(no subject)
So...
We got our hands on some money today, so we went and rented a movie for tonight, and we are going to spend the rest on some nice smokage, but Ben decided he was going to go to sleep, and our guy never came through. So I sit here alone drinking a box or crappy wine to myself and watching When Harry Met Sally. What a lovely valentines day this has turned out to be. I know right now that all of my friends and his for that matter are out having a great time with their significant others, and I sit here all by myself. Sometimes life really isnt all its cracked up to be.
Alittle bit of good news came today though. I got my acceptance letter. I did find out though that all together this is going to cost me over 600 dollars. I really dont have that kind of money. I really hope Lori doesnt mind borrowing me the money and I just pay her back once I have a job. Hmm I really hope she doesnt have a problem doing that.
I havent been this depressed since I met Ben. I thought I was better. I thought I wouldnt have to feel this way ever again. UGHHHH Why cant a man ever say romantic things to me. I dont think that Ben has ever said anything ever remotely romantic or exciting to me. I just get "shut up bitch" or "suck my dick" I know that he is probobly joking, but still just once I want someone...well not someone..I want BEN to say something nice and sweet about me. I mean I am not a terrible person. I do everything for that boy. I just want some appreciation. I dont want gifts I want romance, I want him to sweep me off my feet and just tell me that he loves me and cant live without me. I realized today that the entire time we have been together he has never ever gotten me anything. Ok so he got me a card that said "I love you damnit" but still. I know I know I sound like a bitch, Im really not into material possesions, but I think that once in a great while I deserve a little something. I didnt even get a thing for my birthday. We told eachother that our wedding was going to be our present to eachother for x-mas, even though I paid for the whole damn thing. I dont know what to do anymore. I guess Ill just stop complaining and be happy for what Ive got........
We got our hands on some money today, so we went and rented a movie for tonight, and we are going to spend the rest on some nice smokage, but Ben decided he was going to go to sleep, and our guy never came through. So I sit here alone drinking a box or crappy wine to myself and watching When Harry Met Sally. What a lovely valentines day this has turned out to be. I know right now that all of my friends and his for that matter are out having a great time with their significant others, and I sit here all by myself. Sometimes life really isnt all its cracked up to be.
Alittle bit of good news came today though. I got my acceptance letter. I did find out though that all together this is going to cost me over 600 dollars. I really dont have that kind of money. I really hope Lori doesnt mind borrowing me the money and I just pay her back once I have a job. Hmm I really hope she doesnt have a problem doing that.
I havent been this depressed since I met Ben. I thought I was better. I thought I wouldnt have to feel this way ever again. UGHHHH Why cant a man ever say romantic things to me. I dont think that Ben has ever said anything ever remotely romantic or exciting to me. I just get "shut up bitch" or "suck my dick" I know that he is probobly joking, but still just once I want someone...well not someone..I want BEN to say something nice and sweet about me. I mean I am not a terrible person. I do everything for that boy. I just want some appreciation. I dont want gifts I want romance, I want him to sweep me off my feet and just tell me that he loves me and cant live without me. I realized today that the entire time we have been together he has never ever gotten me anything. Ok so he got me a card that said "I love you damnit" but still. I know I know I sound like a bitch, Im really not into material possesions, but I think that once in a great while I deserve a little something. I didnt even get a thing for my birthday. We told eachother that our wedding was going to be our present to eachother for x-mas, even though I paid for the whole damn thing. I dont know what to do anymore. I guess Ill just stop complaining and be happy for what Ive got........