still hurting
.....and to be honest I miss my friends. Well atleast i miss the way they used to be. I used to have sincere friends who said forever meant forever, but i guess that wasn't enough. I said goodbye to alot of people this summer and as horrible as I should feel, i don't. The way people acted towards me this summer sucked, i felt like i had enemies at my side this entire time and was too stupid to realize it. The things people did to me were things I would never even think of doing to some people, but whatever. I'm not going to get down on my self just so they can get satisfaction out of how sad and pathetic they made me feel. It sucks when friends turn they're back on you and kick you to the curve as if you were never even an important part of their life, but it's even worse when best friends do it.
I've come to the conclusion that even though I have soo much hate in me I'm not going to make them feel the way they made me feel. It would honestly never want someone to hurt as much as I did. Sometimes people do things out of impulse without thinking, I've done it before, and things never are the same again, and people are never the same again. I will never be the same again.
As of right now i put my heart and feelings into one persons hands, and that's my amazing boyfriend. When i was at my lowest point and thought i was on my own he was there. He told me everything would be alright and that certain people in your life are going to petray you, no matter how much you were there for them or how much you tell them you love them. It's hard to believe, but It happened.
And for some strange and weird reason I'm happy with the way things are going. I'm happy with the decisions I made, and the way things turned out. I'm not going to let what people do and say affect me anymore, and I'm happy with that.
I've come to the conclusion that even though I have soo much hate in me I'm not going to make them feel the way they made me feel. It would honestly never want someone to hurt as much as I did. Sometimes people do things out of impulse without thinking, I've done it before, and things never are the same again, and people are never the same again. I will never be the same again.
As of right now i put my heart and feelings into one persons hands, and that's my amazing boyfriend. When i was at my lowest point and thought i was on my own he was there. He told me everything would be alright and that certain people in your life are going to petray you, no matter how much you were there for them or how much you tell them you love them. It's hard to believe, but It happened.
And for some strange and weird reason I'm happy with the way things are going. I'm happy with the decisions I made, and the way things turned out. I'm not going to let what people do and say affect me anymore, and I'm happy with that.