mad it's my problem and I think I should keep it that way until it's necessary to make it someone else's problem too.
I talked to a lot of people yesterday while I holed myself up in Fabiano's study room to get away from it all. I took an adderall to help me study and I couldn't tell if it worked or not. But doing my homework was pretty relaxing, I got up at like, 1 in the afternoon, so I only saw like, 4 hours of daylight. I think I'm going to start being nocturnal. I've gone to bed at 4am for the past 3 days for no reason at all. But whatever. While I was sitting there all day, I had a lot of time to think about things. I talked to a few people and they all pretty much thought that I was in the right. I'm not sure if they think I'm right because they only heard my side of the story, so I asked them and they all said that I'd probably be right even if they heard the other side of it. I dunno, if I'm wrong I'm willing to admit it, but I don't want them to think that they are always right, just because I give in so easily. See, while I was down there, I made a list of grievances and points, because you know, I'm actually a revolutionist disguised as a college student. And I like to make lists, because you know, I'm lame as hell. So it was basically this:
-I'm not out of line at all for not letting our neighbor JJ not use my laptop. He's a walking disaster and everything he touches turns to shit. I've given in before, but I've never been cool with him using my stuff because he doesn't replace anything. Laptops are expensive and I can't afford to fix something if he breaks it.
-I'm sorry if I come off as a bitch, but if I'm not then you guys won't listen to me. I like to do nice things for people, but I don't appreciate it when people expect me to do things for them. When they do, I get resentful and bitchy.
-I get mad because I feel disrespected, mostly by JJ, but the fact that you guys defend him all the time really makes me upset. He's in college. Saying that he doesn't know any better is not a valid excuse.
So I went rollerskating later on yesterday, with my other roommate, Heidi. It was more fun than I thought it would be. I met this kid who worked there, Doug. I didn't think he was all that cute or even all that interesting, but I was enjoying the novelty of being in the perfect situation to be picked up by a stranger. He totally didn't ask for my number though. But the whole night I could totally ask him to do whatever I wanted. When Joey needed rollerblades, he conned some kid into giving us his, and when the same kid pushed into me and my friends on purpose, I had Doug go yell at him. And then change the song that was playing.
Come to think of it, he probably didn't ask for my number because he thinks I'm controlling...Jeez.
I dunno, I think I'm gonna go talk to my roommates..wish me luck?
I talked to a lot of people yesterday while I holed myself up in Fabiano's study room to get away from it all. I took an adderall to help me study and I couldn't tell if it worked or not. But doing my homework was pretty relaxing, I got up at like, 1 in the afternoon, so I only saw like, 4 hours of daylight. I think I'm going to start being nocturnal. I've gone to bed at 4am for the past 3 days for no reason at all. But whatever. While I was sitting there all day, I had a lot of time to think about things. I talked to a few people and they all pretty much thought that I was in the right. I'm not sure if they think I'm right because they only heard my side of the story, so I asked them and they all said that I'd probably be right even if they heard the other side of it. I dunno, if I'm wrong I'm willing to admit it, but I don't want them to think that they are always right, just because I give in so easily. See, while I was down there, I made a list of grievances and points, because you know, I'm actually a revolutionist disguised as a college student. And I like to make lists, because you know, I'm lame as hell. So it was basically this:
-I'm not out of line at all for not letting our neighbor JJ not use my laptop. He's a walking disaster and everything he touches turns to shit. I've given in before, but I've never been cool with him using my stuff because he doesn't replace anything. Laptops are expensive and I can't afford to fix something if he breaks it.
-I'm sorry if I come off as a bitch, but if I'm not then you guys won't listen to me. I like to do nice things for people, but I don't appreciate it when people expect me to do things for them. When they do, I get resentful and bitchy.
-I get mad because I feel disrespected, mostly by JJ, but the fact that you guys defend him all the time really makes me upset. He's in college. Saying that he doesn't know any better is not a valid excuse.
So I went rollerskating later on yesterday, with my other roommate, Heidi. It was more fun than I thought it would be. I met this kid who worked there, Doug. I didn't think he was all that cute or even all that interesting, but I was enjoying the novelty of being in the perfect situation to be picked up by a stranger. He totally didn't ask for my number though. But the whole night I could totally ask him to do whatever I wanted. When Joey needed rollerblades, he conned some kid into giving us his, and when the same kid pushed into me and my friends on purpose, I had Doug go yell at him. And then change the song that was playing.
Come to think of it, he probably didn't ask for my number because he thinks I'm controlling...Jeez.
I dunno, I think I'm gonna go talk to my roommates..wish me luck?