im sick of all this fakeness. im sick of people faking things just to impress other people. im sick of faking the way I feel. and im tired of doing it just to help everyone else and not get them scared or upset/worried about me. but now, i dont even think anyone truely even cares anymore.
i hate when people ask whats wrong and i tell them nothing and they dont believe me and tell me to tell them whats really wrong. and so i do, and then it scares them away. and obviously theres so much to it that they cant help and i already know that. but i hate that, you tell someone and then they judge you on it and dont like what your doing and leave you all alone. when you were thinking they were going to be there even just to listen. and they dont understand that i dont like cutting myself either. i dont like thinking suicide would be better than living and i cant help it that im depressed its not something i chose, but yet people dont understand it and judge you on it. and it messes everything up with friends, family, school, and yourself emotionally and physcially.
i hate not knowing what to do with myself. i dont know if i want to cry or scream. im sick of holding myself because theres no one else around. and it feels like i cant let anyone know im upset anymore. i wish i had friends who werent so cold, like where they could say more then "hmmm" and stuff like that and actually hold me and tell me they are there for me whenever. i suck at making friends. seeing as how i have no true friends. and im REALLY sick of how everything ends up coming down to friends and how i have none.
im sick of people faking things just to impress other people.
im sick of faking the way I feel. and im tired of doing it just to help everyone else and not get them scared or upset/worried about me. but now, i dont even think anyone truely even cares anymore.
i hate when people ask whats wrong and i tell them nothing and they dont believe me and tell me to tell them whats really wrong. and so i do, and then it scares them away. and obviously theres so much to it that they cant help and i already know that. but i hate that, you tell someone and then they judge you on it and dont like what your doing and leave you all alone. when you were thinking they were going to be there even just to listen. and they dont understand that i dont like cutting myself either. i dont like thinking suicide would be better than living and i cant help it that im depressed its not something i chose, but yet people dont understand it and judge you on it. and it messes everything up with friends, family, school, and yourself emotionally and physcially.
i hate not knowing what to do with myself. i dont know if i want to cry or scream. im sick of holding myself because theres no one else around. and it feels like i cant let anyone know im upset anymore. i wish i had friends who werent so cold, like where they could say more then "hmmm" and stuff like that and actually hold me and tell me they are there for me whenever. i suck at making friends. seeing as how i have no true friends. and im REALLY sick of how everything ends up coming down to friends and how i have none.
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